The Joys of Termite Fumigation

I want to thank all of you for the emails and comments regarding termite fumigation.

I haven’t had a chance to respond to all of the messages yet, but I’ve definitely read them.

You would think an invasion of swarming termites would be a very serious occasion,

But apparently I don’t.

(Also?  Everyone I know in Southern California has, seemingly, gone through a termite fumigation at some point in their lives!)

Granted, I’m swearing as I pack up my entire house in an effort to avoid being poisoned.

But?

The Termite Man thinks I’m hilarious.

He also thinks I’m overly concerned about dying a horrible chemical death.

“You really have nothing to worry about!” he reassures me for the zillionth time.

“What happens to any other bugs (besides termites) that happen to be in our house?” I ask him.

“They all die.  The gas sucks the oxygen completely out of your house and replaces it with poison.  Everything dies.  Except for Daddy Long Leg type spiders.  Their bodies shut down completely for about three days and then they come back to life.  But don’t worry because they’re GOOD bugs to have.”

Blink.

Blink.

Thoughts of Zombie Daddy Long Leg Spiders horrify me speechless for a few moments.

“And you say it’s okay to fry an egg on our pans, post-fumigation, without washing them first?”

Laughter.

“How many of your customer’s have died in the last few years?” I ask him in all seriousness.

More laughter.

“No one has died.  Dead customers don’t make for good referrals.”

“Seriously.  How many have DIED?”

More laughter.

“What about theft?  I hear thieves sometimes target homes being fumigated?”

“Well, we take care of that.  We also fill the house with tear gas.”

“You DO WHAT?????”

“Tear gas.  No one is going to want to be in your house.”

“I do.  I want to be in my house.”

“It’s okay.  The tear gas will be gone when you come back.”

Pause.

“What about lotions?  And make-up?  And stuff like that?”

“You don’t have to worrry about it unless it’s something you swallow.”

Snort!

Peels of laughter.

“No, seriously!” he adds.

“So, it’s okay for toxic chemicals to be absorbed through my skin as long as I don’t digest them?” I ask.

He sighs.

And?

On and on it (I?) went.

I *am* double bagging and sealing all the items I’ve been instructed to … and a few others, just in case.

I am making sure the house is locked and has multiple forms of additional security in place for the hours I have to be out of the house.

(Not that I own anything super valuable anyway.  My camera will be with me and that is really my only prized possession.)

I have also asked a cleaning service to come help post-fumigation.

If I had two fully working arms, I wouldn’t have.

But?

Even though I’ve been assured it’s “perfectly fine” to sleep on toxic sheets ….

I will not be comfortable until all the sheets and towels have been changed/washed.

And the counters and floors cleaned.

It’s a lot of work for a two-armed person … and more than I can do with just one arm.

Now, if you’ll excuse me,

I’m going to go back to bagging, and double-bagging, and re-bagging my belongings.

Sigh!

The joys of home ownership!

8 Responses to “The Joys of Termite Fumigation”

  1. Diane

    Did you have signs of termites that made you decide to have it fumigated or are you putting your house on the market for sale? Generally termite issues come up during a home inspection. Just being nosey. xox

    • Suzanne

      We are preparing to have the outside of the house painted. We noticed an area we thought might be termite damage on our wood deck. Such a pain …!
      : )

  2. Jan's Sushai Bar

    Yeah, well, none of that will keep those pesky meth cooks out of your house.

    Yeah…I’ve been watching too much Breaking Bad

  3. WebSavvyMom

    –>Do you watch Breaking Bad? In an earlier season, they used houses being tented to cook meth. Increase security! 🙂

    deb

    • Suzanne

      I remember that!
      I’m not expecting anything nearly as exciting to happen though!
      (Hopefully!)

  4. Julie in Michigan

    Does anyone that drives by know your home is being fumigated? How long do you have to vacate for?
    I’d love to come and help you clean!

    • Suzanne

      The whole process is done very quickly. Yes, if someone drives by they’ll see the house tented. It’s very common here … you see them all the time in Southern California. I’ll have a little more information once it actually gets going!

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