Happy 24th birthday to me once again!
I'm, hopefully, at a spa getting wrapped up in eucalyptus leaves and rubbed with warm oil while you're reading this. (Or am I doing laundry? Take your pick!)
I had all these wonderful ideas for a post today, but then I kept dismissing them as not being appropriate for my 24th birthday.
I mean, what if my parents stop in to wish me a happy birthday and I've chosen to do a post about the sex toys random strangers mail me? And what if I even listed the names I've chosen to give each particular toy ….
Do you think they'd understand?
Yes, people HAVE sent me sex toys and no, I'm not quite sure why. I'm not quite sure why I name them either, except there are now so many of them – how else would I keep track of them?
Perhaps readers send me sex toys because I mention them from time to time in my posts so they think I need MORE sex toys.
(Because five dildos is never enough!)
Someone even gave me a vibrating ring. Yeah, like a ring you wear on your finger. It's bright orange. I have a few questions about that particular toy, but let's not get into them right now.
If I die in surgery tomorrow someone is going to find an entire cabinet of sex toys and I don't want to be remembered for them.
I haven't even tried most of them yet!
Now, LOOK what's happened!
This has turned into a post about not writing a post about sex toys.
How did that happen?
I might as well have just written about the damn sex toys in the first place.
In addition, apparently I was politically incorrect yesterday.
(Don't act so surprised.)
There's been drama and scandal in the blogosphere recently.
Shocking, I know!
A popular, married, male blogger has been surreptitiously sending female bloggers his penis.
* Ahem *
I mean, photos of his penis – via email/text.
Sexual harassment of any sort is not something to laugh about, and yet – way too many funny one liners keep popping into my head.
I don't think what this blogger did (purportedly to multiple women) is at all funny. In fact, I think the man involved is in strong need of some serious psychiatric care if the allegations are as they've been presented.
I'm qualifying my statements because I wasn't there and I, personally, haven't received this particular man's penis wrapped up in a bow (or email) in my inbox.
And yet, I still have funny (to me) one liners cursing through my brain. I can't make them stop, but I have managed to keep myself from saying them out loud.
In the midst of all this blogging drama, and the concentrated effort on my part to bite my tongue and not let loose with the one-liners I SO want to let loose with …
I, unthinkingly, and with ill timing – posted a photo on twitter yesterday. (Yes, right in the middle of all the penis drama. My timing really was unintentional.)
The tweet and photo:
I originally took this to be artistic, but instead it just looks phallic. #PhotographyFail
I wasn't trying to make light of The Penis Controversy. I think all the penis talk just colored my view of the photos I was editing at the time.
Or maybe the photo really does look like one gigantic penis?
What do you think?
(Whoa! I just wrote a birthday post which had nothing to do with birthdays and at the same time I managed to mention sex toys and penises several times. I.Am.Amazing!)
© Twenty Four At Heart