I want to thank all of you for the emails and comments regarding termite fumigation.
I haven’t had a chance to respond to all of the messages yet, but I’ve definitely read them.
You would think an invasion of swarming termites would be a very serious occasion,
But apparently I don’t.
(Also? Everyone I know in Southern California has, seemingly, gone through a termite fumigation at some point in their lives!)
Granted, I’m swearing as I pack up my entire house in an effort to avoid being poisoned.
The Termite Man thinks I’m hilarious.
He also thinks I’m overly concerned about dying a horrible chemical death.
“You really have nothing to worry about!” he reassures me for the zillionth time.
“What happens to any other bugs (besides termites) that happen to be in our house?” I ask him.
“They all die. The gas sucks the oxygen completely out of your house and replaces it with poison. Everything dies. Except for Daddy Long Leg type spiders. Their bodies shut down completely for about three days and then they come back to life. But don’t worry because they’re GOOD bugs to have.”
Thoughts of Zombie Daddy Long Leg Spiders horrify me speechless for a few moments.
“And you say it’s okay to fry an egg on our pans, post-fumigation, without washing them first?”
“How many of your customer’s have died in the last few years?” I ask him in all seriousness.
“No one has died. Dead customers don’t make for good referrals.”
“Seriously. How many have DIED?”
“What about theft? I hear thieves sometimes target homes being fumigated?”
“Well, we take care of that. We also fill the house with tear gas.”
“You DO WHAT?????”
“Tear gas. No one is going to want to be in your house.”
“I do. I want to be in my house.”
“It’s okay. The tear gas will be gone when you come back.”
“What about lotions? And make-up? And stuff like that?”
“You don’t have to worrry about it unless it’s something you swallow.”
Peels of laughter.
“No, seriously!” he adds.
“So, it’s okay for toxic chemicals to be absorbed through my skin as long as I don’t digest them?” I ask.
On and on it (I?) went.
I *am* double bagging and sealing all the items I’ve been instructed to … and a few others, just in case.
I am making sure the house is locked and has multiple forms of additional security in place for the hours I have to be out of the house.
(Not that I own anything super valuable anyway. My camera will be with me and that is really my only prized possession.)
I have also asked a cleaning service to come help post-fumigation.
If I had two fully working arms, I wouldn’t have.
Even though I’ve been assured it’s “perfectly fine” to sleep on toxic sheets ….
I will not be comfortable until all the sheets and towels have been changed/washed.
And the counters and floors cleaned.
It’s a lot of work for a two-armed person … and more than I can do with just one arm.
Now, if you’ll excuse me,
I’m going to go back to bagging, and double-bagging, and re-bagging my belongings.
The joys of home ownership!