Announcing: A Return to Being ME

In case you missed it:  Last week, I announced I’m planning a road trip to come visit you!  Do you want to meet me?  Click here for details.

Funky things are going on in my life …

Some of it’s very exciting.

Some of it’s worrisome.

Some of it’s sad.

Some of it’s – just bizarre.

For instance,

Right now I’m FASTING.

Later today I’m getting a BRAZILIAN BIKINI WAX.

Those two things?

They’re not related at all.

In case you just landed here from some other planet.

FASTING means eating absolutely nothing.

(I’m allowed/encouraged to drink water – which is very generous of Whoever Makes The Rules, don’t ya think?)

I’m fasting because I’m having a “pre-op” physical today.  (More info to follow sometime in the near future.)

The whole fasting thing pisses me off – or maybe I’m just hungry?

And don’t worry – I’m perfectly fine.

(To be completely honest, I’m very annoyed – but I’m fine.)

BRAZILIAN BIKINI WAX means having my lady bits waxed until I’m one hundred percent bare down there.

I get waxed every four weeks whether I need it or not.

Too much information??

I don’t know why these two events are scheduled on the same day,

It probably was a very bad idea.

Low blood sugar and hot wax on my cooter might not be the best combination.

(Although, I have to admit, the big riiiiiiiip is a lot worse than the hot wax.  After all, a little warmth is a good thing – right?)

As long as I’m rambling,

(Which I’m blaming entirely on FASTING ….)

I want to get something off my chest today.

I have stories inside me.

In fact, I have stories I can’t seem NOT to write.

Most of these stories “in waiting” are true.

Some of these stories “in waiting” are based on truth.

A few of these stories “in waiting” are one hundred percent figments of my imagination.

They need to be told so  I can get them out of my head.

For the last few months,

I’ve been self-censoring my writing.

I’ve been doing this for several reasons.

For one,

I’ve been a little intimidated by the sudden interest in my photography by so many “new” people.

Bikes are one of my favorite photography subjects.

Truthfully, I got some flak about 24 from someone I perceived as Having Some Importance In the Photography World.

I reacted to it by trying to be a more reserved, more adult, version of myself.

What would happen if Important/Famous Photographers came over to 24 only to see me writing about my latest Brazilian bikini wax?

They might be offended and dismiss my photography as being horrible, bad, pagan – or whatever.

What if they expect me to act like …

I don’t know –

Maybe a grown-up?

Does my highly offensive personality mean I take bad photos?

Can’t my bad photos take credit all on their own?

(By the way, I’ve come to realize – the Important/Famous Photographers I respect the most, like me the way I am.)

It’s taken me my entire life to realize,

My personality is based in the creative.

I’ve never thought of myself as being a creative-type person until very recently.

I’ve realized,

I HAVE TO let my creativity out, or feel like I’m going to explode.

It takes so much energy to NOT be yourself.

I have to take photos the way I want to take them – whether anyone likes/approves/appreciates them or not.

I have to.

I have to write whatever’s in my head –

Whether anyone likes/approves/appreciates my “stories” or not.

I realize I’m not for everyone.

In fact, it’s probably safe to say, I’m not for most people.

I don’t want to be.

I just want to feel free to be myself – here, and in my photography.

I don’t think I’ve ever “fit in” anywhere –

Ever.

In my entire life.

Why start now?

(P.S.  Spell-check is telling me cooter is not a real word.  WTF?)

30 Responses to “Announcing: A Return to Being ME”

  1. sulky kitten

    Well, I like you. I was told as a child “You’re not a £100 note, so not everybody’s going to like you!” Good job they told me that early eh? Self censorship is like self-mutilation, but we all do it to some extent. Some people like boring, safe and anodyne – let them find it elsewhere. I’d rather you were just yourself, as I find you very entertaining – and your photographs are great.

  2. Diane

    I’ve never fit in either…. my entire life I’ve felt like I’m always the odd one in the group. It took me until my 50’s to realize that that’s okay…. and at least I’m not a phony person. Do we really need to please the rest of the world? I don’t think so. Just be who you are, Cooter Girl. LOL

  3. WebSavvyMom

    –>Let the creativity out. We’re not all supposed to be the same and like the same things. One of my resolutions was to stop self-censoring myself on the blog too. I’m trying.

  4. Jan's Sushi Bar

    Oh, this post is making me do The Happy Dance. I’ve missed the posts about getting caught walking through your house naked by the guys working in your back yard! (Offensive personality, my fat, white backside.)

    But “pre-op” test? What’s this? Another one??

    • Twenty Four At Heart

      Thanks Jan.
      There’s more than one thing that has caused the self-censorship.
      It isn’t always easy, but I’m sure going to make a huge effort to be true to myself again.

  5. Robert O

    I love your line “It takes so much energy to NOT be yourself” these are words to live by, thanks for the reminder 24.

  6. Missy

    Glad you’re back! What’s up with pre-op exam? You haven’t shared this with us. We are family too!

  7. Linda

    Let it out Suzanne. The waxing thing though…. Not for me thanks. Lol not that we are talking about me. I always thought bare was scary- like too “out there” and exposed. I am more furtive like that.

  8. Linda

    Love cooter girl comment. Being yourself is an art that generally requires a little maturity (read age) to acquire. Ilove your posts.

  9. sandi

    I am so proud of you! You fit in with me just fine!! Not that I am a group or anything, and I may not be someone anyone in their right mind would want to fit in with, but I think we fit good together.

  10. Cathy B

    Well, this is YOUR blog, so you fit in here just perfectly! And you fit in just fine with all of us who like your blog too. If any of us don’t fit in elsewhere, I think it’s elsewhere’s loss!

    A friend recently told me she’d found it takes far more energy to avoid something than to face it and deal with it – same idea as all the extra work it takes to not be yourself, I guess.

  11. Jenn in Tenn

    As I am always reminding my 14 year old daughter…be yourself..all the time. If you feel that people don’t allow you to do that, then those people aren’t worth your time!
    I love you just the way you are!!

  12. Editdebs

    I concur with everyone else–I like you with the smart ass attached (even if it comes with a nekkid cooter).

  13. Denise

    Why don’t you get lazor treatments? That hot wax and ripping the hair out by the roots is wayyy too violent. ;( There is a better way. 😉

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