Fake Butts and Tattoos For Eyebrows

A reader sent me an email asking me what the latest trends are in Money Town.  I have to admit, a lot of time I don't really see my surroundings.  I've become immune to the "bubble" I'm living in.  Sometimes I have to be reminded to look around with a fresh set of eyes.

For instance, a lot of women around here have fake butts now.  I saw a woman with a very obvious fake butt at PT just yesterday.

Do women where you live have fake butts?

The concept is strange to me, although I can see the allure of having a perfectly formed, uplifted, firm, round ass.  

I see the allure because I don't have one.  My ass is all squishy and quite pathetically old realistic instead.

Technically speaking, the surgery to give a Money Town woman the ass of her dreams is called Buttock Augmentation.  Oh, pardon me - I've been informed there are Money Town men also getting fake asses.

Who knew?  (I just thought Money Town men were asses.)

I'd be happy to offer up a few slices of my more than plentiful ass for the use of the Money Town folks.  

I mean ... no, they may not use me as a piece of ass ....  

But yes, I'd be glad to slice off a piece of my ass for their use.  

There's a difference - really!

Did you know a person can't sit for a minimum of 14 days after getting a new ass?  And to insert The Ass Implant they slice you open .... in your butt crack so the scar is hidden.

Ouch!

Also ... ????????

The possibilities for puns, and jokes, and questions, and what ifs, on this topic are endless.  Or bottomless.

In addition, I can't go anywhere around here without running into EYEBROWS.  Fake eyebrows which are either put on with "permanent make-up," or tattooed on.  It's the new rage.  I think fake eyebrows look terrible most of the time.  

People seem to get tattooed eyebrows which are the wrong color for their hair and/or skin.  They look clownish to me.  Maybe there are some tattooed eyebrows which look nice and aren't noticeable in such a horrifying way.  Unfortunately, Money Town seems to be overridden with horrific tattooed eyebrows. 

Don't get me wrong, I know there's a real need for this procedure sometimes.  People lose their eyebrows when they go through chemotherapy.  Some people lose hair for other medical reasons too.  Having a medical need is a completely different situation.

Also?  I would think if someone got tattooed eyebrows for medical reasons they would be less likely to make them overly dark and dramatic and so, so ... ghastly.

Why would you want someone to look at you and think, "Eyebrows!" right off the bat? 

I first think "Eyebrows!" and I then think, "Too much time on her hands!"

Money Town women?  It's not a good look.  Really, it isn't.  (Not even with that nice new ass you just bought.)

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Deidre]

I'm sorry, fake eyebrows? tattooed eyebrows? This cannot be real?

[stoneskin]

I hate running into eyebrows. The damn things always get in the way.

Do women where you live have fake butts? Dunno, I would get in trouble for finding out...

[Jan]

I have a question:

How the blue HELL do you NOT sit down for two whole weeks? The logistics of that just boggles the mind...

[Joanne]

I call them "sharpie eyebrows" because they look like they were drawn on with a sharpie. and I see them a lot in my salon. If these "permanent makeup" specialists had any artistic talent AT ALL, they could figure out a way to make them look better, like using a single needle and two colors to draw HAIRS instead of a big grey (or black) STRIPE!!!!!
I had no idea about the butt thing and no sitting down, that is just hysterical!! it would serve them right if it one of those deals where they tell you they will give you a PERFECT ass, just sign here, pay and tell you you cant sit down AFTER they are done..... why that just makes me giggle!!!!

[Maureen@IslandRoar]

Fake eyebrows? Sounds like the 50's all over again, when women drew them on and they looked awful.
Ah, to have a smooth hard butt.....
Yet I don't think I'd go thru getting my ass sliced open to do this. With my luck it would just slide downward(like everything else) towards my thighs...

[di]

Well I must say that your post title sure 'raised' my eyebrows... hahahahhaha

Ever seen the reality show, 'Say Yes To The Dress'? One of the sales ladies at the wedding dress store has drawn on lips and eyebrows. If that's what Money Town thinks is gorgeous then they need to have a brain tattooed in their heads!

With today's technology they 'should' be able to make realistic looking brows, as for the asses, well that's just too funny... wouldn't it feel like you were sitting on a whoopie cushion all the time? Weird.

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal

[Hallie]

Perhaps they should get an eyebrown tattooed above their back door. And some lashed. That way, when they are showing up their new ass, they can wink hello too!!

Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/

[Alan]

Fake asses have been around for years. I had thought about getting MY ass augmented but decided against it and go the fake eyebrows instead. Unfortunately they messed them up and took the entire brow across my forehead...and now I look Cro-Magnon. But that's okay...I give it a few months and then THAT look will be back in and I'll be all the rage!

[Kelly]

I've seen the fake eyebrows. Hideous! I'd like a fake ass of my own but NO ONE is cracking open my crack!

[WebSavyMom]

-->People have too much money on their hands or in this case, coming out of their ass. ha!

~deb
www.WebSavyMom.com

[A Vapid Blonde]

I know a korean woman (this is imporant because they typically have thin eyebrows that grow down so the woman I know has told me) who's eighty something year old mother decided to get tattooed eyebrows...um and didn't really love the way they came out. Can you imagine living 80 years and waking up one morning looking totally different than you did the day before, and isn't it hard enough to look in the mirror at 40 and see how different things are! Also the daughter has tattooed eyeliner that was black and now looks like the color from the early 80's that was by covergirl I think and was called ocean blue (?) It was all the rage in '82.

[LPC]

Oh dear god. What happens when you sit down?

[Mike Krause]

@LPC Depends

[Issa]

I keep thinking that the people with the fake everything will just start melting one day. I'm meltttinng, I'm mellltttinnnggg.

[Kari-Mel]

Scar in the ass crack would make you feel like you'd been shitting fire water for weeks! OMG the pain!

[stephen]

I don't get it. I mean, in my 52 years of being a free willed male roaming the face of the earth, I have seen exactly 4 female butts that weren't scrumptious. F.O.U.R. I won't bore you with the trivial details of those four particular back porches, but can you say "baby got back?" Reiterating a point I made awhile back while commenting on 24's blog, this is all about women comparing themselves to other women. Men don't nakedly snuggle up to their beloved and say, "Honey, you need an ass implant." Doesn't happen. It's an estrogen fueled competition. My advice, DON'T LOOK AT THE RAG MAGAZINES AT THE GROCERY CHECKOUT! Unless you are a TMZ crazed lesbian, your ass is just fine. steve

[stephen]

I was heading out the door to the grocery store and it occurred to me that I should have clarified that my characterization of scrumptious female butts only includes ADULT anatomy. Child molesters, kiddie porn afficiandos and the like should be KILLED! I volunteer to do the trigger pulling. steve

[Sandra]

I'm not into the fake butts or painted eyebrows but I do think tattoo eye liner is a cool thing. My friend has it done about every 10 years because she's allergic to make-up. I've considered it.

[Michelle Pixie]

YIKES! Fake butts make absolutely no sense but on some level my flat butt is kind of jealous?! I don't have a whole lot of butt they could use for their ass implants but if they'd like some of these damn thighs I'd hand them over for free!! And the eyebrow thing freaks me out. I can only imagine the years of over-sculpting those things have lead to them not growing anymore and so that is why they have the need to get them tattooed on?

[Jack]

This post reminds me a bit of the most recent episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

[Jane]

Ass surgery will not be perfected until those of us who have too much can voluntarily give to those who have too little.

Until then, it's just all about vanity.

[sometimessophia]

Sad, but funny. I remember when my butt was so tight and trim I was mistaken for a boy (my hair was really short when I was a skinny twenty-something) Ahhh, "Hey young man" some older guy addressed me as I preceeded him up a flight of stairs." Cute. As for tattoos. Some of my mom's friends I think shaved their eyebrows, then had little stencil shapes that they filled in with pencil. That wasn't a good look either.