I got some bad news yesterday.
I’ve been told I should *not* feel devastated until more information is gathered.
So, I’m pretending to not be upset even though I can feel a black cloud looming overhead.
My arm has been exceptionally bad for about a week and a half.
For several years, my bum arm has been fine from the elbow down.
And my right HAND has always worked fine.
But, over the last ten days I’ve been in a lot of pain and not able to do anything with my right arm.
Holding something very light in my right hand has become impossible.
It has been “new” pain and “different” pain.
And yes, there really is a whole rainbow assortment of TYPES OF PAIN.
Yesterday, at physical therapy, Paul Newman discovered a very unnatural HOLE in my arm.
The hole is covered by skin, but instead of a normal smooth arm there is a sudden, significant, HOLE right under my skin.
Paul Newman was alarmed because he knows every bit of my arm as well (or better) than I do.
The hole in my arm is NEW.
(Yes, you heard that right, Paul Newman discovered and explored my mystery hole yesterday.)
There could be more than one explanation for the hole in my arm, but none of them are good.
I’m meeting with my orthopedic surgeon this morning to get his opinion on this new (bad) development.
(He’s totally awesome and is seeing me right away!)
It’s very possible I have torn and/or ruptured “something” in my bum arm.
How would I do this?
Well, since my arm has many non-working parts, the working parts of my arm have to compensate for the non-working ones.
The working parts of my arm are, therefore, under a lot of constant/ongoing stress due to overuse.
I ask the working parts to work HARD and to do things they are not designed to do.
If I have a muscle and/or tendon tear/rupture it’s most likely inoperable.
That means ….?
I *might* be like this forever …?
I *might* have lost the little bit of use of my arm/hand I had …?
I don’t want to even consider the possibility of this new/different/higher level of pain being permanent.
Of COURSE this had to happen the day before my family begins arriving for Thanksgiving.
Paul Newman is trying to talk me off the ledge by telling me I need to talk to my surgeon before flipping out.
My surgeon is trying to talk me off the ledge by seeing me quickly, and telling me there could be more than one cause for this new calamity.
My family is trying to talk me off the ledge by offering to help cook for Thanksgiving.
I might know more after seeing my orthopedic surgeon this morning.
Or he might want to schedule an MRI before he gives his opinion?
Regardless, I’ll let you know once I learn more.
In the meantime,
I’m chanting quietly, “Do not cry, do not cry, do not cry!”
I can get through anything, right?
** Twenty Four At Heart will be down for maintenance, off and on, over the weekend. **