Yesterday, I discovered a terrible, frightening, BIG half-man/half-lizard/half-snake creature lives in my backyard.
The entire back of our house is windows. When I'm home I'm constantly noticing "my" mountains, or the zillions of hummingbirds zipping around my backyard, or whatever.
I glanced out the window and suddenly saw this big, fat, black, hairy (???) THING coming down one of my favorite trees.
My first thought was squirrel …
But it definitely wasn't a squirrel.
It was too fat and too dark to be one of our (bazillion) lizards.
It was really dark black.
It was really, really, fat.
We get a lot of wildlife here, but I've never seen anything like this … creature.
I walked outside and got within maybe five ten twenty feet of it.
It had beady eyes.
It was ugly.
It was prehistoric looking and SCARY.
I ran back inside the house and locked the door.
(So it couldn't turn the door knob and come in!)
I swear, it stared at me for a long, long time through the window.
I decided the best course of action was to lock all the doors and leave the house.
In my car.
With the car doors locked.
If I gave Backyard Scary Creature alone time it would surely slither/crawl/creep back into the canyon behind my house.
Before I left, I sent a text message to my friend, Nike: There's something scary in my backyard so I'm leaving. It's half man and half lizard.
Nike lives pretty close to me and her house backs against "my" canyon. She shares the danger of rattlesnakes, bobcats, mountain lions, etc. We've also been friends for at least one hundred years.
You'd think Nike would come running right over to rescue me, wouldn't you?
Instead, this is the text I promptly got back from her: Run! Which half is man? You may want to stay!
And yes, I did spit out the water I was sipping on when I read her message.
After I recovered,
I left the house for a few minutes hours so the creature could disappear.
When I got home, guess what?
I saw it's scary head with beady eyes staring out at me from my tree!
It's living in my tree!!
Let me tell you again,
THE BIG, TERRIFYING, FAT, HAIRY(?), CREEPY, CRAWLY, SLITHERY, HALF-MAN, HALF-LIZARD, HALF-SNAKE, BEADY-EYED, CREATURE LIVES IN MY TREE!!!
What am I going to do??
© Twenty Four At Heart