Tales From an Orange County Gym

Well, you knew it was coming –

Tales from my new physical therapy facility …!

As background, I should explain, I’m actually going to an Orange County gym for my physical therapy appointments.

The Neanderthal rents space from a gym – which is not conveniently located to my home.

People who get hurt while working out at the gym (pulled/sore muscles/minor injuries), often stop in to get help for their pain from The Neanderthal.

In turn, as patients finish up physical therapy with The Neanderthal (for surgeries or more serious injuries),

They’re encouraged to become active at the gym.

How could I NOT have stories when I’m now hanging out at a gym?

(In The OC, of all places …!)

As Orange County gyms go, this particular facility is a very basic, no-frills place.  (Many of the gyms here are spa-like.)

It’s a We-Don’t-Fuck-Around-Here, hard body, gym.  The majority of people who go there are extremely serious about having perfect bodies.

They don’t get fit just to have a healthy lifestyle –

Getting fit, and more fit, and even more fit is their lifestyle.

I, obviously, don’t “fit” in, at all.

Har dee har har!!

I crack myself up!

Anyway –

Proving sex is always on everybody’s minds –

Titled:  With Lips Like Yours

When you look at the above photo – do you think fountain?  Or fish?  Or sex?  Or, as one G+ viewer told me, oral sex?

Here are a few entertaining recent tidbits from the gym:

•  Overheard   A married man talking about a much younger (attractive) woman:  I don’t have a crush on her.  Just because I want to violate her in every way possible, doesn’t mean I have a crush.

•  Overheard  A man, sounding very disappointed:  You mean her tits are fake?  They aren’t even that big!  I’ve been staring at them for months.  They’re fairly small – I thought they were perfect.

•  Witnessed  Plastic Barbie laying on a table, as The Neanderthal works on (whatever got up) her ass.  She’s wearing very short-shorts – of course.  His hand is up her shorts, as he asks “Is this the spot?”  She nods.  I might have been a few feet away entertaining people with play-by-play comments as The Barbie Encounter took place.  (Who me?)  There really are no words to convey the amusement this situation provided.  (Actually, truth be told – my comments might have contributed greatly to the hilarity in the room.)

•  P.S.  I hope I never have to be treated for a problem with my ass.

•  Overheard  There were some great looking body parts to check out at the event last weekend.

•  Overheard  That machine looks like a giant vibrator.  Do you think it would make me feel better?  (Oh wait, I might have been the one who said that!)

•  Eye Candy  As I’ve previously mentioned, there’s an oh-so-hot (!) male trainer working at the gym.  The Neanderthal thinks it’s fair game to tease me about the fact my eyes might have wandered, just a wee little bit, on occasion.

There’s nothing wrong with a glance now and then, right?

It’s not like I’ve been voicing a desire to “violate him in every way possible.”

Looking doesn’t make me a cougar.

(Repeat after me:  Looking doesn’t ….!)

13 Responses to “Tales From an Orange County Gym”

  1. Di

    LOVED this post, Suzanne. It was kind of a “we don’t fuck around here” kind of post. LMAO Now excuse me while I go kiss a fish on Groundhog Day.

  2. WebSavvyMom

    –>Funny, the pisces in me thought of that first when I saw the fish picture.

    Our gym is $79 a YEAR (for adults) if you’re a resident and you can go to any of the seven locations within city limits. My son takes swim lessons twice a week and the people watching is Amazing.

    • Twenty Four At Heart

      Pisces? No one has mentioned that before. You have a wholesome brain!

      Wow – clearly, I should move. You’d be horrified by the cost of living here!

  3. Jan's Sushi Bar

    This post makes me very happy.

    As for the photo, the first thing I thought was “Damn – great shot of the water spout!” Really and truly.

    And just because you’re on a diet, doesn’t mean you can’t peruse the menu…so keep looking, I say.

    • Twenty Four At Heart

      I’m glad it made you happy.
      I wonder if Beloved would think the same thing if he looked at it?
      Of couse, on G+ it was mainly the men who interpreted the photo in a sexual way.

  4. Joanne J

    he has no room to tease you about LOOKING!! Look where he had is hands! call him “fist full of ass” next time he does that

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