Some of you heard me go off on this subject via Twitter last Friday afternoon. A man named Horni came to visit Twenty Four At Heart and I had a field day with his name.
It really was the greatest thing. It snapped me right out of my funk. I mean who on earth doesn't laugh at a man named Horni?
Like most websites, I have a statistics program associated with 24. It tells me how many visitors I get. It also tells me what city and country they're from. It's not completely accurate, but it gives me a general idea of what areas of the world are logging on. For instance, I only have a few readers in Vietnam, but I have lots in Australia and New Zealand.
Once in a great while a person's actual name will pop up on my stat program. This rarely happens, and I think it's a result of the owner setting up their computer incorrectly to start with. I have no idea who most of you are, and I'm sure you prefer it that way.
(By the way, if you want to get to know me better or for me to get to know you ... leave comments. My regular commenters often end up becoming my real life friends.)
Anyway, last Friday afternoon I clicked over to my stat program and saw a man named Horni XYZ was logged on from a European country. Honestly, I have great blogger luck because shit like that just falls in my lap.
I sent out a tweet saying:
Some guy named Horni from XXXX is on my blog right now. He shouldn't move to the US with that name. He would need to change it.
Of course I couldn't leave it at that. No, once I get on a roll there's no stopping me. I quickly added the following:
And then how would it feel to be Mrs. Horni? Or if you had to say, "I'm married to Horni over there?"
What followed was a general discussion as to whether everyone on Twitter wanted to get Horni. I could release his IP address out to the Twitter population and then anyone who was interested in getting Horni could get in touch with him if they wanted.
(For those of you who are paranoid, I would, in reality, never, ever, release anyone's IP address ... but if I ever WAS going to, for sure it would be Horni's.)
Can you imagine being Horni?
What's it really like to be Horni all the time?
"Hi! I'm Horni."
"Nurse, please get Horni."
"Next time please be louder Horni."
"Raise your hand if you're Horni."
"I woke up Horni."
"I'm Horni and I'm an alcoholic."
And on and on ... and on and on!
If Horni were a regular reader, I wouldn't be writing this post. And Horni, if you're back here again today I apologize for getting so much joy out of your name. According to my stat program it was Horni's first visit to Twenty Four At Heart. My stats also told me he found 24 by googling, "lost her clit."
Horni really is horny.
© Twenty Four At Heart
My writing is copyright protected and I will kick your ass if you steal content. I try to protect the identities of those I mention here by changing whatever identifying details I feel I need to change. If that makes this a fictional blog then so be it. Disclaimer: I'm in no way responsible for what I write because I'm in no way responsible.
Horni is not gonna be happy when he visits next. A not-so-happy-horni is not a fun horni!
Oddly enough...this post has made me kinda...
hungry?
Posted by: Alan | May 04, 2009 at 03:55 AM
Horni can be such a knob.
Seriously, Horni did just fall right into your lap didn't he?
Posted by: Deidre | May 04, 2009 at 04:51 AM
Someone in our family named their son Harrison Laurence... everyone calls him Harry Larry. For the love of God, why would anyone name their child Harrison Laurence when by the time he is in middle school the other kids will have a field day with the name... Sheeesh.....
Posted by: di | May 04, 2009 at 04:54 AM
omg, too funny!
Posted by: Nicki | May 04, 2009 at 05:41 AM
The Horni whore is back! I love it! Tell me things don't happen for a reason and I'll tell you that you just need to get Horni!
Posted by: Pam | May 04, 2009 at 06:12 AM
This is too flippin funny!!! Thanks for my Monday morning laugh...now I can leave for work with something to smile about.
Posted by: Lori | May 04, 2009 at 06:22 AM
ha ha Thats great! Horni fell in your lap. Thanks for the Monday morning smile. Hope Briefcase is okay. Saw the twitpic you sent out. I bet he looks nasty today!
Posted by: Kelly | May 04, 2009 at 06:45 AM
er, horni? honestly, i don't care if he's a swed or dane, but seriously, this name is effed up. thank god my husband's name is vlad.... seriously dark and doom-impending, but hey, i'll take that over horni.
also? no vlad-the-impaler horni jokes. just sayin. when and how i get impaled is my own biz.
Posted by: lo | May 04, 2009 at 08:14 AM
The bloggy gods are looking after you, my friend - some of the most interesting material comes your way just out of nowhere.
Lo, you absolutely rained on my parade when you asked for no "Vlad the Impaler" jokes. Fink.
Posted by: Jan | May 04, 2009 at 08:32 AM
Hahaha. I read your Tweets with great mirth and am so happy to see that it just took a little Horni looking for a lost clit to help lift you out of your funk.
Hope Briefcase is feeling better soon!
Posted by: Kim | May 04, 2009 at 08:46 AM
I wonder what his last name is...
Posted by: Pseudo | May 04, 2009 at 08:57 AM
Hmm, I feel like I've missed out on some great Twitter feeds.
Posted by: stoneskin | May 04, 2009 at 11:18 AM
Now I'M Horni!
Posted by: Jason | May 04, 2009 at 04:54 PM
....and then there's the always funny....honk if you're horni.
Did you hear any honking this weekend??
Posted by: Midlife Slices | May 04, 2009 at 06:15 PM
That? Is kind of awesome. Ha.
Posted by: Zandor | May 04, 2009 at 06:15 PM
I got a customer at work, last name Horner. I really couldn't concentrate the whole transaction. I was laughing in my head!
Posted by: Sugee | May 04, 2009 at 11:57 PM
Bhaa haaa. Poor Mr. Horni.
Posted by: Dutch Donut Girl | May 05, 2009 at 01:26 PM