Do you ever have a month day when you feel really stupid?
As if, perhaps, your IQ is dropping ten points at a time every half hour?
Yesterday morning my iPhone arrived.
To know how excited I was, you'd have to understand how much I've come to hate my Blackberry. I would have hugged the UPS man, but it wasn't my normal UPS man. Instead, it was an unknown UPS man who might have been alarmed if I went flying into his arms when I opened the door. (My regular UPS man is used to all sorts of unpredictable behavior on my part and wouldn't have blinked.)
After he left, I tore into the box, eager to play with my new toy.
The directions informed me all I needed to do was sync the phone to my iTunes library and the phone would be activated.
The phone synced (apps loaded, etc.), but the phone itself did not activate.
I called Verizon for help.
A NICE man was instantly on the phone helping me.
I explained the problem to him.
"Hmmmm," he said.
"Exactly!" I replied.
It didn't take long for him to look up my account and say, "Ma'am? You don't happen to be calling me from your Blackberry right now?"
"Yes, I am," I answered, amazed at how intuitive he was. (I even forgave him for calling me ma'am – which I hate – because he was SO smart!)
"Well, ma'am you'll have to turn that phone OFF in order for your new phone to activate on that same phone number."
:: Light bulb! ::
I've got to give him credit for not laughing at me, at least not while I was still on the line with him.
An hour later, I was in a waiting room biding my time until my annual mammogram.
"What a great opportunity to play with my new phone and learn all its tricks," I thought.
I clicked on one app, figured out how it worked, and then moved on to try another.
I got bored quickly and decided to play Angry Birds for awhile until it was my turn to go back for the test.
I've played Angry Birds many times on our iPad.
No big deal, right?
Except the next thing I knew Angry Bird music was BLARING in the (previously) perfectly quiet waiting room. I didn't know how to silence it. I didn't know how to turn the phone off.
I basically don't know how my own phone works at all.
And oh yes, you can laugh all you want. Because you know what I did? I sat on my phone to try and muffle the Angry Bird music. Yes, I did. Sitting on my brand new iPhone only accomplished one thing …
It made it sound like my ass was singing.
I don't even have words to describe the looks I was getting from the other women in the waiting room. The expression on the face of the nurse who came to call me back for the test was priceless. As I rose to walk back with her, an iPhone appeared out of my ass with increasingly loud music.
I was so embarrassed.
I kept pushing and touching things on it and eventually it got quiet. I'm not sure HOW I silenced it, but I did.
Really, you ought to just come walk around with me for a day.
I'm full of unexpected laughs and you'll never be bored.
© Twenty Four At Heart