The other night I was sitting in my favorite over-sized leather chair. I was trying to fight off my turkey coma (caused by eating copious amounts of turkey and trimmings). I was staring into the depths of my laptop as I guiltily contemplated the many emails I've neglected recently and really must get caught up on.
In the background, the TV blared and I ignored it. I'm not much of a TV person, but Briefcase is. When he's home, the TV is usually on.
My attention was suddenly caught by a man's voice saying (rather loudly) from our TV, "Pap smears save lives."
Startled, I glanced at the TV. A very handsome Josh Pais stared back at me with Christmas bells jingling in the background.
For a moment, I questioned if I had really just heard what my brain and ears knew I had.
A handsome man surrounded by jingling Christmas bells doesn't normally discuss pap smears. (Especially on TV while many of us share a relaxing evening with our family/kids surrounding us.)
Don't get me wrong. I agree, pap smears do save lives. One of my neighbors died from cervical cancer and I'm very aware of the importance of the test. I'm in no way disagreeing with the idea of pap smears, their importance, or even the fact that Public Service Announcements on TV about them might help save lives.
(And also? Don't even get me started on recent women's health issues such as the new mammogram and pap smear guidelines!)
But Josh Pais? Pap smears and jingle bells?
As my brain was trying to fully wrap itself around what I was seeing and hearing, Josh Pais continued.
"This Christmas impress her. Give her the gift that even Santa can't deliver."
I gasped!
"Did you hear that?" I asked Briefcase as he re-entered the room.
He hadn't.
"CBS thinks you should book a pap smear for me this year as my Christmas gift," I informed him.
I grinned and added, "It's the gift even Santa can't deliver."
Briefcase rolled his eyes.
A sudden vision of Santa poking between my legs came to my mind. I shook my head violently trying to dispel it.
I'm sure Briefcase was contemplating my reaction if I woke up Christmas morning to find out my big! surprise! gift! under our Christmas tree was an appointment for a pap smear.
In my mind I can hear him saying on Christmas morning, "There's a pap smear in a box for you 24! I even put a big red bow on your extra special pap smear!"
Then he would beam at me with a smile on his face and I would start stripping off his clothes right then to show my appreciation for his gift.
Do ya think?
Or maybe not?
Here's the PSA. I knew you'd want to see it in it's entirety. (It's short, I promise!)
If you're a man ... would this PSA convince you to book an appointment for an important woman in your life? You might save her life. Of course, by choosing a pap smear as her gift you might be risking yours!
© Twenty Four At Heart
My writing is copyright protected and I will kick your ass if you steal content. I try to protect the identities of those I mention here by changing whatever identifying details I feel I need to change. If that makes this a fictional blog then so be it. Disclaimer: I'm in no way responsible for what I write because I'm in no way responsible.
Personally, I would be ticked off if my husband gave me an appointment for a pap smear for Christmas. But I like the message that it is important. Is there anyone out there that doesn't know that?
Posted by: Beth | November 30, 2009 at 03:00 AM
I can't be surprised by anything on the telly anymore! A new commercial the other day featured talking breasts (yes!) and the ad was for....shoes...I think! I guess subliminally, the PAP announcement stays with you longer after a handsome face hooks you in!
Lynn
Posted by: lynn | November 30, 2009 at 03:12 AM
Hm, I always thought pap smears were more of a valentine's day gift. Although maybe it's one of the alternative versions of "dick in a box?"
Valentine's day?
pap in a box
Hanukkah?
pap in a box.
Christmas?
Pap in a box.
Kwanzaa?
pap in a box.
Posted by: Deidre | November 30, 2009 at 03:15 AM
And Briefcase really calls you '24'? Fantastic. Hope you recover quickly from the turkey coma, just in time for Christmas where you can suffer another one. Or two.
Posted by: stoneskin | November 30, 2009 at 04:20 AM
Couldn't get your video to open, but I found it on YouTube and viewed it there... what a strange thing for CBS to do. Important message, but weird.
Di
The Blue Ridge Gal
(I'll schedule my own pap smears thank you very much, Hubby)
Posted by: di | November 30, 2009 at 05:03 AM
Well, thank goodness someone's doing this! I mean, it's not like we'd remember if our men didn't gift us with it, right? Good to know our big brave strong men are looking out for our uteruses!
Altho I do love your image of Santa between your legs...
Posted by: Maureen@IslandRoar | November 30, 2009 at 05:17 AM
Tell me honestly, who is the PR PERSON FOR THIS???
That's insane. And as if we are not SMART ENOUGH to make the appointment ourselves.
jesus.
Posted by: vodkamom | November 30, 2009 at 05:55 AM
Hmmm. I think it's a WONDERFUL idea. If the guy in question has a death wish.
Wonder if I could convince my ex it would be the perfect holiday gift for his lovely wife.
Posted by: Jan | November 30, 2009 at 06:30 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And once again CBS reaffirms why I work for them 9 months out of the year. An EXCELLENT choice for a Christmas gift. And then you can pretty well bet on the fact that I will be getting the couch for the rest of December through January.
Posted by: Alan | November 30, 2009 at 06:39 AM
OMG! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!! I wonder who came up with THAT? I also want you to know I just spewed my morning coffee all over reading about Santa poking between your legs. hahaha!
Posted by: Kelly | November 30, 2009 at 06:59 AM
This implies women are too stupid to book the appointments for themselves. I've been booking mine since I was 18.
Maybe we could book our men a rectoal exam in exchange...
Posted by: Pseduo | November 30, 2009 at 07:23 AM
I'm so disturbed by that PSA...not the message, just the delivery. And, uh, SANTA giving me a PAP smear....*shudder*
Posted by: angi | November 30, 2009 at 08:15 AM
So while the pap smears appts are wrapped and under the tree, there will be a reciprocal prostrate appointment tucked in his stocking - right?
Posted by: Cate | November 30, 2009 at 12:19 PM
The PSA is a good one, everyone woman out there should get a pap smear (could they use a better word than smear?).
I don't know who the guy is but you can tell he is trying to stifle a laugh when he starts talking.
If a husband or boyfriend got me a pap smear for Christmas I would return the favor by offering them a prostrate exam with my foot, right then and there.
On the other hand my ex husband never got me anything for Christmas so finding anything under the tree, even a pap smear, might be kinda nice.
Posted by: Jen | November 30, 2009 at 12:44 PM
I agree that the message is important but ELPH booking a pap smear for me as my Christmas gift is like ELPH giving me a vacuum cleaner. NOT my idea of a good gift.
Posted by: Linda | November 30, 2009 at 12:46 PM
Oh Em Gee.
That is all.
Posted by: MommaSunshine | November 30, 2009 at 02:44 PM
I think if that is something that I opened, I'd shoot 'em. Of course, some might say I'm overreacting
Posted by: jessica | November 30, 2009 at 03:13 PM
Oh my god, I saw this too, over the weekend, and fell off the couch laughing! This had to be a campaign "idea" of a man. The perfect Christmas gift!
Posted by: Jane | November 30, 2009 at 04:15 PM
Pap smear for her. Prostate exam for him. Merry Christmas.
Posted by: Mocha Dad | November 30, 2009 at 05:06 PM
If all someone wanted for Christmas was a pap smear......they'd be pretty pathetic. I want a mammogram from Santa.
Posted by: Midlife Slices | November 30, 2009 at 05:56 PM
Honey, guess what I'm getting you for Xmas? I'll give you one hint...turn your head...cough...you guessed it right..it's a hernia check, and I'm throwing in the rectal/prostate exam because I love you. For your 50th birthday...something very special...a colonoscopy! Just shit yourself silly the day before! And just to make sure everything is ship-shape...a chlamydia screen..you know it's just like a tiny q-tip. No big deal!
Posted by: dogmother | November 30, 2009 at 06:10 PM
Wow. That is one stupid PSA. (The message is okay.. yes get a pap.. but not for your SO.)
Posted by: Heather | November 30, 2009 at 08:50 PM
These people are sick. Maybe they should have a brain scan. :-)
Posted by: Walter | November 30, 2009 at 11:30 PM
oh, my friend, santa can not hold a candle to a bagel and a pap schmear! http://tinyurl.com/ylxgaq2
how funny is it that we both posted this? i truly believe we are separated at birth!
Posted by: amyz5 | December 01, 2009 at 02:49 PM
I can only say, "Wow".
Posted by: cute~ella | December 02, 2009 at 06:31 AM
I saw it and had to rewind it to make sure I'd actually heard what I thought I had.
Yeah, not sure it's the best holiday commercial.
Posted by: Issa | December 02, 2009 at 11:12 AM