I’ve been busy looking at model homes (and more model homes, and then – even MORE model homes).
No, I’m not moving.
I’m just trying to get ideas for a possible home remodel.
My house is old and needs some major (!!) work.
It’s overwhelming – I really don’t even know where to begin.
I wish I could just wave a magic wand and come back to a completed house.
(Or have someone bulldoze the entire house and rebuild it the way I want … in a week?)
I’ve also begun making time to take a few photos each day.
I’m trying to build my arm strength up so when I get the “get out of jail” card from my surgeon (probably in May?) I’ll be able to hold my camera.
The other day I brought home some beautiful pink hydrangeas and decided I’d take a few macro shots of them.
It’s an easy-ish workout for my arm because I can do it at home without hauling any gear.
Of course, there are some other … complications … which frequently develop when working from home.
Frank The Newf was obsessed with smelling the flowers!
Frank didn’t want to stop smelling the flowers.
Apparently, they’re Newfie-Nose-Delightful!
Here’s one of the completed photos:
Macro photo of pink hydrangeas.
I also shot some craspedia flowers.
They’re ball-like flowers.
Craspedia Flowers – aka: billy buttons or woolyheads
Craspedia were a LOT of fun to shoot.
There are so many funky abstracts you can make out of them.
I’m going to print the above photo BIG … it will look awesome!
Paul Newman and I are ALSO continuing to work on getting me stronger.
I’m trying to adjust my expectations to be a little more realistic.
But, not many people go eleven years without using their arm …
Which means I have no one to compare myself to.
Am I failing?
Will I ever get there?
And where is THERE …
And what does THERE mean?
Paul Newman has more patience than I do, but maybe that’s because he understands the process better than I do.
I’m **trying** to learn patience.
It’s a roller coaster process.
I accomplish something NEW and I feel like I can conquer the world.
“Look! Look! I held a ONE POUND weight!!”
It’s pretty exciting to do something, even a small something, if you haven’t been able to do it for eleven years!
But then …?
The next day I’m in a lot of pain and regress.
I struggle, and fail, and get really mad at myself.
Getting an arm to work after 11 years is not a NORMAL process.
I’m happy because I *think* I’m headed in the right direction.
I feel like a one year old learning to walk.
I take a step, fall, and try again.
Sometimes I take two steps in one day.
Other days I walk backwards instead of forward.
I’m tentative even on a good day.
There are a lot of uncertainties and fears after all these years.
Anyone who’s ever met me knows there’s also a lot of determination and stubbornness.
And, my camera …?
It’s calling my name, begging me to return to it full time.