I did a lot of photography (and cooking) (and chores – BLEH!) over the weekend.
Due to the cooler spring temperatures, I didn’t flash my boobs to a single neighbor all weekend.
Instead, in an attempt to learn the features on my new camera,
I took a few photos.
I played with self-portraits, something I usually avoid at all costs.
Photo: Self portrait taken from my patio, in the reflection of my kitchen window.
I’m always behind the camera. I hate being in front of it.
Unfortunately, my pain level is much worse than last week. (Not from using my camera, I only took a few photos.)
I was frustrated with a couple of the flower pots on our patio so I started working on them.
I didn’t *think* I did very much,
Just a little clipping, just a little pulling dead stuff out of pots ….
But I apparently did too much.
(Note to self: Do not use nerve-damaged arm even a little bit, ever.)
The pain is so intense it’s been waking me up several times each night, in spite of all my night drugs that are supposed to help me sleep through pain.
I’m so stupid sometimes.
Do you ever get mad at yourself?
I really piss myself off.
I struggle with the wanting-to-garden thing every spring. I still refuse to accept I can’t do it anymore.
Last week, Dr. Painless told me he admires my passion for life.
He said a lot of people never have a “spark” and just live their lives.
He also said he really appreciates my dedication to re-gaining photography in my life post-accident.
He told me most people who have experienced things like I have,
Lose their passion for life, and for the things they’ve loved.
I understand that.
Pain is so defeating.
Disability can be too … but pain,
Pain, at least in my case, trumps disability.
I do know –
My injuries would hurt a lot less, if I didn’t have so much life in my life.
If I was content to sit on the couch and watch TV ….
If I’d just give up,
Take pain pills every few hours,
And stop trying to do the things I love.
But I can’t.
I’m a stubborn bitch.
Photo: Black Phoebe named Phoebe
Phoebe, who some of you might remember from last year, is nesting in the rocks of our pool again.
In anticipation of her arrival, we blocked our pool grotto with netting.
I was “sure” she wouldn’t be able to nest in the pool due to our expert bird-blocking-efforts.
(Twenty Four vs. Black Phoebe Bird … a real live episode, coming soon for your personal entertainment!)
As much as my family enjoys Phoebe’s visits every year, we also like to use our pool without her dive bombing us while we swim.
(She is, understandably, always quite protective of her nest/eggs/babies.)
Phoebe shocked me by tearing down the netting we put up one day while I was gone.
She then, the same day, built her nest in the exact spot as last year.
Tearing down several feet of netting must have been really hard work for such a little bird.
She’s obviously very determined to do the things she wants, the way she wants to.
(I have something in common with her?)
If nature doesn’t intervene – we’ll have Black Phoebe babies at our house again this year.
Photo: My patio is lined with pink flowers for spring.
Flowers blooming everywhere –
And, Phoebe has a nest in our pool grotto.
Spring is definitely here.
Photo: Night view from my patio. (Test shot of Canon 5D Mark III night capabilities. 8000 ISO, handheld.)
If I wasn’t mid-flare-up, I’d have gotten in more shots with my camera over the weekend.
It’s frustrating to have a new toy, and not be able to play with it as much as I want.
(I need to be up to speed with it by next week’s Knotts Berry Farm shoot.)
Even with limited time to practice with it,
I can already definitely say this –
Photo: Mocha, my chocolate lab, and Doc, my golden retriever – dog napping.
If you need a full frame camera,
This one’s pretty damn amazing.
(That’s my “professional camera review” in a nutshell – pretty damn amazing!)
Now, if you’ll excuse me –
I’m going to go pop a few pain pills, sit on the couch, and watch some TV.