Medical Anxiety

I’ll be giving away a variety of photography-related things on my photography page/blog this week.

You can click on the “Photography” tab each day in my navigation bar to see what’s new,

And/or you can subscribe to my photography feed.

Hint:  Today I’m giving away YOUR CHOICE of one of my gallery prints in a high gloss 8 x 12 float mounted METAL PRINT (valued at over $270)!


I apologize in advance, I’m not myself today ….

Do you ever have days/weeks when you feel like you’re getting bombarded with STUFF?

My head is swirling right now.

I hope you don’t mind if I jot down some of the randomness streaming through my brain –

Sometimes it helps just to write it out.

•  I’m fasting for today’s CAT scan.  It seems archaic to have to fast for a CAT scan.  Isn’t modern technology better than that?  (I can’t have an MRI because I have too much metal in my body.)

•  I’ve been instructed to drink 32 ounces of water an hour before the CAT scan and not pee.

•  Clearly, the radiologist doesn’t understand I’ve given birth to three kids.  I’m absolutely incapable of doing that.

•  I think I was incapable of that even before I gave birth to three children.

•  I wonder how long it takes to get the results of a CAT scan??

•  I’m supposed to fly to the east coast and back in the next week??

•  Have you ever tried to do something nice for the world and been shocked when someone views it with suspicion?

•  Yes, I am naive.

•  Self driving cars are now legal in California.  A Google Car would not have run a stop sign and hit me.

•  Self driving cars pay more attention to what they’re doing than most human drivers do.

•  Fresh rosemary from the garden makes the most wonderful smelling roast chicken.

•  Dr. Painless brought up the concept of further arm/shoulder surgeries yesterday.  It freaked me out.

•  A lot.

•  Of course, I rejected the idea.  I am d-o-n-e with surgeries.

•  I can’t un-hear his words though.  In fact, his words insist on repeating themselves inside my head, over and over again.

•  The mere suggestion sent me reeling.

•  I’m having a lot of medical anxiety this week.

•  Again, I apologize.

•  Hopefully, I’ll be more “together” tomorrow once the #$%&@  CAT scan is behind me.

11 Responses to “Medical Anxiety”

  1. karen

    I hate medical anxiety, boy do I know the nightmare of it. I hope all goes well.

    Can he guarantee that further surgeries will eliminate the pain you experience and give you back more mobility? Or is it just another crap shoot that might or might not do anything at all? would it eliminate all the extra metal you now have in your body?

    And I think it’s pretty awful when you do something nice for the world and someone twists it into something different. That’s their issue though, not yours. Don’t absorb it.

    • Suzanne

      You’re right … I need to remember it’s not my issue.
      You’d think I’d be used to it, writing a blog, etc. but ….

      No, of course, there are never any guarantees.
      It threw me at first, because I think I’ve finally begun accepting this is how I am (and will be) now. My last surgeon was a very good one. I think I’m as good as I’m going to get.

  2. joanne

    dont fuss about the water thing to much or they will cath you and fill you up from the other end. THAT my friend is not fun. Drink the water like a good girl and sit on it, or stand on your head, but dont get back-filled, it hurts

  3. Jenny in MN now in AZ

    Best of luck with the Water and Scan. I’ve had to do the over full bladder issue for a length of time too and I do remember being so uncomfortable and sooooo…. angry.

    I hope all your test results provide good news and answers to the questions they are researching.

    I somewhat understand the feeling of a suggestion of surgery. Granted I haven’t had nearly as many as you, but I remember putting my foot down and saying never again and getting the awful feeling in my stomach when the dr. said – yes…again. 🙁 Horrible feeling. So sorry you are living this right now.

    And where the hell have I been? Self driving cars exist? Good God – I work too much! How did I not know this? Did you know you would be such a wealth of information to your readers too?

    I’ll be thinking about you and sending you positive thoughts for all good stuff to start coming your way. Thank you again for sharing with us.

    • Suzanne

      Thank you!
      I hope the test results come back good too – and that there’s nothing serious wrong.

      I think I have anti-surgery issues.

      Yes, self driving cars! I’ve met a lot of Google people through photography so I was probably more aware of the self driving cars than some people. Such a great concept! Leave it to Google!

  4. Jan's Sushi Bar

    32 ounces of water an hour before, and don’t pee? Are you going to have someone carry you into the CAT scan? I know I wouldn’t be able to walk under such circumstances.

    I’m sorry about the medical anxiety. I hope the CAT scan shows that your appendix has decided to calm down and behave itself. (((Suzanne)))

    • Suzanne

      I hope so too.

      I made it through the CAT scan, but I almost wet my pants driving home afterwards. : )

  5. Denise

    Oh lordy, I have had ultrasounds that required I drink what felt like 50 gallons of water. That is the absolutely worst thing as you sit waiting for your turn. You drove home without peeing? Good grief, girl, that sounds horrible.

    • Suzanne

      Yeah …
      That was stupid of me.
      Also …?
      There were no bathrooms to stop at a good part of the drive or I would have made a pit stop! : )

  6. Ed

    I would avoid another surgery unless a team of experts could GUARANTEE complete success. You’ve been through way too much already.


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