You Know It’s Not a Good Day When …

I'm borrowing a laptop so I can say hello to all of you today.

If I'm worse than usual at getting back to your emails and comments, I hope you'll understand I don't have access to a computer right now.

The built-in mouse on my MacBook was acting up.

Acting up, as in, I had to pound on it to make it work.  I took it in to see an Apple Genius yesterday.  He was a nice Genius.  He immediately noticed my screensaver and told me it was an "incredible" photo.

"I took that photo," I said smiling, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. 

(And of course that led to a conversation about photography.) 

The Genius did say I might need an intervention though.

I think he came to that conclusion when he told me he'd have to keep my laptop for a few days and I started howling, "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!!  You can't take it awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

Then I might have begged, pleaded, offered sexual favors, and requested speedy service.


But, that isn't the only thing that was a "blip" in my yesterday.

I got a speeding ticket in the morning too.

It's the first ticket, of any kind, I've had since I was 20 years old.

So …

That means it's been four years, right?

I couldn't even argue the ticket.

I deserved it.

I was going just a few miles over the speed limit … not too bad.

Then I decided to pass someone who was in front of me.

I sped up a lot even more, passed the slower car and pulled back into my lane again.  I promptly came face to face with Mr. Officer's radar gun.


To make matters worse, he was a nice cop.

I could have convinced myself I was angry if he'd been a dick about it.

"I'm sorry," I told him.  "I'm late for an appointment and I was going too fast."

"Just a little too fast," he replied regretfully.

He hung his head as if it ruined his day to give me a ticket.

The man looked absolutely dejected.

I wondered if I should flash some cleavage.  

I mean, I have a lot of cleavage to spare, and it's definitely helped me out of a jam before.


He was just such a nice guy.

I didn't feel like it would be fair to hypnotize him with my spell-provoking cleavage.

I could tell he felt really bad about giving me a ticket though, just not bad enough to let me off.  He said my driving record is "commendable" and then he made me sign on the dotted line, making it not-so-commendable-anymore.


I hear you can do traffic school online now to get tickets erased off your record.  Is that true?

Doing it online would be right up my alley ….

If I had my computer back, that is.

© Twenty Four At Heart

6 Responses to “You Know It’s Not a Good Day When …”

  1. Karen

    oooh, don’t ya hate when that happens. I don’t have as much cleavage as you for the hypnotizing, tho, so I wouldn’t even try.

  2. Di

    HA. I got a ticket when we lived in Arizona…. I did traffic school to keep it off my record. Talk about a BORING class. But it kept my driving record pristine which keeps our insurance rates down. I did do the cop/cleavage thing some years ago and it worked!

  3. Joanne

    by all means do the online class. They even put little numbers by the key elements, to make it easy to make your own cheat sheet for the test. at least the Florida version does. But you know about Florida, we cant even punch a hole in a piece of paper without screwing up!

  4. Jan

    I have had all of one speeding ticket in my entire life, and I got that 5 years ago while barreling through downtown Columbus on my way to join Beloved in Louisville on a business trip. My cop also felt bad, but – like yours – not enough to just give me a warning (they have quotas they must meet, you know).
    I hope you get your baby back, soon. I’d start hyperventilating and get the dry heaves if I didn’t have my laptop for a few days.

  5. Catherine

    Yes you can do it online but it is SO tedious! You’ll be regretting having not used your spell-provoking cleavage. Ha ha. You’re so funny!

  6. Karl

    A broken computer and a speeding ticket the same day? Ugh. The traffic classes are boring, but worth not screwing up your driving record. I once went to a class at the Improv, where a stand-up comic taught the traffic course. Made it almost bearable.


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