I’m at the Hospital Today, So You Get THIS

I’m spending the day knocked out at an OC hospital.

I’m fine.

Well, I think I’m fine.  (I don’t really know, because I’m asleep!)

Send flowers!

Pretty, pretty, pink flower!

Just kidding!

Several months ago, I wrote a post explaining I was having a few issues with my digestive system.

Let me tell you, THAT was an exciting read!

A colonoscopy revealed polyps, which were pre-cancerous.  They were successfully, one hundred percent, removed.

By the way, I have the greatest GI doc!

He also happens to be a friend of my husband’s.

(Because we want to share dinner with men who have seen my asshole up close and personal.)

However,

Because absolutely nothing about me can be normal –

The doctor was not quite able to complete the colonoscopy.

I have an extra (!!) long colon, apparently.

Also?

It’s all twisted up in knots.  Not real knots, but all twisty sort-of-like knots.

OF COURSE IT IS!

Anyway,

It was determined at the time of my colonoscopy, I’d have to return in a few months for a bit more involved procedure.

I’m currently knocked out under general anesthesia while some special tools for very special people with abnormal colons are stuck up my ass.

YAY ME!!

Also?

I’ve been fasting for a couple days.

Yesterday I drank a GALLON of disgusting “prep.”  It tasted like warm snot and, hypothetically, might make a person shit at turbo speed.

You’re welcome.

By the way ….?

I hope all of you will get over the embarrassment/inconvenience factor and get colonoscopies if/when you need them.

They SAVE lives.

Did you know colon cancer is the second leading cause of cancer deaths?

(And it’s almost entirely preventable, if detected early!)

(And no, you don’t have to have a family history of colon cancer in order to have it yourself.)

In other news –

•  I’m on pain meds on a very empty stomach – Wheeeee!!   (Please take pain meds every four hours, said the nurse.)

•  My sweet, 12 year old, Golden Retriever had to have a molar pulled on Tuesday.  His tooth was cracked and getting infected.  He might have chewed on a rock.  It wasn’t the smartest thing he’s ever done.  He’s on pain meds too.

•  We can recuperate together.  I love my dog.

•  I might be getting divorced.  I ordered a Canon 14mm 2.8 (extra wide) lens yesterday.  (Briefcase just found out by reading my blog.  Hi husband!)

•  I couldn’t help myself.

•  I really, really, needed the lens for an upcoming shoot.  Also, it will be very important for Road Trip 24!

•  At least, I never spend money on clothes, make-up, or jewelry – right?

•  Right????

•  I’ll hopefully be back tomorrow with an update on my life.

•  If not – I should be able to at least get a pretty photo or two up for you to view this weekend.

• Zzzzzzzzzzz!

12 Responses to “I’m at the Hospital Today, So You Get THIS”

  1. Jan's Sushi Bar

    Oh, girl – I don’t know whether to laugh or bemoan the fact you’re under anesthesia AGAIN.

    I’ve drunk that concoction myself before; you have my utmost sympathy.

  2. Linda M

    Oh dear, that sounds entirely too nasty! I haven’t done that yet, but I know it’s just a few years away. Maybe by then they’ll have changed the drink to something with alcohol in it??? Just saying, that might make it endurable! : )

    I will be thinking of you today!

  3. Suzanne

    My colonoscopy is scheduled for March 14th Fun times – but not nearly as bad as colon cancer so I think I will suck it up and be happy that we have health insurance that covers preventative health procedures.

    This of course will be offset by the fact that my sweet dog chewed up my very expensive mouthguard because I grind my teeth at night.

    Wishing you and your sweet Golden a speedy recovery. My beloved Golden will be 14 in May and is just now getting a few gray hairs. I wish I was drinking from the same fountain of youth that she is. Except I don’t want to do downward facing dog and drink from the dog bowl!

    • Twenty Four At Heart

      Thank you Suzanne.
      There were people at the hospital today with some HORRIBLE gi problems/cancers. I would much rather have a colonoscopy!

      I’m sorry your dog ate your mouthguard! Ha! Sounds like something a retriever might do!

  4. Judi

    Hope all went well and that you and your dog are both resting comfortably and have been able to eat something.

  5. Missy

    Didn’t they tell you to refrigerate it first and suck hard sour candies between glasses? Also the lemon lime flavor packet is the best of the bunch. I have been having them since I was 40 so I have plenty of experience.

×

Comments are closed.