I Blame You (You’re an Idiot), Not Your Kids

There was a little incident at the beach the other day.

Some of my family members and guests wanted to enjoy a beautiful day at the beach.

We purposely went to a beach very few tourists know about.  It's located in a small cove and doesn't get crowded.  It's a bit of a hike, so even lazy locals don't want to be bothered.  There are no public bathrooms either … another strike against it as far as the crowds go.

(By the way, we peed before we left … please don't pee in my the ocean.  I don't want to swim in your piss!  Do you want to swim in other people's bodily fluids?)

Some of my family/friends arrived first and they went to the far, far, end of the cove by the rocks.  Then they went on the other side of those rocks where there's a narrow, very small, strip of sand available to sit on when the tide is down.  When the tide comes up, there's no beach there at all.  

Ah …. privacy!


Black and white beach photo


We were having a great afternoon.  It could not have been prettier.

Late in the afternoon, two boys (about ages 3 and 5) came running around the rocks.  They were laughing and playing.  My first thought, when I saw them was "CUTE!"

I like kids.  I'm, by no means, a kid hater.

I have three kids of my own, two of which are boys.  

The cuteness ended pretty quickly, however, when one of the boys threw sand directly in Briefcase's face. 

Let me clarify, they weren't throwing sand while playing ….

Boy #1 looked right at Briefcase, reached down and grabbed a handful of sand, ran up to Briefcase and threw it directly into his face.

We were … stunned.

And then?

Boy #2 decided to copy his brother and did the same thing.

Boy #1 was running back and forth on our microscopic patch of beach.  Back and forth right across our fairly small blanket, repeatedly, as a matter of fact.

Boy #1 threw sand in one of my friend's faces as deliberately as he had done to Briefcase just moments before.

After the second time, his (I presume) Dad, Grandfather, and another male adult appeared. 

(I later saw the mom sleeping on a beach blanket at the other end of the beach.)

I normally avoid confrontations, but I said -as nicely as I could, "The boys are throwing sand at us."

"Oh, you mean they're acting like kids?" replied Grandpa indignantly.

Ummm ….

"They're being boys," added the dad, clearly irritated with me.

Grandpa, Dad, and Other Adult Male stood there talking to each other – completely ignoring the boys and their behavior.  In their eyes, I had voiced an unimportant complaint.  None of the adults even bothered to look over and see what the boys were doing.  

After all, boys will be boys.


All three men oozed with the attitude – There's no way OUR kids could be in the wrong.  They're just being boys!

Sand throwing went on for awhile.  Chasing one another across our beach blanket continued as well.

And yes, we did ask the boys to stop on both accounts.  Neither boy even acknowledged we had spoken.

Finally, because it was clear there were no alternatives, we packed up our stuff and left.

As we were walking away, the boys grabbed handfuls of sand once again.  I guess, since we were no longer easy targets, they ran up to their Grandpa and threw it directly at him.  Grandpa was standing up, unlike Briefcase and my friend who had been at eye level with the boys.  The sand flew against his body, not into his face and eyes.

Still …

Grandfather was pissed.

"No throwing sand," he scolded.

In response, Boy #2 picked up a handful of sand and threw it right at Grandfather again.

Grandfather's face turned red in anger.  He began sputtering.

Right then Grandfather looked up at me.

We made eye contact and a light bulb seemed to go on in Grandfather's eyes.

We were leaving.  We had informed them the boys were throwing sand AT us.  They had belittled and ignored the complaint.  Now the boys were throwing sand at HIM and he didn't like it at all.

The other adults, most notably the parents, made no attempt to say anything to the boys.  Apparently, the word no is not in their vocabulary.  

Can someone explain this to me?

Do the parents think they're doing their kids a favor by being "nice?"

Are they completely blind to the fact their kids are not learning behavior boundaries?

And please,

Don't tell me ages 3 and 5 are too young to understand the meaning of no.

© Twenty Four At Heart

14 Responses to “I Blame You (You’re an Idiot), Not Your Kids”

  1. Michelle

    I think that they don’t actually care. And by the time they do care, it will be too late unfortunately. And 5 months is young enough to learn the meaning of no (don’t roll over when changing the diaper!), let alone 3 and 5 years.

  2. Jan

    The other day, The G Man (2) was playing with another little boy (3) who began to throw his toys – at the wall, at his father, at G. My 2-year-old grandson then began saying, “No, Baby! Bad! Don’t throw! No!”
    Too young to understand boundaries and “no”? I think not.

  3. Jill

    I’d be PISSED! And after dealing with new neighbors here whose young daughters are as BITCHY and DISRESPECTFUL as they come … I’m no longer surprised at anything.
    Parents these days are WAY too lax with their kids. I may come across as running a tight ship, but kids need boundaries and this crossed WAY over them.

  4. karen

    Oh, that’s pure ignorance on the part of the adults in that family. It’s the reason the boys think its ok to behave so horribly. They will learn the hard way some day that you don’t get away with that forever. You were much more tolerant than I would have been (with the adults).

  5. Stephen

    I’m a little bit old school I guess. I would have went immediately to the adults and kicked sand all over them. And asked them how they liked that. Last year at my nephew’s high school graduation there was a kid with a smart phone and during the speeches he was dicking around with it. All kinds of loud noises, like he was searching ringtones or something. Several of us around him asked him to knock it off so we could hear. He just acted like he didn’t hear us and kept it up. I grabbed the little prick by the back of his collar and yanked him up and told him, “Shut it off or I’m going to stick it up your ass!” About a dozen people right around us applauded and he shut it off. And left. I might not be PC enough for some, but I’ve always been a fan of accountability, and direct action. 🙂

  6. Robert O

    The parents of those kids would be wise to start saving bail money now, as they will be needing it in the future.

  7. dogmother

    I sound really, really old, but I feel like I am seeing shades of this behavior frequently. Parents don’t want to say “NO”. These kids will end up in trouble at a young age..drugs, other crimes…juvenille detention, then jail. It’s that simple.

  8. Pam

    You were much calmer than I would’ve been. Those little kids are definitely old enough to know the word NO. Sounds like they’re going to grow up just like the parents and grandparents…

  9. Mike E

    I’d smack my kids so hard across the face, they wouldn’t ever need to be told “no” again.
    Oh and the ocean is full of the same bodily fluids from the fishes swimming in the ocean =P. (Our urine is basically the same as their’s)

  10. Jane

    Two years ago, I was flying to NC from Utah and a little girl, about 3 yrs was running in the aisle right next to me. I was reading my book and ignoring her as best I could. So, she HITS me! Because I wouldn’t look at how “cute” she was. I gave her mom the evil eye but she did nothing to stop her. A couple of minutes later, this devil’s spawn HIT me AGAIN. I looked directy at her and said (in a very loud voice) “Don’t hit me!” I think I scared the shit out of her little 3 yr old heart because she went on to the man in the next seat and started hitting him instead. The mom never did a thing.

  11. laura

    It’s called being spoiled wrotten and the parents just dont care. My 1 year old son listens better than that. He knows what NO means, and I sure as HELL wouldv’e made the kids stop, appologixe and then they wouldn’t have been able to play for a little bit. That’s just rediculous and stupid.


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