I'm Talking Rabbit Sex and Not The Good Kind

I recently got an estimate for installing artificial grass in our backyard.

Artificial grass is pretty damn pricey and Briefcase and I are in the process of arguing over discussing the matter.

Before you moan and groan and ask, "How can you even consider such a thing?" let me tell you I have several good reasons.

First of all, California is in a drought and we are constantly being asked to conserve water.  Grass requires water ... lots and lots of water.  We have a pretty large grass area surrounding our pool.  Therefore, reason #1 is The Green Factor.

Reason #2 is The Dog Factor.  I have two large retrievers.  

 

Dogs like to pee on grass and dog pee kills grass.  It's an ongoing battle to keep the grass alive.

Reason #3 is The Rabbit Factor.  And this, really, is the biggest factor of all.  I live in a canyon.  I'm surrounded by wilderness.  Wilderness means wildlife ... and four hundred bazillion horny, breeding, rabbits are a big part of that wildlife.

You thought this post was going to be about sex-toy rabbits, didn't you?  Well, you were wrong ... I have issues with real-life, horny, rabbits with big ears and cottontails.

Are you starting to feel like you're looking at a National Geographic magazine with all my animal photos today?

Did you know the average bunny completes the sex act in 20 seconds?  (giggle)  I dated a guy just like that once upon a time ... but it didn't last long.

Ha ha!  Get it?

Female bunnies begin having sex at 6 months of age and male bunnies begin at 4 months.  Bunnies make more bunnies ... lots and lots of bunnies during their lifetime.  Every damn one of them comes to eat my grass down to the roots.  They are hungry, horny, little cottontails.

(Someday, I'm going to be locked up in a padded cell based on the weird subjects I've googled in my lifetime!)

My retrievers chase the rabbits out of the yard during the day, but during the evening and early morning hours the rabbits come out in droves to eat the delicious grass.  (My Golden caught one and brought it into the house one day.  You should have heard me scream when I saw long rabbit legs protruding from his mouth as he stood next to me in the kitchen!)  We've put chicken wire along the bottom edge of our wrought iron fencing to no avail.  The rabbits chew holes right through the fencing.

Why don't we leave the dogs outside 24/7?  If we did they'd be killed by coyotes or mountain lions.  

Yes, we have big critters in this here canyon too!  (Also, retrievers are "people dogs" and do best when allowed to be with the rest of their "family.")

A friend suggested getting a cat.  Do cats eat rabbits?  No one in our neighborhood has managed to keep a cat for more than a week.  The coyotes (and big horned owls!) eat the cats for snacks.  Yes, the coyotes also eat rabbits.  Did you know rabbits actually scream when they are being eaten by coyotes?  Well, they do and it's very disturbing.  Of course, I'd scream too if I was being eaten alive by coyotes.

The problem is, the rabbits are multiplying way faster than the coyotes can eat them.

The bigger problem is, the rabbits are determined to eat our grass down to nothing.

I'm thinking artificial grass is the only protection against an army of horny, hungry, (sometimes screaming) rabbits.

Here are my questions for you today.  Do you have any (humane) suggestions for getting rid of the rabbits?  Do you know any particular pros and/or cons of artificial grass?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Deidre]

I just want to play with that Golden Retriever's ears, like all day. Wait, what's your question?

I don't know anything about rabbits - except in Australia they tried to build a rabbit proof fence. Even made a movie about it.

[Joanne]

number one, chicken wire is.... um, er... for chickens( who dont have teeth)Rabbit fence (yes there is) also known as garden fence will work, or a heavy gauge hardware cloth, that you can buy up to four foot tall and replace the chicken wire. the advantage of garden fence is that the spacing is close at the bottom half and wider at the top. it would keep all kinds of critters out, and keep that frightened pool boy from running of and getting eaten by coyotes when he stumbles in on you naked

[Diamonique]

I do not know anything about any of the subject you talk about. I just want to say that you live in a weird place!!!

[Jan]

Girl, if I knew how to get rid of the Evil Fluffy Bunnies I'd be more than glad to tell you. However, I have to say they do not ALL live in your canyon and eat your grass. A great many of them apparently have taken up residence in our neighborhood (and, I suspect, under our deck) and they don't eat our grass. They eat our hostas and our lillies and our parsley and our peppers and our chives and our baby tomato plants and our cilantro...

[Kelly]

Animal photos! I love animals! I think fake turf gets real hot?

[Mike]

it sounds lke you're taking your life in your hands if you walk outside there. The next Survivor could be filmed in your backyard in Orange County!

[Maureen@IslandRoar]

Yeah, the bunnies run amok here as well. We don't have coyotes (apparently they drown before they can swim all the way to the island), but hawks go after kitties ocassionally. I have found strong wire fencing protects my flower beds, tho it ain't pretty. they also hate the smell/taste of marigolds and nastertiums, which I plant strategically. But a whole lawn to protect....I think you might want to go with the fake grass!

[missy]

I too know all about bunnies and grass. Their poop also kills the grass!. I do know of someone in our area who put in artificial grass about 4-5 years ago and they LOVE it. Always looks good and the eventual savings in water use is terrific.

[Mr. B]

Hey, I use Blood meal, you can get it at Lowes/home depot in the fertilizer section. It comes in a bag, it is a black granule/powder. Just sprinkle on edge of grass and they should stay away, only problem is it gets washed away with watering. They don't like the smell. Maybe you could put some down around the fence in your yard and that might keep them out, worth a try. It works great on my flowers in the front yard. You can also buy Coyote urine, but that is a little expensive. But still cheaper than fake grass.

[Jeanne P]

Don't know anything about bunny prevention but I love your dogs!! We had a chocolate named Max we lost a couple years ago and I love to see pictures of peoples brown dogs! We also have a golden named Buddy ( I know, original huh?) and now have added a golden named Wilson to our home. Love those dogs!

[Michelle Pixie]

I've got nothing... Just wanted to chime in and tell you your puppies are too cute! And I guess if you do get the astroturf you could always make it into your own little putting green. ;)

[Mike Krause]

Get the fake grass. In your case the pros will outweigh the cons.

[Jack]

I had a run in with a coyote once. Only one of us left the way that we had entered, and well, I am typing so you know who made it out.

Canyons are great places to live, but there are a few complications with them.

A while back I think I read about something that you can spray on the lawn that the varmints don't like, but I can't remember the name. If it comes to me I'll be back.

[Kel]

Are you sure those rabbits are screaming from being eaten by the coyotes or is it a horny rabbit scream. ;)

Your dogs are beautiful.

As for getting rid of the rabbits....no ideas. Did you Google it? lol

[Kristan]

Aw, I so did not need to know about the screaming rabbits... :'(

[Sandra]

My girlfriend was in sales for an artificial grass company called Heavenly Greens in N. Calif. We looked into it since we'd get her discount. The price was insane even with her discount but I LOVED the idea of it. It looks totally real and maintenance is a breeze. I recommend you keep your sprinker system to wash away dog poop residue and just in case you feel like running thru the sprinklers one day. :)

[Allyson/@HBMomof2]

I have to say we looked into artificial, but decided against it for the following reasons: 1. Messy - there are these little black beads on the top and the dog/kids would track them in. 2. The smell - When it gets really hot it smells like burning rubber. It gets hot here in the OC and I didn't want that smell in my backyard. and 3. The grass, because it is of a plastic-y (yes, a scientific word) heats up and makes the grass unusable for my family. The cost was pricey, but we couldn't do it for the other reasons. My kids are outside all summer long and although we liked the idea of "green" grass, read: no watering, the other factors outweighed it. I know there are many kinds out there, but what we found didn't work for our family. Good luck with the bunnies, don't envy that. ;0)

[stephen]

The solution is a .17 caliber airgun. Very accurate and quiet. Cottontails are delicious. My favorite is braised in red wine and a little basalmic vinegar. Assorted veggies in as well. Lean and delicious:-) I went looking for them last night but had to settle for a few quail. Just writing this is making me hungry. Yes, it's true, I hunt. I kill. I cook. I eat. MMMM MMMM! http://www.honest-food.net/blog1/wild-game-recipes/chilindron-spanish-red-pepper-stew/#more-2683 I haven't tried this recipe yet but hope to soon. This is a great site I enjoy. steve

[Tracy Davis]

I was thinking it might have a yucky smell in the heat and then I just read a comment above mentioning that. I really don't know for sure though it sounds like it's something to seriously research. Is there any other type of landscaping that you could have done that would look pretty and natural in your environment but not necessarily be "green grass"?

Your dogs, they're beautiful!!

[Anne Gibert]

Dog pee on artificial grass might not be okay. How about gravel or cement? Gravel with stepping stones where you want to walk and exotic potted plants would be pretty.

Someday I'll write a post about working in the reproduction lab of the Department of Agriculture. There are some interesting twists in porcine reproductive physiology.

[Suzi]

What I do to repel bunnies from my garden here in WV is grate Irish Spring soap through a cheese grater and sprinkle it around the perimeters about every two months. Bunnies and Deer dislike the smell and taste. Works great and I have absolutely no problems with them getting in my garden.

[Kensi]

human hair. I know it may sound gross, (I'm a hairstylist,so it doesn't bother me) but if you ask your salon to sweep it up and bag it for you, it's free!

[Lorna Harris]

I feel like I'm reading the Animal Planet blog!

Won't the plastic grass get all smelly when your dogs pee on it?! They're not going to like it!

[Gladys]

I have the same problem. I live on the other side of the Santa Ana mountains. We have ZERO grass because the rabbits ate it. We no longer have any boganvillas because the rabbits ate them, we no longer have roses because the rabbits ate them. Heck they have even started gnawing the oleanders. The coyotes put signs up saying "HERE EAT THESE GREENS" then hide behind the rocks and pounce. I too have 2 big dogs that I keep inside because I have lost cats and little dogs to coyotes.

[Lexi - @laprimera]

I have friends with artificial grass. It's very pretty. But they had a great dane too. And pee on artificial grass = smelly. Even rinsing it down often, the smell lingers strongly. I haven't been in their back yard lately, so I don't know if the smell is gone. Their doggy (horse more like - he was huge) got sick and passed away last year.

Good luck!

[Braja]

It's hell trying to control the food chain, isn't it?
:)))