Every holiday season I give a gift to The Torturer. Originally, when I began this tradition, I thought it would be one gift ... one year. You know, a nice gesture to let him know I appreciate his efforts with my car accident recovery. This holiday season marked my fourth (!) holiday season as The Torturer's patient.
Yes, my life is pathetic.
The Torturer and I joke that many years from now he'll hobble out in a walker to care for torture me and I'll still be there trying to escape needing his torture care.
It's not funny, but at the same time - it is.
By the way, if he didn't love being with me so much he would have gotten me 100% recovered by now so he could be rid of me.
Don't ya think?
Anyway, over the years I've given some very nice gifts to The Torturer, in spite of the pain he inflicts on me. This year, however, I gave him the best gift yet.
Now, whenever he tires of hearing me bitch complain whine whimper in pain, he can tune me out easily and carry on with his job of getting my arm to work and my body free of pain. Of course, I've already informed him I might want to use a pair of his ear plugs every day once in awhile too. There could be a lot of benefits in not being able to hear him giving me rules about what I'm allowed to do bitching at me nagging me providing me with helpful advice.
© Twenty Four At Heart
My writing is copyright protected and I will kick your ass if you steal content. I try to protect the identities of those I mention here by changing whatever identifying details I feel I need to change. If that makes this a fictional blog then so be it. Disclaimer: I'm in no way responsible for what I write because I'm in no way responsible.
Excellent gift. Absolutely perfect. And maybe it'll also drown out the sounds of orgasmo woman.
Posted by: Mad Woman | December 30, 2009 at 12:35 AM
they might also come in handy for the moaner too !
Posted by: Joanne | December 30, 2009 at 03:54 AM
hello
i read post secret, http://postsecret.blogspot.com/ and i saw a secret from orange county. Apart from the OC (which I've never watched) the only other thing from there abouts I know of is you! So I thought you might like to check it out, also because postsecret is great in general. I read your blog lots but dont often comment, but I hope the accident before christmas hasnt put your recovery back because I believe you are on the road to RECOVERY. And I think the new coffee cup is great, but I did like the red colour better. Also, did the torturer give you any presents? Have a happy hogmanay, SSG
Posted by: SSG | December 30, 2009 at 04:25 AM
Look like great ear plugs... did you give them a test run before wrapping them up for him?
DI
Posted by: di | December 30, 2009 at 04:55 AM
THAT is an awesome gift! I gotta get me some of those...LOL
Posted by: Alan | December 30, 2009 at 05:36 AM
Suzanne, that is funny. I was wearing similar earplugs one day while working in my woodshop. They were so comfortable I forgot to remove them when I came in for lunch. I'm eating a sandwich watching the tube when the babe comes in and YELLS, "TURN THAT THING DOWN!" Duh! The ear damage that day wasn't from power tools but the tv volume when I pulled those suckers out. And I'm neither blond nor female, go figure. stephen
Posted by: stephen | December 30, 2009 at 05:52 AM
What - no matching ball gag?
Posted by: Jan | December 30, 2009 at 06:05 AM
I, too, though immediately of the Moaner. But I am guessing that kind of noise probably doesn't bother him as much.
:)
Posted by: Liz Tee | December 30, 2009 at 08:09 AM
LOL I bet he loved it!
Posted by: Kelly | December 30, 2009 at 09:20 AM
Can I just say I'm sorry right up front and get that over with? I'm sorry I've missed so many of your posts and didn't know you'd been rear ended. I'm also sorry you were really rear ended and that wasn't just a way of describing a....well, maybe more pleasurable experience. *wink*
Glad you're o.k. and your Christmas was good and it's all over with for another year.
Oh....that gift is perfect for the torturer.
Posted by: Midlife Slices | December 30, 2009 at 09:52 AM
-->What a great gift idea for him. haha...
http://www.websavvymom.com
Posted by: WebSavvyMom | December 30, 2009 at 11:03 AM
I am touched by the love you two feel for each other. ;-)
Posted by: Jane | December 30, 2009 at 03:33 PM
*bwahaha* I love your sense of humor, you are one funny girl!
Posted by: Momma Pixie | December 30, 2009 at 03:35 PM
what, you couldn't give him an ipod? hahaha. too funny. bet he has those in the next time you show up for an appointment.
Posted by: amyz5 | December 30, 2009 at 07:33 PM
Oh, you are so funny!
Maybe you can borrow a pair for your jaunts around Money Town. You know, so you can just smile and nod and not hear a word those uppity women say?
Posted by: Maureen@IslandRoar | December 30, 2009 at 08:36 PM