Things I’ve Said (Out Loud!) In The Last Few Days

Sometimes, often times, I can’t believe the things that come out of my mouth.

In the last few days, I’ve uttered the following words:

•  This isn’t your frat house, please remember to put the toilet seat down.

•  Next time, replace the empty TP roll so your mother isn’t left stranded.

•  Clean up your room, I don’t want to find another scorpion in your laundry basket.

•  You’re making me feel things no one has ever made me feel before.  (Said to Paul Newman ….)

•  Andy Warhol wants to be my friend.

•  It was a relief to only have 500 email messages.

•  I like it funky.  The funkier, the better!

•  He talks a lot once he’s got me on my back.  (Said about Paul Newman.)

•  No, I don’t paint my photographs.  They are photographs.

•  Those dishes won’t do themselves.  (I’ve turned into my mom?!!)

•  I’m sorry.  High school DOES suck.

•  It’s freezing here!  I’m worried about the orange tree.  Yes, 64 degrees!

•  Really?  This isn’t your frat house.

•  I can’t wait to tell you what your surprise is!

 [ Insert name of famous actor ]  gave you what?  What does he want?

•  Would you mind lifting the feather duster for me?

•  It’s Turkey Chili, what did you think it was?

•  Sure, I’d be happy to invite you to MySpace.

•  Yes, it hurts … but in a Hurts-So-Good way.  I kinda like it.

•  I would if I could, but I already have my fingers in too many people’s pies.

2 Responses to “Things I’ve Said (Out Loud!) In The Last Few Days”

  1. Jan's Sushai Bar

    I actually heard myself saying, “Stop torturing the dog – what do you think this place is, Gitmo?!” the other day. It’s funnier when you realize I was saying it to my 3-year-old grandson.


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