Twenty Four At Heart

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Announcing: A Return to Being ME

Posted on February 7, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

In case you missed it: Last week, I announced I’m planning a road trip to come visit you! Do you want to meet me? Click here for details.

Funky things are going on in my life …

Some of it’s very exciting.

Some of it’s worrisome.

Some of it’s sad.

Some of it’s – just bizarre.

For instance,

Right now I’m FASTING.

Later today I’m getting a BRAZILIAN BIKINI WAX.

Those two things?

They’re not related at all.

In case you just landed here from some other planet.

FASTING means eating absolutely nothing.

(I’m allowed/encouraged to drink water – which is very generous of Whoever Makes The Rules, don’t ya think?)

I’m fasting because I’m having a “pre-op” physical today. (More info to follow sometime in the near future.)

The whole fasting thing pisses me off – or maybe I’m just hungry?

And don’t worry – I’m perfectly fine.

(To be completely honest, I’m very annoyed – but I’m fine.)

BRAZILIAN BIKINI WAX means having my lady bits waxed until I’m one hundred percent bare down there.

I get waxed every four weeks whether I need it or not.

Too much information??

I don’t know why these two events are scheduled on the same day,

It probably was a very bad idea.

Low blood sugar and hot wax on my cooter might not be the best combination.

(Although, I have to admit, the big riiiiiiiip is a lot worse than the hot wax. After all, a little warmth is a good thing – right?)

As long as I’m rambling,

(Which I’m blaming entirely on FASTING ….)

I want to get something off my chest today.

I have stories inside me.

In fact, I have stories I can’t seem NOT to write.

Most of these stories “in waiting” are true.

Some of these stories “in waiting” are based on truth.

A few of these stories “in waiting” are one hundred percent figments of my imagination.

They need to be told so I can get them out of my head.

For the last few months,

I’ve been self-censoring my writing.

I’ve been doing this for several reasons.

For one,

I’ve been a little intimidated by the sudden interest in my photography by so many “new” people.

Bikes are one of my favorite photography subjects.

Truthfully, I got some flak about 24 from someone I perceived as Having Some Importance In the Photography World.

I reacted to it by trying to be a more reserved, more adult, version of myself.

What would happen if Important/Famous Photographers came over to 24 only to see me writing about my latest Brazilian bikini wax?

They might be offended and dismiss my photography as being horrible, bad, pagan – or whatever.

What if they expect me to act like …

I don’t know -

Maybe a grown-up?

Does my highly offensive personality mean I take bad photos?

Can’t my bad photos take credit all on their own?

(By the way, I’ve come to realize – the Important/Famous Photographers I respect the most, like me the way I am.)

It’s taken me my entire life to realize,

My personality is based in the creative.

I’ve never thought of myself as being a creative-type person until very recently.

I’ve realized,

I HAVE TO let my creativity out, or feel like I’m going to explode.

It takes so much energy to NOT be yourself.

I have to take photos the way I want to take them – whether anyone likes/approves/appreciates them or not.

I have to.

I have to write whatever’s in my head -

Whether anyone likes/approves/appreciates my “stories” or not.

I realize I’m not for everyone.

In fact, it’s probably safe to say, I’m not for most people.

I don’t want to be.

I just want to feel free to be myself – here, and in my photography.

I don’t think I’ve ever “fit in” anywhere -

Ever.

In my entire life.

Why start now?

(P.S. Spell-check is telling me cooter is not a real word. WTF?)

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I Was Propositioned

Posted on February 6, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

In case you missed it: Last week I announced I’m planning a road trip to come visit you! Do you want to meet me? Click here for details.

I had a funny thing happen ….

One day, I was down at the beach with my camera.

(Shocking, I know – right?)

No Lifeguard On Duty.

I was taking landscape photos when I noticed a group of surfers noticing me.

I’m sure what they were really noticing, was my camera.

People often think I’m a reporter, or someone very important, because I have a professional looking camera.

The surfers kept glancing my way.

Almost immediately, they started showing off for me.

(You’d be surprised how often people ham it up when they see a camera!)

I took a couple shots of them.

Eventually they got out of the water and wandered over. They wanted to chat, to ask questions about photography, etc.

I explained, I’m really no one important.

They clearly enjoyed the idea of posing for me anyway.

A few of them went back in the water to show off some more.

I suppose, it was a misguided attempt to impress me.

Maybe they thought I’d get an amazing shot and they’d become famous surfing legends.

(Don’t laugh – there’s a lot of surfers in California who want to be/go pro.)

There was one particular surfer who was obviously Leader of the Pack. He was very outspoken about everything.

He told me outright, he’d like his photo taken.

He was bold, with an overabundance of confidence, and looked to be about the age of my oldest son.

(By “overabundance of confidence,” I mean he came off extremely conceited.)

I took a few more photos, mainly just to humor them.

I eventually thanked the group for the shots and announced it was time for me to leave.

Leader of the Pack asked for my business card so he could contact me to see the photos in a few days.

I gave it to him, not thinking twice.

The entire encounter was not much different than many others I’ve had.

What happened next, was the shocker.

Leader of the Pack pulled me aside and asked if I’d like to stay and have sex with him.

(One of my girlfriends told me she would have given anything to have seen my face at that moment.)

“What???” I asked.

“Sex?” he repeated, sincerely. His inquisitive, very young, eyes probed mine.

(Did I just say probed???)

“You want to have sex?” I sputtered.

Calmly he said, “Well?”

“I’m married,” I said hurriedly. And then I, pretty much, ran away.

I was flustered and confused by his unexpected invitation. I didn’t know what else to do.

Ok, well – technically, I DID know what to do.

I just didn’t want to do it with a total stranger.

Hours later, I was still trying to convince myself I’d heard wrong.

He surely couldn’t have calmly, nonchalantly, asked me for sex?!

Strangers don’t just walk up and ask strangers to do it.

Also, I’m pretty sure he could have gone to high school with my oldest son.

Young BOYS don’t ask middle aged frumpy women for sex.

I know there are a lot of cougars in Orange County,

But REALLY??

One of my friends looked at the photos of Leader of the Pack and thought he was very hot.

“His approach has obviously worked for him before,” she told me.

Am I really THAT naive?

I’d like to say I never heard from him again,

But I did.

He sent me emails me for about two weeks.

He invited me to his apartment, repeatedly.

I only responded to his first email.

I sent him the best shot I took of him surfing. In that same email, I asked him how old he was.

He responded saying he’s eighteen.

EIGHTEEN!!!

Then he asked again,

“Would you like to come visit my apartment? I’d like to make you dinner.”

I didn’t reply.

Not then,

And not to any of the other emails he sent.

(Eventually he stopped sending them.)

And yes,

I DO have a photo of him.

And no,

I will not be publishing it on 24.

(However, I might bring it with me on Road Trip 24 if you really want to see it.)

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Sunset on the Pier

Posted on February 5, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

I love piers.

I love walking on them.

I love walking under them.

I could (and have) photographed them for hours.

I never get tired of it.

Whenever I see a pier I feel compelled to explore it,

Even if I’ve seen that exact pier time and time again.

The San Clemente pier. Orange County, California

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Winter at the Vineyards

Posted on February 4, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

Most people visit wine country in the fall, during harvest.

Some people like to visit in the spring when the vineyards are green, and full, with new growth.

Winter -

Especially a winter weekend when a “huge” storm was predicted, found the vines pruned and barren.

It didn’t hamper the fun of my visit.

In fact,

I thought the lonely was absolutely beautiful.

Winter at the vineyards. (January – California, Central Coast.)

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Announcing Road Trip 24!

Posted on February 3, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

I’ve got a wild hare about venturing out to meet some of you. (I also happen to have really wild HAIR today!)

No, I’m not inviting myself to be your house guest. (I’ll stay in cheap hotels because they provide roaches, awkward toilet paper, and great blog fodder.)

But …

I’ve got a yearning to do a little traveling.

As much as I’d love to visit some of you who live outside the United States, it isn’t really in the budget to travel internationally right now. (What budget? asks my husband.)

I will confess, however, I have a tentative plan to visit both Australia and New Zealand in late 2013 or early 2014. I’ve had dreams of an extended Australia/New Zealand trip for years!

I think my recent trip up the coast gave me a severe case of Travel Bug-itis!

Window view of the Bacara Resort, north of Santa Barbara.

To begin,

My friend, Nike, and I are planning a trip to San Francisco (and surrounding areas) around the first weekend in March. (We’re still working out the details, but the trip is ON.)

I do have things I need to attend to during part of my time up north, but I’d love to meet any of you who are available.

Also, some of you have written to me and suggested you live in an ideal place for me to fulfill my bucket-list wish to see fireflies.

Seeing a firefly is my biggest goal for the summer of 2012.

I’ve gone my whole life and never seen a firefly – something’s got to change, right?

If you’re serious about sharing your fireflies with me – let me know, and let’s see if we can pick a date to make it happen.

Where else am I going to visit?

I don’t know yet – that’s where you come in.

I’ll be going to locations I can either drive to, or locations I can (hopefully) use “free miles” to fly to. (“Free miles” are probably available in most areas of the U.S., thanks to my husband’s extensive business travel.)

I imagine most of my trips will be weekend, or long weekend, trips.

I’ll be trying to get some good photography time, meet a few readers, and (I’m sure) have a few fun adventures.

(If you invite me to visit your location, you won’t have to entertain me the entire time I’m there. I’m very good at exploring new places on my own. I’ll also, most definitely, want some time out-and-about with my camera.)

I’ll be blogging about, and sharing photos of, my Road Trip 24 adventures.

How often will I be venturing out?

My goal is to do a mini-trip every four to six weeks – depending on how much my real life needs me. (Or how many trips I can get out of “free” miles?)

So ….

If you want me to visit:

• Let me know I’m (really/sincerely) invited.

• Let me know some dates/or the best time to come: June for fireflies/July for Fireworks/May for misty river photography/Halloween for the neighborhood block party, etc.

• Give me a general idea of why I should pick your location: Food!/Wine!/Fireflies!/Cows!/Beaches!/Farm land!/Photo Walk Scheduled/Etc.

I can hardly wait!

Remember – one trip is already scheduled: I’ll be in the San Francisco area the first weekend in March!

Now it’s your turn ….

Should I come visit YOU??

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Tales From an Orange County Gym

Posted on February 2, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

Well, you knew it was coming -

Tales from my new physical therapy facility …!

As background, I should explain, I’m actually going to an Orange County gym for my physical therapy appointments.

The Neanderthal rents space from a gym – which is not conveniently located to my home.

People who get hurt while working out at the gym (pulled/sore muscles/minor injuries), often stop in to get help for their pain from The Neanderthal.

In turn, as patients finish up physical therapy with The Neanderthal (for surgeries or more serious injuries),

They’re encouraged to become active at the gym.

How could I NOT have stories when I’m now hanging out at a gym?

(In The OC, of all places …!)

As Orange County gyms go, this particular facility is a very basic, no-frills place. (Many of the gyms here are spa-like.)

It’s a We-Don’t-Fuck-Around-Here, hard body, gym. The majority of people who go there are extremely serious about having perfect bodies.

They don’t get fit just to have a healthy lifestyle -

Getting fit, and more fit, and even more fit is their lifestyle.

I, obviously, don’t “fit” in, at all.

Har dee har har!!

I crack myself up!

Anyway -

Proving sex is always on everybody’s minds -

Titled: With Lips Like Yours

When you look at the above photo – do you think fountain? Or fish? Or sex? Or, as one G+ viewer told me, oral sex?

Here are a few entertaining recent tidbits from the gym:

• Overheard A married man talking about a much younger (attractive) woman: I don’t have a crush on her. Just because I want to violate her in every way possible, doesn’t mean I have a crush.

• Overheard A man, sounding very disappointed: You mean her tits are fake? They aren’t even that big! I’ve been staring at them for months. They’re fairly small – I thought they were perfect.

• Witnessed Plastic Barbie laying on a table, as The Neanderthal works on (whatever got up) her ass. She’s wearing very short-shorts – of course. His hand is up her shorts, as he asks “Is this the spot?” She nods. I might have been a few feet away entertaining people with play-by-play comments as The Barbie Encounter took place. (Who me?) There really are no words to convey the amusement this situation provided. (Actually, truth be told – my comments might have contributed greatly to the hilarity in the room.)

• P.S. I hope I never have to be treated for a problem with my ass.

• Overheard There were some great looking body parts to check out at the event last weekend.

• Overheard That machine looks like a giant vibrator. Do you think it would make me feel better? (Oh wait, I might have been the one who said that!)

• Eye Candy As I’ve previously mentioned, there’s an oh-so-hot (!) male trainer working at the gym. The Neanderthal thinks it’s fair game to tease me about the fact my eyes might have wandered, just a wee little bit, on occasion.

There’s nothing wrong with a glance now and then, right?

It’s not like I’ve been voicing a desire to “violate him in every way possible.”

Looking doesn’t make me a cougar.

(Repeat after me: Looking doesn’t ….!)

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Holy Crap! (And Other Words of Wisdom)

Posted on January 31, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

Yesterday, I visited The Neanderthal for my Monday physical therapy session.

In the last two weeks, as he’s been working on my arm/shoulder/upper body -

(And, very successfully, reducing my daily pain level),

I’ve started having a sharp, NEW type of pain – in my back – south of my shoulder blade.

Parts of my anatomy are moving/being moved for the first time in nearly six years. Those muscles, or whatever they are, are freaking out as a result. (Imagine if you didn’t use your leg for six years and suddenly stood on it. It would buckle from right underneath you.)

Yesterday, The Neanderthal decided to really dig into my back muscles to “work on them.”

Two hours later, I couldn’t move off the couch if I tried.

I’m sure those of you who’ve ever had severe back spasms understand.

I ate three Advil and a pain killer for lunch.

(And I repeated the same for dinner.)

Yum, yum!

I sent text messages to The Neanderthal too, and I’m not really responsible for what I might have said.

He appreciated it, I’m sure of it.

He told me to come right back in – but, hello! I couldn’t MOVE! Also? Why would I want to?

(No offense, Mr. Neanderthal – I know you’re helping me. I sincerely do. But ….)

This broken body of mine is a project in progress – and not an easy one. I think The Neanderthal is starting to get an inkling to that as well. After all, if I was easy to fix – I would have been fixed right after the car accident.

I popped some extra Moxxor, and I’m comforting myself with the knowledge I’ll be feeling better in a day or two.

(Hopefully sooner!)

Remember last week when I drove up to L.A. to visit my friend, Neil?

Neil taking an iPhone photo of me, as I took this photo of him.

I thought you might like to see a couple photos from my L.A. visit while I try to get back on my feet.

Neil likes old restaurants. We don’t have a lot of “old” in Southern California, but Neil always finds it.

When we get together in L.A., Neil and I always seem to meet/eat at a new, old, diner.

I like old diners too, but Neil seems to collect them like some men collect women.

It’s one of the things I love about him.

White Camellia – an aging beauty.

After my visit with Neil, I visited Descanso Gardens.

I went, specifically, because their famous camellia garden is blooming.

A pink camellia beginning to bloom.

As always, the gardens were beautiful.

Koi fish in a garden pond.

I discover something new every time I visit ….

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Whew – The Weekend’s Over?

Posted on January 30, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

Today’s post is a bitchfest -

(I’ll be more cheerful tomorrow – I promise!)

I hope you had a great weekend.

I was on duty as a photographer for a local high school’s winter formal on Saturday.

The worst thing about that job?

Listening to obnoxious parents (there’s always at least one!) who thinks they’re an expert photographer when it’s clear they don’t know shit.

I don’t have a problem with people/parents/family/friends taking photos – they should!

I do have a problem with people pretending to be something they’re not.

(And really, that’s true for all areas of life – not just photography.)

For example,

Thanks to a terrible car accident, I’ve gone to physical therapy for about 5 of the last 6 years of my life.

I know way more than most people about physical therapy.

I am not a physical therapist.

I don’t pretend to be one when I’m out in public either.

I also know the basics of commercial photography.

I probably know more about it than Average Joe walking down the street -

I’ve taken a class or two on the subject and I’ve had a few minutes of experience.

Put me in a commercial studio, and I could do a (very) basic light set up and maybe even pull off a couple poor photos.

(I know just enough to make a mess of things.)

I’m not about to go around pretending to be a commercial photographer.

I’m a blogger, and a photographer.

At what point did I start considering myself a professional photographer?

After a year (or more) of total strangers buying my photos to hang in their houses.

Own who, and what, you are (and who you’re NOT) people – !

If you’re a mom with a camera – you’re a mom with a camera. You might even be “that annoying mom with a camera.”

OK, I’m done ranting ….

I think.

(Sheesh! I’m not even PMSing! Can you tell someone annyoyed the hell out of me?)

Anyway -

I did a lot of photo editing over the weekend.

I’m so behind on so many blog, and photography, related items right now – I’m considering hiring someone to help me out on a part-time and/or occasional basis.

(I wake up each day and say hello to hundreds of unanswered emails and to piles and piles of photo editing projects. Did you know I have the type of personality that stresses out when important details are falling through the cracks? Did you know I’ve been taking on more photo projects than a single one-armed person can do?)

Tomorrow I’m meeting with some web designers to fix a few things that weren’t done correctly when my website was redesigned.

(I think I’m going to write a post titled, “What you should know before hiring a web designer.”

I’m sure thousands of people would like to NOT make the mistakes I have – !)

What does all this bitching mean?

Well, sadly, I didn’t get time to enjoy our beautiful weekend at all. Temps were in the 80′s (27C) both days and the beach was calling my name.

But …

As I edited photos, and tried to make a dent in everything I’m behind on, I did get to watch a road runner hang out for hours in our backyard on Sunday.

Road runners make me smile and I never tire of seeing them.

(Also? They eat rattlesnakes so they’re always welcome in my yard.)

In addition, I had the opportunity to take some really beautiful photos -

Corsages and boutineers are still an important part of high school dances.

I love being able to do what I’m passionate about.

Especially since it’s been a long, hard, road just to be able to hold a camera again.

As a side note -

My camera and I have been kicked out of two “public” locations in the last week. I realize everyone is more security conscious post-September 11th,

But, really?

Do I look like the suspicious type?

Is everyone with a camera now considered a danger?

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January Beauty

Posted on January 29, 2012 at 12:01 am.

Written by Suzanne

It may be winter,

But the weather here is warm enough for flowers to be blooming.

Wait …?

Is it winter?

If we don’t get some measureable rain soon, we’re going to have problems.

Photo of a Pretty Flower.

I’m not sure what kind of flower this is.

Do you know?

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