The Guilt of Being a Woman

I hope you had a nice weekend.

I started my weekend with  a Moscow Mule lunch on Friday.

What a great way to start off a weekend.

They’re such perfect summer/pool/beach drinks.  I think I’m officially on a Moscow Mule kick for the summer.

(They absolutely MUST be served in a chilled copper mug – copper has health benefits, therefore, a Moscow Mule is a health drink!)

I’m en route to San Francisco today.

As most of you already know, I’m married to a man who travels (for business) more than any other human being on the planet.

When he travels – he packs and goes.

He knows everything in his (and our family’s) life will be taken care of while he’s gone.

When I travel, I spend a week doing a lot of extra work so everyone and everything will “be okay” while I’m gone.

It’s exhausting.

I do laundry, water plants, go grocery shopping, cook ahead and freeze/or refrigerate food for my family (if I have time), I make sure I get gas in my car so whoever uses it in my absence doesn’t need to.  I go to the bank so I can leave emergency cash with my kids, the dishes have be done, the house cleaned, and blah, blah, blah until eternity.

No, I’m not OCD.

I’m just FEMALE.

[In addition, I try to have at least one blog post written before I leave.  (This is it!)  I also have to pack like a “normal” person, pack whatever camera equipment I’ll be needing (usually a lot), bring a laptop, make sure I have four bazilion chargers with me, figure out how I’m going to transport so much crap with one arm, etc., etc.]

After I’ve done everything I can possibly do, I STILL feel guilty for inconveniencing my family by not being there for them.

Don’t get me wrong,

I don’t feel guilty enough to NOT GO places … I was born with a restless soul.

(My mom tells me I was also born with a very independent soul.)

But, at the same time, there’s a constant little tug on my guilt strings.

I even worry about my temperamental/needs babying/please don’t forget to water it/I love it so much fucshia.

Pink Fuchsia

What are you like when you travel?

Do you clean/do laundry/etc. before you leave?

Can you walk out of your house without concerning yourself with it, or anyone in it, while you’re gone?

Or are you like me and feel like you “have to get everything done” before you can leave?

(Yes, I want to hear from my male readers too!)

7 Responses to “The Guilt of Being a Woman”

  1. tonya cinnamon

    i try t get as much as I can done if I have a lot of projects coming up but I cant I try to pay a friend to come help me clean. We get to see each other and she can make a bit of extra cash. Or I get my fiance to help me when hes not working and he doesnt mind 🙂

  2. Elaine

    I am just like you. And when my husband was alive, we’d go together, but I always cleaned like we may never be back. And the thought of someone else coming into my house with me gone was unbearable. My boss said she had a pact with a friend that if she (boss) left the house and somehow perished, that the friend would come and get all the kids and animals from the house, then burn it down so that her mother-in-law wouldn’t see what a disaster it was. Hope you enjoy your trip!

  3. Dorothy

    I do the dishes and laundry so I don’t have to come back to a mess. However, I still do – sigh. And it’s only me and my husband now. I leave food but he is responsible for making his own meals and feeding my cats. He’s a big boy. I am over the feeling guilty for grown people thing! Your family are grown people now too, right? Time for them to use those “I wish you would treat me like an adult!” skills!
    Yeah moms are the hub of the family but they need to appreciate you so if you go and leave them responsible, they might appreciate all you do when you get back! Maybe. :p LOL
    Have fun!

  4. Diane

    I’m just adamant about having all laundry done and the kitchen clean before I leave. Otherwise, he’s on his own. Guilt? Not one iota. Hope your fuschia survives without your love while you are away.

  5. Jan's Sushi Bar

    Saying I rarely travel alone (read: without the spouse) is something of an understatement. But I like to make sure the kid has somewhere to go, the dog is properly cared for (we have a great kennel), the laundry is done, the kitchen cleaned and the trash taken out. Those are my responsibilities – Beloved packs, which (since he also travels a great deal for business) he does exceedingly well. I rarely get somewhere and find that I don’t have a toothbrush or any of the necessary electronics.

  6. Tiziana

    When I travel it’s always with my husband. I make sure I clean the house and do the laundry, so that I don’t find a mess when I’m back. Part of me also wants to leave a clean house so that when family comes over to water plants and check on the house, they see a nice, tidy place.

    When my husband travels for work on his own, he tries to cook ahead and freeze food for me. He’s the one that does all the cooking, and knows that I’ll be surviving on sandwiches otherwise!

  7. Judi

    I’m leaving on a work trip in 2 weeks and I’ll be gone for 10 days. I’m already stressing about packing and about making sure there’s enough cat food and that hubby has his honey-do list before I go. I’ll be in three different states, but luckily will be able to do laundry halfway through at my brother’s house so maybe this will be the first time I don’t overpack (yeah, right). I start making a packing list a week ahead of time so I can check things off and not forget anything. I’ve been stuck without my contact case, pajamas, toothbrush….


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