Yesterday, I visited with Dr. Painless.
He loaded me up with drugs to take on my upcoming travel-binge “just in case” my arm flares-up.
My arm flares up every time I travel, but neither of us came right out and stated the obvious.
Dr. Painless loves to travel and we often spend a good deal of time chatting about our dream travel destinations.
I love how he has always, always, encouraged me to live the fullest life I can in spite of my physical limitations.
A little later in the day, I texted Paul Newman because I hadn’t heard from him since he got back from vacation.
His silence was a very curious thing.
(We all know, I’d be the first person he’d get in touch with upon his return – right?)
Turns out, Paul Newman is not back.
I’m sure he loved hearing from me while he’s on vacation though?
(And especially when I responded to his catastrophic still-on-vacation information with a text message beginning with the eff word?)
Paul Newman works very, very, hard and he certainly deserves a break from work.
I’m pretty sure his secretary, who scheduled my appointment, needs a vacation too.
(Actually, ahem, I think Paul Newman recently gave her a permanent vacation due to some ongoing … scheduling issues.)
But, alas, now I know ….
Paul Newman will return after I have left on my trip …
Which means my arm will explode and fall off my body any day now.
I will have to cart my arm around in a suitcase, attached to my body by a painful string, for several weeks.
Eventually, someday ….
In a land far away,
Paul Newman will be reunited with my arm and be forced to reattach it to my body.
It will not be a fun day for him, for me, or for my arm.
I admit, I felt a big jolt of discouragement when I found out I will have to go so long without treatment.
It comes from knowing what happens when I even skip *one* week.
One visit in seven weeks means …??????
Deep breaths, right?
I can do this?
And if I can’t, I’ve got a suitcase full of Dr. Painless drugs available.
I suppose I can drug myself into oblivion until my arm gets reattached.
Why do I have to be the only person in the world who absolutely hates pain meds?
For that matter, why do I have to be the only person in the world with a (very painful) detachable arm?