I'm Back (Sorta)

Thank you to everyone who has sent well wishes.  I really appreciate it.

I'm doing better, but still tenative with my vision.

And okay, I sorta feel like I've been run over by a truck too.

I'm having trouble reading still.  I'm very limited in the amount of time I can look at a computer screen.  I look at the screen for a few seconds, close my eyes to rest, and then try again.  On my MacBook, I can make the type-size enormous which helps me read.  My eyes are still in the process of healing and need a lot of rest.

Forgive me for not replying to emails and/or visiting blogs, etc. right now.  Reading hurts and I'm not supposed to be straining my eyes (reading) yet.

I've gotten all sorts of questions from people.  Some of them are funny.

For example, I do live in The OC, but I did not injure my eyes having a "chemical peel."

Which is not to say my wrinkles couldn't benefit from a chemical peel, but no thank you just the same.

Basically, I had a severe allergic reaction to some eye medication.  It began with just a lot (!) of swelling and insanely red itchy eyes for a few days ... also, red itchy, hive-like, skin surrounding my eyes.  (I still feel like a raccoon with red, swollen, circles around my eyes.)

Last Wednesday, I noticed I had really blurry, clouded, vision.  I started to get scared.  I told myself it was just a side effect from the allergic reaction and would get better on its own.

When I woke up last Thursday my eyes were burning so severely I couldn't keep them open.  I never knew eyes could hurt so badly.  If I could have torn them out of my head for relief, I would have.  I was running a pretty high fever.  My eyes were bright red and tearing uncontrollably.

In addition to terrible pain, I couldn't see much of anything.

I was scared to death.

I called my eye doctor; she had the day off.  

Of course she did.

It took several hours to finally get in with another eye doctor.

He was wonderful.

Thank God.

Seriously, thank God for that eye doctor.  He wins my family's business for life.

He numbed my eyes and I groveled at his feet in thanks for the pain relief.

Well, not really, but almost.

Unfortunately, the numbing was only very temporary.  The medication used to numb eyes also slows their healing, so I had to tough out the worst of it.

The doc explained to me the allergic reaction had been so severe, it had basically acted as a chemical burn to my corneas.  A few days after the initial reaction, my corneas sloughed off the burned skin ... kind of like peeling after a sunburn.

He saw severely lacerated corneas with lots of abrasions when he examined me.

The pain!  

Holy shit, the pain!

They put a special type of contact lens on my eyes.  The contact lenses are used, apparently, with trauma victims to help heal badly injured eyes.

The skin around my eyes was so "burned," it actually began bleeding during my eye exam.

I was put on a zillion types of medications, including a host of eye drops which all sting like hell.

My kitchen counter looked like a pharmacy, but I couldn't see it so I guess that's okay.  There were so many eyedrops Briefcase had to put post-it notes by each bottle to keep them, and the directions for each, straight.  Add to that, pain killers, antibiotics, sleeping pills ... drugs, drugs, drugs!

I stayed in a dark room for a few days, only coming out for daily visits to the eye doctor.  

Over the weekend, I began to be able to see BIG things.  I could even see the TV eventually, but I'm not supposed to watch it yet.  (I listen to it instead, because I'm bored out of my mind!)

I wear sunglasses even in the house but I can't bear to go outside even with them on.  (The only exception, so far, being my trips to the eye doc.)  My eyes are intensely light-sensitive.

Each day is getting better.  The pain is SO much better.  My vision is improving gradually.  I'm still using a few types of eyedrops, but the number of medications has decreased substantially.

Every day I try to read, and get frustrated and panicky when I can't for more than a minute or two.  My blackberry blinking at me with its damn red light is particularly frustrating because I can't read the damn thing.  The doctor tells me it is due to residual swelling in my eyes and it will gradually improve.

I feel like I've been to hell and back in the last week.  

I look forward to getting back to my normal life.  I can't wait to go outside during daylight without the sunlight piercing my eyes with pain.  I can't wait to be able to read, and write without it hurting.  I picked up my camera and just held it last night.  Soon.

In the meantime, thank you for hanging in there with me.  I'm sorry for being such a downer lately, but things will be getting better every day now.

Thank goodness!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Comments

[Margaret]

So glad to hear you are (sorta) on the mend. That must have been so scary. Best wishes and hope your eyes improve quickly.

[Kristen]

You have been to hell and back, you poor thing. :( It makes me sad to hear you have been in such pain. Thinking of you, feel better soon!!

[Deidre]

What an ordeal! I am glad you're safely on the otherside and that things are on the up and up!

[Michelle]

I can empathise on the hurt like hell and aversion to light. Only mine was caused by a scratch to the cornea which got infected. Praise God indeed for good eye specialists. I'm keeping mine too.

Praying for a quick recovery (apparently a scratch on the cornea heals at a rate of 1mm a day - unless it gets infected)

[Duchess]

It made me wince just reading about this... Keep getting better and don't do too much too soon. Your readers will still be here when you get back to your old self.

[Mo]

Gosh, that post made me feel queasy.

*clasps desk firmly*

So sorry to read of this ordeal.

[mama llama]

Oh, you poor thing. My thoughts are with you in a speedy recovery. Don't push yourself too hard, and know we're all here thinking of you.

Be well, 24.

[Joanne]

jeeze honey! That is terrible!!!!If you dont mind my asking (I mean if you can see me asking) what happened that got you prescribed on toilet cleaner eyedrops in the first place??
Take it easy, dont push yourself. Love ya

[di]

Horrible for you!. What med were you on that your eyes reacted to?? Sounds so painful.

Hope they heal up soon with no long lasting problems for you.

Take care.
Di

[Hallie]

My eyes watered in sympathy while reading this.

Do NOT apologize for being a downer. You certainly have every reason to be as down as you need to be.

I am in awe that you are actually handling this as well as you are.

I can't deal with ANYTHING involving my eyeballs.

Hoping you are feeling 100% very soon.

Hallie

[Kristan]

HOLY GEEZ, 24! Thanks for the update. I'm glad you're feeling better. And tell Briefcase we all love him for taking care of you!

[Linda]

Don't worry about that blinking Blackberry. Think of it this way...It's just us saying Hi! Get well soon!

[Ginger]

24, I used to be an Ophthalmic Assistant, and I understand that eye pain is the worst kind you can have. I'm sending you a huge cyber hug. Hang in there. I'm glad you found a decent eye doctor.

[Debrabby]

Suzanne
YOU just heal and get better. I've been very worried about you and I am so sorry to hear that you've been through total hell with this. Don't you be the least bit concerned about updates or anything, you just rest and continue to heal. We'll all be here when you are ready!

[Liz Tee]

Yep, that pretty much sounds like hell. We're here cheering for you!

[stacy]

wow. Glad to hear that you are on the mend. You know that life is a roller coaster and it goes up and down and even when you are down, just know the up part is coming soon. We are praying for your quick healing.

[Pam]

OMG! I cannot believe the hell you've been through! I am so glad you are feeling better and hope for your full recovery very soon! Take care!

[Heather]

Wow you've been through a lot! Rest and recover!

[The Queen of Chaos]

I've been sick and not tweeting or reading my blogs so I had no idea this happened, I'm sooo sorry! I remember in HS I scratched my cornea and how much pain that was, I can't imagine the intensity here, especially with all you've grown accustomed to the past 3 years.

Praying for a quick and successful recovery Suzanne.

[Michelle Pixie]

I am glad to hear you are on the mend and can't wait until you are up and running agian! We miss you! Take Care. {{{HUGS}}}

[Jack]

So sorry to hear this. Take your time- things will still be here when you are ready.

[Croneandbearit]

Never feel you have to read our blogs - we know you think of us. You have been in prayers and continue to be so. I want a full recovery and I want you back to your normal self -- able to read and enjoy. You stay strong sister! Hugs and blessings!

[Erin]

Wanted to wish you a speedy recovery. Just a suggestion for curing boredom when you can not read words is to try some audiobooks - you can even down load them from your local public library.

[PrincessJenn]

OMG. You poor thing!! I can't imagine the pain you must have been in.
So glad to hear that you're healing and will be back to us soon!

[Fragrant Liar]

Good god, woman! I'm so sorry you're having to go through that, and so happy you're recovering well. I can't imagine doing without my eyes for even five minutes, and being unable to read or watch TV would SUCK! So I feel your pain (though thank god not literally). Get better soon, will ya? I can't take this.

[Stacey]

Glad to hear you're recovering. This sounds like quite the ordeal. I can't even imagine. Feel better soon!

[steenky bee]

Sending giant sized hugs from Utah (so you can see them and because I love you).

[Cathy B.]

Holy cow, hon - don't worry about anything but taking care of yourself. We'll still be here when you're better (and get someone to read the comments to you, don't try to do it yourself for now!)

[Jill]

Oh no! You poor thing! Things have GOT to look up from here, right? Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery!

[Jason]

YIKES! I'm sorry this happened to you! What a frightening nightmare.

Between your arm and your eyes and your boobs, you're just one HOT MESS!!!

xoxo

[Macaroni]

Oh my goodness. After all this the only phrase that comes to mind is..well..

"Only you, Twenty Four."

Seriously D; Your luck is, in a word, poop.

I hope you have a speedy recovery from here on out; let's hope you can get back to your shenanigans soon because when you're shenanigan...ing...you're generally healthy.

[tonya cinnamon]

sends you hugs and glad your eyes are getting better

[Linda Tustin]

Feel better sweet pea. what an ordeal! (((hugs)))

[Amy in StL]

OMG, that sounds horrible. I bought some lightening skin stuff at Sephora that gave me an all over chemical burn on my face and it wasn't even that bad and the burning and itching made me all whiny. You are definitely not being a downer, think of it as a public (Ha, I typed pubic the first time) service to all of us should we ever start getting those symptoms we'll know to see someone ASAP.

[Kelly]

OMG! Catching up on blog reading. This is so horrible. Hope you are feeling much better now!
GAHHHH!

[BarbaraB]

Holy Cow Suzanne!

What a mess. I am very glad you are healing and feeling better.

Hugs.

[dogmother]

From one non-girly-girl to another...that's a cute jacket. Wish it could fasten around my menopausal waistline. Glad you're doing better. How we all take our vision for granted! Shit. How f...ing scary!