An Endless Journey

*  I wanted to take a moment and thank all of you who have placed orders for Moxxor.  It’s a product I really believe in.  I hope you feel its benefits too! *

I’m kind of (very much!) a mess today.

As it turns out, if some random physical therapist gets certain parts of your body to start moving –

And those parts of your body haven’t moved in nearly six years –

It will be a (very!) good thing –

Even though, initially, it hurts like hell.

Was that the longest sentence ever??

I’m definitely making progress with The Neanderthal,

But – damn!

Breathing hurts right now.

I visualize pretty beaches, and concentrate on breathing, while The Neanderthal hurts (I mean helps?) me.

It isn’t my arm and/or shoulder that hurts.  No, I can honestly say my non-working arm, and my non-working shoulder, hurt a lot LESS than when I began treatment with The Neanderthal in December.  Between the A.R.T. treatments he’s giving me and the anti-inflammatory properties of Moxxor … I really am making progress.

Go me!!

No, it’s my rib cage, my back, my chest, my side ….

Basically, every muscle that attaches to my arm or shoulder.  Parts of my body hurt that have never hurt in relation to my injuries before.

Yes, The Neanderthal is giving me entirely new types of pain.

“Are you okay?” he asks mid-ripping my body to shreds.

I open my eyes (they’ve been closed in an effort to shut out reality).  We make eye contact.

“It hurts,” I say matter of factly.

“It hurts like hell,” he nods.

And then I close my eyes and he continues ripping my body to shreds.

OK, so he’s ripping out scar tissue in the adjacent/attached muscles –

But it FEELS like he’s ripping my body to shreds.

He’s moving my arm for me …

It’s an arm that hasn’t been moved by anyone in about two years.  The muscles in the surrounding area are freaking the hell out.

I also made the mistake of forgetting to take Moxxor with me on my trip – a huge mistake.  It will take a few days of being back on it to “calm down” the inflammation going on in my body.

But it’s all good.

I know it’s part of the process.

I know I need someone to move my arm in the (many) ways I can’t.

I know I’m “this bad,” because I gave up on physical therapy when I gave up on The Torturer, or rather –

When he gave up on me.

I know, at some point, it will get easier.

I see the progress I’m making.

The very fact my other muscles are hurting is progress –

They’re being stretched, moved, freed from being “scarred down.”

It’s all good –

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

It’s been a very long, very difficult, journey.

I can’t bare to think about how long it’s been …

I try to concentrate on taking it one day at a time.

I’m so much better than I was six weeks ago –

Breathe!

8 Responses to “An Endless Journey”

  1. Michelle

    I’m glad it’s all good. But I sympathize. My brother does Ayurveda massage (lots of yoga stretches) and regularly massages me to keep me loose and him in practice (he is also a nurse). I forget each time he says he’s coming to give me a massage just how much some of those moves are (are you sure my elbows are meant to almost touch behind my back? and I don’t think my legs really stretch that way that far). But, I also know, that when he is done, I am a lot looser in my movements for a while.

    • Twenty Four At Heart

      I’ve never heard of that type of massage before. I think your brother would break me in two if he did that with me! : ) I imagine you’re very limber!

  2. Jan's Sushi Bar

    It always upsets me when I see you write about how much pain you’re in…but I REJOICE at the words “I’m so much better than I was 6 weeks ago.”

    Give The Neanderthal a great big, one-armed hug from me the next time you see him, please.

  3. karen

    I go to physical therapy for a much smaller scale neck/back/shoulder injury and I know the pain from the breaking up of scar tissue. It ain’t fun… and on your level, even worse. I hope your healing and mobility continues, sounds like you’ve found a good therapist.

  4. Denise

    I am so happy for you, not for the pain of course, but for the fact that you have finally found someone who is helping in a big big way. Scar tissue is a formidable beast so it takes a Neanderthal to conquer it.

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