When Life Gets Complicated …

Some details in today’s post have been changed to provide a *mysterious* cloak of anonymity.

I’m sorry there was no post yesterday.

I’ve had a very rocky start to my week.

Just when you think you know where you stand,

Someone comes along and pulls the rug right out from under you.

Or me.

(This week it was, most definitely, me.)

I had “topics” and “subjects” and frivolous crap to write about this week.

But …?

I just can’t today.

I’m still trying to get my feet back on the ground from the unexpected shock of falling on my ass.

Also ..?

My car accident anniversary is tomorrow and I think it’s easier to knock me off my perch this time of year.

Bad anniversaries are such a weird thing.

Logically, I don’t see any reason for an accident date to have significance.

But, in reality …?

I find I’m more emotional, not sleeping, a bit anxious, etc.

I start wondering why I’m having all these *feelings* and then I realize it’s almost the day.

My subconscious never forgets?

Okay enough of my tangent,

Let’s talk about stupid things people say.

Who left the bag of idiots open?  (Not my quote.  I don’t know the author, but I love it!)

For instance, a random guy with a camera insulted me online this week.

He had never seen a single one of my photos, but he insulted me as a photographer anyway.

(He saw a comment I made online in a conversation about gear and responded without knowing who I am or what I do for a living.)

He even sent me a link so I might be inspired to better my photography by seeing his photos.

By the way, I DID look at his photos and they were technically and aesthetically horrible.

I think he’s just a random guy with a camera – not even a devoted hobbyist.


It seems to be my week to be insulted.

I was also informed I’m old and unattractive by someone who will not be named.

(Thank you – it felt so nice to have that VERBALIZED to my face!)

I also hit my head really hard on the (very male dominated) glass ceiling in the photography world this week.

“This is not at all personal, but since you’re a woman you won’t be invited.  Some of the wives would be uncomfortable if a female was there.”

So, in other words, if I had a penis this wouldn’t be a discussion?

What year is this … 1950?

Or 2015?

It gets so confusing sometimes.


12 Responses to “When Life Gets Complicated …”

  1. Michelle

    Hope your week improves. Maybe the negative stuff just is more obvious around this week/date on a more concious level. And obviously the ‘old and unattractive’ commenter was in need of glasses and a better attitude day. You are so *not* old and unattractive!

    • Suzanne

      Thank you, but you know how it is.
      The negative comments always have more of an impact than positive ones.
      I’m not sure why that is …
      In any case, I’m feeling pretty old and unattractive this week.
      The crying doesn’t help for a pretty face …

  2. Denise

    Sometimes we have days like that, where everything seems to go right to that place in our minds that feels hurtful somehow. I read that thread on FB and that guy seemed to be only interested in showing TH how much he knew about gear and suggesting that TH change gear. Good grief, what a ridiculous person. So it wasn’t about you at all. And who tells someone they are old and unattractive? I don’t know. You are lovely and talented and yes, working in a male dominated profession. It’s not going to change any time soon. Still sucks, I know.

    I woke up yesterday and read online about the lion being killed, and also about a 15-year-old boy being arrested for killing the 8-year-old girl in Santa Cruz. It bothered me all day long, still does. When things touch us to our core, it just means we care.

    This week too shall pass. Sending you a hug.

    • Suzanne

      Yep, the guy commenting was just a random asshat.
      He did, however, make it about me when he said something along the lines of – I could someday hope to be a good photographer. Then, of course, he linked to his own (poor) images as an example.
      If that was the only thing that happened this week I would have laughed it off.
      It’s just when things start piling up that I begin feeling bombarded.

      I think about corporate america and how, in this day and age, they would not *think* to blacklist someone from an event based on gender. And yet, it’s common place in photography. And the “wives” who might feel uncomfortable? IMHO they need to GROW UP. If your husband is going to cheat on you, all the controlling behavior in the world isn’t going to stop him. In fact, it probably increases the chance he’ll cheat. Would you tell a spouse to stay away from the opposite sex every day as they head off to a corporate office? No, of course not.

      Also, if your husband is a cheater why do women not have enough self esteem/self respect to leave? Why don’t they understand they deserve better? And no, all men don’t cheat. And/or if you really can’t trust your spouse? Then what you have is not a marriage but a charade. Either way? It has nothing to do with ME.

      (Not relevant, but I have yet to meet a photographer I’d want to have sex with. So why am I the one who gets “punished” by being excluded?)

      As for Santa Cruz – it makes me ill. And the lion … almost more so. But this entire reply is turning into a blog post so I’ll stop now ….

  3. Julie J

    People can be so cruel. Keep your chin up Suzanne, this week will get better. And, you are in fact not old and unattractive by any means!! (apparently some people need to go get their eyes examined)

    • Suzanne

      Thank you for the positive comment.
      Maybe I’ll dance around my backyard dancing to “Shake It Off.”
      Ha ha!
      : )

  4. Missy Stalcup

    Sorry you’re having a crappy week. Mine was off to a great start with our spontanous “Fred” meet and greet! My co-workers loved meeting him so thanks again for stopping by.

    • Suzanne

      I’m so glad you finally got to meet Fred.
      He enjoyed his visit immensely!

  5. Mj

    It is a fact that when ‘people’, young or adult blatantly insult others it is a sign of weakness in them or they view the person they are degrading as a threat.
    Don’t let the idiots of this world keep you down. Keep your head up and look the world straight in the eye and finish strong!

    • Suzanne

      Thank you.
      I know the negativity this week was not “about” me.
      I was just in the firing line and there has been a lot of it.
      Hopefully, it just means there will be all sorts of positive things coming up to balance it out.

  6. Jenny

    Well, you are not old and unattractive and perhaps that person has REALLY bad taste. AND wow, RUDE!

    Not invited due to lack of penis because the wives may not like it? Really? Perhaps the person telling you this should pull their head out of their ass?! Business is business and you can not control other people’s thoughts or actions. Apparently there are a lot of men in this group or just the person you were communicating with that have some very insecure wives and that probably means the husbands may have done something stupid to deserve such a lack of trust in their relationships. Good grief! Well, I guess you are meant for bigger and better and greater things to spend your time on instead of being with the idiots.

    I hope your week gets better – I’m kinda feeling like the universe is tilting sideways on some things for me too and I just keep shaking my head and am hoping things will shift again…

  7. Suzanne

    Yes, I think you’re probably right.
    Someone must have done something stupid and lost the trust of their spouse.
    Not my problem, and yet it is affecting me.

    It does seem like the universe has been tilting lately.
    Hopefully, things go back to normal for both of us soon.


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