And The Beat Goes On?

I’ve been lost in the limbo of insurance land.

It’s now been over two weeks since my bum arm tore/ripped/ruptured/detached.

And, still I wait.

Any minute now (??) I should get insurance approval for the two MRIs I will need to figure out what is going on.

I wonder how many people die, for avoidable medical reasons, each year while waiting on their insurance companies?

Not that my situation is nearly that dire, I’m just in PAIN and have loss of FUNCTION.

I’ve spent countless hours talking to medical/insurance people who need to talk to people the last few days.

Meanwhile, I think maybe the pain has deceased a little?

Or, more likely, I’ve just learned to sit very still, breathe softly, and not move at all for days at a time.

(And yet, I’m SO tired.  Pain is brutal.  It just zaps away energy at an alarming rate.)

I’ve learned if the gaping hole in my arm is the result of a muscle tear/rupture nothing can be done.

“Muscle can’t be sewn,” said my doctor.

I asked if it will heal on its own and he said, “It might scar-in a little bit.”

If *something* has detached … there’s a *possibility* (??) it can be reattached … with, of course, a questionable outcome.

Apparently there’s a major, scary, nerve right in the way?

It sounds like I’m screwed either way?

And so, I wait.

I think about all sorts of things.

If nothing can be done, will the pain decrease over time?

Can I find ways to “manage” given the complete useless state of my arm?

Will there be a way to take photos again?

Do I need to hire someone to complete Fred’s training for me?

Will my trip to New Zealand be impacted –

Either by surgery.

Or by pain.

Or by an inability to photograph all the things I was going to New Zealand to photograph.


How will I get through the rest of 2015 … with all of the holiday things to do?

I’ve also learned there are orthopedic doctors who *specialize* in trauma to the arm/shoulder/upper extremities.

They’re trained to repair body parts which have exploded due to car accidents, gunshots, and other horrible things.

I love my orthopedic surgeon.

I’ve known him forever.

But, maybe I should also consult with an orthopedic arm trauma specialist?

Maybe someone like that will have seen/treated something similar to the disaster that is my arm?

Who knew a specialty like that even existed?

But, maybe it isn’t even necessary.

One day at a time, right?

First, I need my insurance company to get the MRIs approved so I know what I’m dealing with.

Deep breath … and a sigh.


6 Responses to “And The Beat Goes On?”

  1. Michelle

    Praying you hear soon! And that it is repairable. And I don’t know what to do with your surgeon, maybe ask him what he thinks?

    On a good note, my hubby’s arm (torn distal bicep tendon) is healing really well, and he can drive himself again (as of Monday) YAY! And gently back to work Friday. Apparently they can take up to 18 months to get full function/strength back, but the surgeon said he is doing really well, and it may only take 6 months. He can only lift 2kg though at the moment.

    • Suzanne

      That’s great news on your husband.
      I hope the rest of his recovery goes smoothly!

  2. Denise

    Insurance companies are the worst. Keeping people in pain and worry for long periods while they run their numbers to decide what they’ll allow? It’s beyond words. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this.
    I’m dealing with some shoulder/rib pain that is nagging at me. I cannot imagine what you’re living with. I hope you get answers today and can start to move down the path toward healing. Hugs.

  3. Missy Stalcup

    So sorry you are suffering with this pain and the unknown outcome. Keep breathing.


Comments are closed.