Twenty Four At Heart

A Rare Sighting

About once each summer, a tropical storm will blow north from Mexico to Southern California.  When it does, we get really hot temperatures, humidity (which is uncommon in our desert-like climate), and once in a great while, rain.

I know a lot of you get storms frequently in the summer, but we don't.  It's a big deal when any type of storm comes our way.  This week, we've seen temperatures over 100F/38C every day.  Some areas of Southern California have also seen thunder storms, rain, etc.  

So far, here in Orange County, we haven't had any rain but this was the view from my backyard yesterday afternoon.

 

A thunder cloud!

Are you laughing at me?  

You probably are but, trust me,  a thunder cloud is very unusual for The OC.

I thought the clouds were very majestic and powerful looking, even though they failed to deliver any rain.

A little while later I took a closer shot as the cloud changed shape.

Did you look closely?

Wait ...

How old am I?  

© Twenty Four At Heart

The Valet

About a month ago, I was in a local photography store when a man struck up a conversation with me.  Initially, we started talking about photography, camera lenses, and things of that nature.  I mentioned some photos I had just taken and he asked what I was going to do with them.

In hindsight it was kind of a strange question.  (What does anyone do with their photos?)  Without thinking I answered, "Oh, I'll be posting them next week."

"Post them where?" he inquired.

Careful not to mention the actual name of my blog, I answered, "Oh, I sometimes do a little writing on the Internet."  

(Ahem, almost every day ... but I didn't mention THAT.)

This led to a host of questions as to what I write about. 

I had barely answered, "It's a lifestyle blog - I write about my life here in Orange County, share photos, and .... "

Before I could say another word, the man began talking and I don't think he stopped for the next forty five minutes.

He wanted to share with me his Orange County stories.

As it turns out, the man had owned, for many years, a valet company.  His company serviced a lot of the "best" restaurants, hotels and establishments in Orange County.  He said, "There's absolutely nothing I haven't seen."  

The Valet proceeded to tell me story, after story, after story.  He flung around the names of celebrities and the richest of Orange County's rich.  His stories had the ring of truth.  I can spot a bullshitter a mile away and this man was sincere.

What I learned from him, however, is the rich go to a lot of work, and spare no expense, to have illicit affairs.

I've never had an affair, but I imagine it's a lot of work to keep up with two separate relationships regardless of your finances.  I can barely keep straight the lives of the people who live in my house, let alone adding anyone else into the mix.

The valet told me about celebrities paying him to "hide" their cars so their spouses/friends/acquaintances wouldn't see their cars where they weren't supposed to be - whether it be a hotel or a restaurant.

Can you imagine?

"Excuse me, here's an extra $100 for you to go hide my car until I'm ready to leave."

He also told me stories of people paying him to drive them back to where they were supposed to be in the first place.  That's right - they arrived at a hotel with someone they shouldn't have, presumably enjoyed their rendezvous, and then paid a valet generously to drive them back to wherever their car had been left.

As an example, Jack tells his wife he's at the local sports bar with the guys.  He drives there and leaves his car, visible, in the parking lot.  His girlfriend picks him up and they go to a hotel.  Jack leaves his girlfriend, cozy in bed at the hotel, at 2 a.m. and pays the valet to take him back to his car at the sports bar.  From the sports bar, Jack then drives back home to his wife.

So much planning!

The valet also told me about people who paid his attendants to drive them to other locations.  For example, Mike shows up at a fancy restaurant.  Mike told his wife he has to attend a business dinner there.  Mike pays the valet to park his car in a visible spot.  He then slips the valet an extra $100 to drive him a few blocks away to a nice hotel where he will be meeting his mistress.

I've used men's names in my above examples, but The Valet told me stories revolving around both men and women.  I know affairs are common.  I know rich people in other locations probably do similar things.  It just never occurred to me before that anyone would go to so much effort.

I suppose there's nothing new here, but it's new to me.  

I walked away stunned at the amount of work, deception, money, and effort people put into pulling off an affair.  If it's worth going through that much to spend time with someone other than your spouse - why not just get a divorce?

© Twenty Four At Heart

People Don't Realize

A lot of people don't realize Southern California has a very desert-like climate.

Along with that, comes a lot of desert creatures, especially in the canyons and mountains.

I was reminded of this a few times last week.

First, I noticed this sign as I was leaving Malibu:

My neighbors dog was bit by a rattlesnake a few years ago.  We get them every year when the weather heats up.  It has been very hot lately.

I was reminded again the other night when I parked in one of the local canyons to attend a party.  When I returned to my car, I heard coyotes howling nearby.  It made me walk just a little faster to my car.

I've also had an (overly?) friendly critter hanging around me a lot at home.

 

We get a lot of road runners, but this particular one likes to look in at me through my back/patio glass door while I'm writing.  He'll stare in at me for quite awhile before moving on to catch lizards for his lunch.  Recently, he stood right in front of me and gobbled a lizard down whole.  He ate it head first while it was still wiggling its tail.  

Yummy?

After finishing his lunch, he hopped through the fencing and hung out by our pool for awhile.

 

I suppose that made for a great day in the life of a road runner?

© Twenty Four At Heart

It's Friday!

First of all, I'd like to congratulate:

Kristen with comment #100:  Second time's the charm?? Hopefully!  

Kristen won the Stella and Dot bracelet.  Kristen please email me the mailing address you'd like the bracelet shipped to and I'll get it sent off as soon as possible.  For those of you who didn't win, remember, you can order Stella and Dot jewelry by clicking here.  Thank you to Missy for providing the bracelet for a giveaway.

Moving on ...

It isn't summer if I'm not spending my evenings at the beach. 

I love to arrive around five p.m. and stay until after dark.  It's my absolute (!!) favorite time of day.

Last weekend I took a series of photos with my fairly-old-and-now-out-of-date pocket camera.  They certainly aren't perfect photos, but they'll give you a feel for summer evenings in Orange County.  (There might have been copious amounts of vodka - with a splash or two of cranberry juice - involved in this photo taking session also.)

By the way, these photos were taken at Calafia Beach in San Clemente.

When we arrived, there were still a lot of people enjoying the beach.  (I was accompanied by Briefcase and other assorted family members and friends - we had quite a group!)

It wasn't long, however, until the evening train came by.  It runs (almost) on the sand itself along this stretch of the coastline.

A few minutes later, the lifeguard drove by.  He was announcing to everyone the sun would be setting soon and the lifeguard towers would no longer be manned.  (In other words, swim at your own risk!)

The beach emptied out.  I love having the beach mostly to myself.  

I think, right about then, it was time to refill everyone's drinks and spread the picnic out onto a blanket.  We brought an assortment of cheeses, crackers, a lot of different types of fresh fruit, chips and salsa, baby carrots and hummus, sandwiches, brownies and, and, and ...!

The beach is amazing in the evenings as the sun sets.  The colors of the sky change quickly.  The colors also change substantially depending on which direction you're looking in.

On this particular evening, to the south, the beach looked almost winter-ish and pink as the sun was setting.

To the west, the sky glowed a deep and vibrant orange.

As the sun began dipping below the horizon, pelicans soared in search of their dinner.

And then ...

The moon rose over the ocean making the evening even more spectacular.

© Twenty Four At Heart 

Purple, Purple, And More ... Purple!

I hope everyone had a nice weekend.

I spent the last couple days taking care of a very sick kid.  Apparently there's some type of summer stomach flu going around.  I thought we were going to end up in the ER at one point, but he's doing much better now.  Poor kid - it was a tough few days.  He was really, really, sick.  Please keep your fingers crossed I don't catch it this week as I get ready for, and depart to, New York.

The BlogHer conference is a Big Deal in the Internet world.  A lot of women dress to impress.  They're attending the conference looking for the biggest and best opportunities they can find.

Don't get me wrong, I like opportunities too.  The car accident just changed my perspective a lot.  Life is short and can change on a dime.  I'm at a place in my life where it's also about having fun and, most importantly, being myself.

With 2,400+ people hanging out together, I figured purple streaks in my hair would help me stand out in the crowd.   Last year I put in pink/fuschia streaks, but this year I'm feeling purple.

What do you think?

 

The purple will wash out in a few weeks and then I'll return to my normal blonde locks.

I have to say, I don't think there are any other women with purple hair around here.  It isn't a popular look in the Money Town area.  Most of the women where I live look a lot like The Real Housewives of Orange County.  Oh wait, they ARE The Real Housewives of Orange County.  How could I forget?

Is it any wonder I don't fit in?

On Sunday I ran a few errands and then stopped into a Money Town salon to get a pedicure.  (The talons growing out of my feet were getting a little dangerous, and besides, I HAD to get purple toenail polish to match my purple hair, right?)

In any case, my purple hair caused quite a stir everywhere I went.

The thing about having purple hair, is - I keep forgetting I have it.

People stare at me and I think, "What are they staring at me for?"

Later, I catch a glimpse of my reflection in a window and think, "Ohhhh, THAT!"

It's become an interesting study in human nature.  Some people stare, some comment, some send me scornful looks.

Sheesh!

Hey you, Money Towners ....

Have a sense of humor!  

Lighten up!

Laugh!

Life is short ... why not have some fun?!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Birds of a Feather

A lot of the piers at our beaches have drinking fountains on them.

If fishing is allowed, they also have sinks and faucets for the fishermen/women to clean their fish. 

Believe it or not, I've seen people drink from the fish-cleaning faucets oftentimes too.

Personally, I think I'll continue to take my Sigg bottle with me for drinking my margaritas vodka water at the beach.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Call Me Miss Glamour

In a futile attempt to keep my blonde hair from turning pure white in the summer I wear it on top of my head when I swim.  I don't even attempt to make it look nice; I just throw it into a ponytail holder.  I know it looks ridiculous.  (In case I don't know, my kids remind me of that very fact every time they see me like this.)

The sun and the salt water from our pool (and the ocean), are really tough on my hair so I try to keep it out of the water as much as possible.  Don't worry, when I'm not actually in the pool, I don't walk around like this ... I promise.

OK, I know you want to go back to admiring my beautiful hair style now ....

Wait ....

Did I just publish a photo of myself in a bathing suit?

© Twenty Four At Heart

The Benefits of a Big City

In downtown Los Angeles there's a jewelry district.

No, I haven't visited it in years.  

I tend to like sparkly things.  Its much better for me to stay away from all the trinkets I might be tempted to buy there.

But ...

I have a friend who goes up to the L.A. jewelry district frequently.  She has a little boutique and she finds interesting pieces to offer in her shop.  She's able to buy everything wholesale because she has a resale license.

She bought me these two matching bracelets and gave them to me yesterday.

I wore them stacked together and I won't lie, I love them.

As in . . . a person shouldn't love material things, but they look really cute on, and I love them. 

It almost makes me want to open a boutique just so I have an excuse to go shopping in the jewelry district. 

© Twenty Four At Heart

The 60-40 Club

If there are typos in today's post, please forgive me.  I'm capable of making them any time, but the odds definitely go up when I write while on pain meds.

I've been sitting on this story for a couple weeks and I just knew you would love to read it so I'm going to try to type through pain-med-fog.

I had coffee a couple weeks ago with a long time friend.  Let's call my friend Brian.  (I don't want to use his real name on 24.)  Brian is in his early forties and he lives in Newport Beach.  Brian is very wealthy, but this is Orange County and let's face it - there are always people here who are even richer than the rich.  Brian has worked hard for his money and he's a good guy, although I suppose he does sometimes lose sight of the reality that not everyone lives the lifestyle he does.

For instance, I don't.

Anyway, Brian and I were sitting in a Newport Beach Starbucks when he asked me if I'd been to Popular Restaurant which is in Corona Del Mar (an area of Newport Beach).  I mentioned I had been there, but not in the last year or so.  

Next, Brian asked me if I had heard of the "60-40 Club."

"No ...?" I replied.

Brian snickered.

Brian went on to explain there's a club made up of very wealthy, Newport Beach women who are sixty years old (and up) and forty-something men.  The women are primarily rich divorcees, but there might be a widow or two mixed in.  To be honest, for all I know some of the women might actually be married.

The women hangout at Popular Restaurant on a certain night each week.  The forty year old men in the club are there to enjoy the financial benefits of having sex with a rich woman.  The women pick the men to sleep with (very little sleeping involved), and the men get treated very well financially.

How did my friend Brian know about the club?

He was at Popular Restaurant one night waiting for a friend when one of the women tried to recruit him to the 60-40 club.  

Brian is happily married, but he doesn't wear a wedding ring due to the line of work he's in.  Brian is also an attractive man.  Apparently, Brian looked like a prime 60-40 Club candidate to Ms. Cougar.

What would we think if it were 60 year old wealthy men offering 40 year old women to be spoiled financially in return for sexual favors?

Oh wait, that happens all the time in Money Town, except the 60 year old men are usually more interested in 20-30 year old women.

So what do you think?

Humorous?

Pathetic?

Or maybe you already have a 60-40 Club where you live?

© Twenty Four At Heart

A Mooning Disappointment

Last weekend marked, once again, the second Saturday of July.

What's so special about the second Saturday of July?

Well, for 31 years it has been an Orange County tradition to moon the passing trains on that day each year.  The event is called Mooning Amtrak.

 

I attended the event both last year, and again just last weekend.  If you haven't read my past recaps about Mooning Amtrak, I really suggest you do.  They're very entertaining, especially this one.

Two years ago, over 8,000 people showed up for train mooning and the city of Laguna Niguel, where mooning the train takes place, freaked the hell out.  As a result, last year the city paid an exorbitant amount of money on scare tactic publicity and for a ridiculous, overwhelming, police presence to discourage mooners from showing up.

Apparently Laguna Niguel is getting what they want.  This year only about 100 people came to moon the trains and there were more police "monitoring the crowd" than there were mooners.

It really pissed me off.

Train mooning is harmless fun and a thirty one year tradition.  It's also, in my opinion, a dying tradition.  The police ticket and/or arrest people for drinking in public or frontal nudity and traffic infractions.  The police do let people moon unharrassed, but their very presence scares people away.

Boo hiss Laguna Niguel!

Mooning takes place each year across the street from Mugs Away Saloon.  (The saloon does not sponsor the mooning in any way.)

Mugs Away Saloon is not a classy bar.  Let's take a closer look at the sign they have posted outside their front door.

Last year I walked into the saloon during train mooning, but it was so crowded I walked right out.  This year I walked in, looked around at the photos of tits and nude women on the wall and ...?  Walked right out once again.  

To be honest, I was afraid to touch anything in the saloon.  It's the type of place that makes most biker bars look like the Ritz Carlton.

These are my friends D1 and D2 who accompanied me to Mooning Amtrak.  They're pointing out their asses because they're afraid we might not notice them otherwise.

Have I ever mentioned what great girlfriends I have?  I don't like most women as much as as I like most men, but the women I do like?  Are pure awesome! 

Most of the people at Mooning Amtrak are very nice and just regular, every day, folks.

However, there are always a few people thrown in who make you wonder, WTF?  For instance, this time there was a guy who was very, very, serious about his mooning.  It seemed like, perhaps, he just liked to have his pants off a lot.  I nicknamed him Stroker.

 

Also?

Some of you don't come to visit on weekends and might have missed this photo which I also posted yesterday:

I was interviewed both on and off camera by several different TV and print reporters.  (So was my friend D1 who you see standing next to me in the above photo.)

Cross body purses make my boobs look big.

Oh wait ....

My boobs ARE big!

A few of you have asked me for online links of the interview and to be honest, I'm not sure where it appeared.  I do know ABC was supposed to be one of the stations receiving the feed.  I also know it was out there internationally because Twenty Four At Heart has been going absolutely crazy with insane amounts of traffic since the interview.  (A lot of that traffic has been from within the United States but a ton of it has been from outside of the country as well.)   Also, I've heard from some of my readers in various cities around the world saying they saw me on TV.

I also appear in one interview done by the local Orange County Register.  If you click on this link, you will see the article the Register wrote about train mooning.  At the end of the article, they have a video I appear in, briefly, which you can click on.  It's really not a big deal, but as I said - I don't know where to find the links to the other coverage.

Will I go moon the train again?  Probably not unless the event is resurrected to its previous glory.  I might, however, stop by to take a few photos again next year.

Did I mention ...

Boo! Hiss! Laguna Niguel!

Shame on you for ruining some harmless fun and a long time OC tradition!

By the way, just so you get a feel for how conservative many OC people are, I've copied two of the comments the OC Register received on their mooning article for you to read:

1.  All these people should be arrested for indescent exposure and lewd conduct....If children were also present, they should be charged with child abuse and sexual assault.....Since the gay movement is on the rise, the buttocks area is now a sexual organ and this is why these people should be charged with sex crimes.  These people are the same kind of mentality that say being gay is normal.....They are all immoral people and sinners and should be arrested for sex crimes

2.  These people are disgusting!
And for the OCR to promote their disrespectful behavior, foisting their indecent exposure onto others is wrong.  Why the double standard allowing them to do it when it is actually illegal to bare your privates. Absolutely sure a few go-nads and V-g's are visible from behind!  I have NO RESPECT for these people who show no respect for perfect strangers. How arrogant.

Good God, I'm surrounded by Puritans!  (Puritans on one side and Money Town Swingers on the other!)

Did you notice, along with their close minded attitudes, Puritan-types don't seem to have a very good grasp of basic spelling, grammar and/or punctuation? 

Egads!

© Twenty Four At Heart

A Moment in the Spotlight

Yes, that was me you saw on ABC and assorted other news channels over the weekend.  I was interviewed, both on and off camera, by several reporters while attending the Orange County annual Mooning Amtrak event.

There's nothing more meaningful than having your fifteen minutes of fame revolve around the shapeliness (squishiness?) of your ass.

I'll have more for you regarding the event on Monday!

© Twenty Four At Heart

In Case You're Interested ...

Consider this a catch-all, miscellaneous, post.

There are a few things I want to get "out there" to the Southern California population and even those of you in other locations might also have an interest.

1.   Mooning the Train, an Orange County annual event, will be taking place in the city of Laguna Niguel ALL DAY this Saturday, July 10th!  Parking is always difficult, so please plan ahead if you're able to attend this fun event.  I hope to be there for at least part of the day myself because it is ALWAYS a great time.

My ass *might have* appeared on national news last year.  Shhh!  Don't tell anyone.

(Yes, the city of Laguna Niguel probably DOES hate me right about now ....)

2.  The wonderful, heartwarming, Plasticos Foundation, is holding a Mud Run in Orange County on July 18th at the Irvine Lake.  I can't think of a more deserving organization and I encourage my local readers to show their support.  Even if you're not a runner, this should be a great event to walk and/or watch.  (It's about 3 miles at Irvine Lake)

Remember how I almost accompanied Plasticos to Cambodia?  Well, they recently returned from that trip and it sounds like an amazing time.  They treated a young boy with a cobra bite to his foot!  If you have any interest you can read all about it on the Plasticos Foundation Blog.

3.  Wild Rivers Park in Irvine and Raging Waters in San Dimas contacted me with a discount offer for my readers.  For Wild Rivers, the discount is $5 off a general admission ticket and you can click here to get the coupon.  (OR you can enter the promotion code: SUN2 if you purchase your ticket online here.)

For Raging Waters in San Dimas, the discount is good for $7 off a general admission ticket purchased online or $5 off a general admission ticket purchased at the park.  The coupon is available here.  (OR you can enter the promotion code:  1067 if you purchase your ticket online here.)

To my non-Southern California readers, forgive me for mentioning these local events/offers today.  I'll be back to normal posting ASAP!

© Twenty Four At Heart

I Might Be a Little Flaky

If you've been reading here for any length of time you know I'm friends with some great people at Pacific Center for Plastic Surgery in Huntington and Newport Beach.

And by friends, I mean just that.  I love the people there and unless they're really good at faking it, I think they like me too.  

(Can you imagine, there are people who actually LIKE me?)

Several months ago, the PCPS aesthetician, Pam, offered to let me try some of her services.

I've mentioned before, I'm not very girly.

I don't get facials, I don't really do anything, other than get my hair done every six weeks and throw on some mascara each morning.  I told Pam I wouldn't even know what to try.  She suggested I get a Vitalize Peel.

"A what?" I asked.

Pam went on to explain some stuff I didn't really grasp and then mentioned the peel would make me "flaky" for a few days after I had it.

I've been busy.  Also, I didn't want to be "flaky" for my daughter's graduation or my anniversary weekend.

Yesterday, however, I finally paid a visit to Pam for a complimentary Vitalize Peel.  (Which, by the way, I didn't realize would be complimentary - thank you SO much Pam!)

For those of you who are interested, a Vitalize Peel normally costs $175.

First of all, let me explain the Vitalize Peel is a a simple aesthetician procedure which only takes about 20 minutes.  This is not one of those burn the skin off your face, watch it ooze and scab for a few weeks and then hope your skin grows back procedures.

Because if it was?

I wouldn't have done it.

This is what Pam's "office" looks like.

 

Pam told me to get comfortable and stepped out of the room for a minute.

Instead, I snooped around and this is what I saw:

Those are the tools of the trade, I suppose.

And no, I don't know what any of that stuff is. 

Pam returned and told me to get ready.  I started getting a little nervous.

What had I gotten myself into this time?

I really can't believe the ugly photos I share of myself sometimes, but there you go!

(And, by the way, I was just goofing around - I was never worried because I knew Pam knows her stuff even if I don't!)

Pam put a solution on my face.  She told me what it was, but I don't remember.  It was Peel Stuff - is that good enough?

It didn't hurt.  She was just wiping a liquid onto my face.  After awhile it started feeling warm-ish.  She handed me a little fan to blow on my face in case I became uncomfortable, but it wasn't bad at all.  

I asked Pam what caused the warmth.

She explained I was experiencing a slow penetration.

You can probably imagine my response to a comment like that? 

Am I the only one?

Or does your mind also immediately jump in the gutter at the thought of a warm, slow, penetration?

 

I might have shocked Pam with my humor.  (Who ME?)

In fact, Pam might not ever invite me back. 

(But I think she will ....)

A minute or two later I was done.

 

Now what?

Well, Pam told me in about two days my skin will get a little flaky.  It sounds like it will be sort of like a bad case of dry skin.  She said I won't have sheets of skin peeling off the way you do with a sunburn ... just little flakes.  After a few days, the flakiness will stop.

(To be honest, my skin looks awesome right now from the treatment but I haven't started flaking yet.)

What is a Vitalize Peel supposed to do?

Well, it's supposed to help improve your skin's texture and tone.  It increases collagen production.  (Yay for collagen!)  It helps improve acne, hyperpigmentation and melasma.

Does anyone know what melasma is?  Because I don't.

The part I like, however, is the fact it's supposed to smooth fine lines and wrinkles.  I definitely have a few of those.  Also, it works well for all skin types so anybody can have a Vitalize Peel.

I can't wait to see how pretty my skin looks once I'm done being a flake for a few days.  

Will I ever, truly, be done being a flake?

Probably not.

On the other hand, if you want a fun skin treatment you should give Pam a call at the Pacific Center for Plastic Surgery.  She's got all sorts of tricks to make you more beautiful.  Pam made my experience a lot of fun and she really knows her stuff.

Thank you Pam!

xo

© Twenty Four At Heart

The Beach Life

I had a friend from the Midwest ask me recently what my life is "really" like.

"Um, pretty boring," I answered.

"No, it's not," she countered.

???

While I pondered what to say to THAT, she went on and on about why my life is not boring.

It's always good to keep informed about one's own life.  

She concluded with, "You can even go to the beach whenever you want.  What do you do when you go to the beach?"

Oh ... the beach life .....

Well, first of all, I don't live in this house:

 

Nor do I live in any of these:

I live about twenty minutes from the beach in a little canyon.  My house is very modest by South Orange County standards.

But yes, I do spend a lot of time at the beach.

What I actually DO at the beach varies.

I like the beach in all of its seasons, and in all types of weather.

One thing I don't do is lay out in the sun tanning.

If I have to be at the beach during the hottest times of the day (something I try to avoid), you'll find me in the shade, with a hat on, protecting my skin from the sun.

(That is, unless I'm swimming, or in the water body surfing, boogie boarding, etc.) 

I'm a melanoma survivor.  Melanoma, for those of you who don't know, is the deadliest form of skin cancer.  In fact, melanoma is one of the most deadly forms of cancer period.  It has a nasty habit of striking down people in my family.  I do love the beach, but I'm not a sun woshiper.

I'm often at the beach shooting pictures.

Sometimes I'm at the beach walking ... and walking ... and walking even further.

I storm watch at the beach - I love the ocean during a good storm.  Unfortunately, we don't get many storms in Orange County.

I also love the beach when the fog is thick and the sand is deserted.

I like to explore tide pools, but I never, ever, remove anything from them.

Meeting friends on the sand around 5 p.m. for cocktails and a picnic while watching the sunset is also a favorite activity in the summer.

Our family activities at the beach vary also.

Briefcase is a runner.  He's usually either napping or running while he's at the beach.

My daughter is usually reading, or napping, or sunbathing, when she's at the beach.

My oldest son is most likely checking out the girls while he's at the beach.  (Or swimming, or running, or throwing a football with friends.)

My youngest son plays high school baseball.  He's an infielder and a pitcher.  

Last time he was with me at the beach, he made this tower of rocks:

 

A few minutes later I turned to find him "pitching" rocks at his rock tower, trying to knock it over.  He was much more successful at this "game" than the non-baseball player friend he was with.  I flashed back to when he was about three years old and would spend hours at the beach "pitching" a tennis ball to us.  He's been baseball-obsessed his entire life.

Some things never really change.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Summer Weekend

 

This is the first weekend of summer vacation for us since school just ended on Wednesday.  I hope you're enjoying your weekend as much as I plan to enjoy mine.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Beach Etiquette 101

I spent a good part of yesterday celebrating Father's Day at Aliso Beach in Laguna.

 

Most of you already know I'm a beach rat.

I grew up on beaches, I went to college at a campus overlooking the beach, and I've spent a good part of my adult life on the beach too.

Summer is upon us, and to be honest, it's the time of year I dislike most at many beaches.

Why?

Because summer is when we get inundated with tourists, many of whom have never seen a beach (!) or so much sand (!) or the ocean (!) with WAVES (!) before.  And although, I hope each and every person on this earth has the opportunity to enjoy the beach at some point in their life, it would be so much more enjoyable for all of us, if someone taught a class in beach etiquette.

Such a class may not exist, but I'm here to offer a few tips for any of you who might find yourself at a beach ever this summer.

•  Screaming at the waves gets old really fast and, surprisingly, isn't at all necessary.  Anyone past the age of two gets a free pass to scream at ONE wave and then you're done.  Because, guess what?  After one wave - will come another!  And another!  And yet another!  I doubt if you want to hear ME scream for hours on end, and I'd find my time at the beach so much more enjoyable if I didn't have to listen to you scream either.

•  Letting your kids run over other people's beach blankets (or right next to them kicking sand all over them) is a beach no-no.  Even harder to understand is why you stand there and watch this happen repeatedly and think it's okay?  It's really not that hard to teach kids to walk (not run) around other people's stuff.  My mom taught me, I taught my kids - it's a really easy thing to teach as a parent.  I know you think sand in the face is adorable when it comes from your kids (or you?), but ... you're wrong.

•  It's not okay to announce loudly you are about to use the ocean as a toilet, or to tell your kids to either.  I shouldn't have to explain this, should I?  There are restrooms at the beach for a reason - use them.  I don't want to swim in your piss and neither does anyone else.

•  Don't surf in the areas designated for swimmers and don't swim in the areas designated for surfing.  Think about it.  Do you value having your head on your shoulders?  Safety always comes first at the beach.

•  If you aren't a strong swimmer, stay out of the ocean.  Currents are often rough.  Waves do unexpected things like crash right on you.  If you aren't a strong swimmer, make a lifeguard's job easier and enjoy the view from the sand.

•  Leave the marine life alone.  Please give the baby seal space instead of scaring it to death if it takes a walk on the beach.  Don't try to "catch" a dolphin when you see it playing.   (It won't work - and where do you think you're going to put it anyway?  In your bathtub?)  Taking hermit crabs home results in their death within 24 hours.  I'm glad you're excited by the marine life ... enjoy it from a distance and leave it in it's natural habitat.

•  Wear a bathing suit which fits.  I think it's great to feel confident about your body no matter what size you happen to be, but wearing a suit five sizes too small for you is NOT an attractive look.  This is true whether you're male or female and regardless of how thin/fat you are.  Few of us have the bodies of models, but we are all capable of wearing a suit which fits.

•  Playing catch, or football, or paddle ball, is great - but not when you're disrupting everyone else.  Find a part of the beach with less foot traffic, or where you won't be in anyone's way.  If the ball keeps hitting people in the head, you've picked the wrong spot.

•  Don't litter on the beaches.  There are trash cans everywhere - use them.  If you litter at places as beautiful as our beaches you are, quite simply, a lazy asshole.  (Burying your trash in the sand is still littering, by the way.)

•  Discreetly checking someone out is okay, ogling is not.  You really don't want to be the beach perv, do you?

•  No sex on the beach.  Well, no sex on a public beach during daylight hours.  If you want to have sex on the beach, find an isolated/private beach or visit a beach at night when you won't be making a spectacle of yourself in front of the entire world and a lot of kids.

•  If you want to listen to music, wear earbuds/headphones.  The music you love and are cranking at full volume?  Is the very music someone right next to you hates.  If you're with a big group and want music for a beach party, keep the volume at a level that won't bother the people nearby.  It's all about being considerate.

•  The rules posted for each particular beach DO apply to you.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Tote-ly Awesome!

The other day, I mentioned I was on the hunt for a summer tote bag.

I wanted something big enough to make a good travel/airplane/BlogHer bag.  (There's a ton of swag handed out at BlogHer and I wanted a bag big enough to stash some of it in.)

I also wanted it to have enough pockets so the things I need on a moment's notice won't get lost in it - which is often a problem with big bags.  Have you ever hunted around the bottom of a tote for hours minutes on end just trying to find your keys or cell phone?

I wanted it be relatively inexpensive too.  I'll use it a lot this summer, but it will really take a beating (!) with several of the trips I have planned.  I imagine this bag will be trashed by the end of the summer, so why spend a ton of money on it?

I realize the meaning of inexpensive varies by individual, but I live in a place where women routinely drop a couple thousand dollars on a handbag without blinking an eye.

I didn't want to do that.

My oldest son is working for Nordstrom this summer.  I stopped by to say hi to him yesterday.  I found this bag as I walked in the store and made sure he got the commission for selling it to me.  (Might as well keep it in the family, right?)  It comes in a variety of colors, but I picked yellow.  It said "summer" to me and yellow always makes me happy.

Here's a closer look ...

There are a total of five smaller pockets inside for easy access to your cell phone, keys, business cards, etc.  You can see some of them in this photo:

   

There's an exterior zippered pocket on the back too.  The bottom has little metal feet to keep the bag from getting dirty and scuffed up.

It's lightweight which is an important factor for me.  I use my left arm for everything out of necessity and can't carry a purse on my right side.  The lighter the better!

I was so happy to find this bag.  It seems like it will be just perfect for what I need.  

© Twenty Four At Heart

What I've Learned Lately

It's never too late to learn something new.  I've been reminded of this a lot lately, and I thought I'd take this opportunity to share with you some of my recent observations.

•  You will feel positively ancient when your child graduates from college even if you did give birth to her when you were only three.

•  All cottage cheese is not created equal.

•  A friend is not always the person they've pretended to be and it hurts deeply to come to this realization. 

•  Your air conditioning WILL break when the temperature exceeds 90 F and not a moment sooner.

•  Some drugs are not meant to be mixed with wine and you will, of course, realize this while in the company of your in-laws.

•  If you get a small, red, dry, itchy spot on your boob and you ask Twitter what it might be, you won't want to hear the (horrifying) responses.

•  You should never google images of diseases people on Twitter tell you about or the images you see will be burned into your brain cells for life.

•  No matter how long you live in The OC you will continue to be amazed at how many OC stereotypical people you encounter every single day.

•  Internet Trolls will continue to stalk you even though they say they hate you, will never read you again, and are going away forever.

•  Carbohydrates are highly addictive.

•  If you watch The Bachelorette you will wonder why you're wasting your time (and brain cells), but you will find it difficult to turn off anyway.

•  It will be highly disappointing to find out your son's employee discount at Nordstrom doesn't apply to you because you're not his "dependent."

•  Twitter will instantly be over capacity when there's a sizable earthquake nearby and you will not be able to respond to those inquiring about your safety.

•  There are, in all probability, more fake boobs and asses in Southern California than in the rest of the world combined.

•  If you purchase the new Miraclebody Jeans, you *might* decide they don't really make you look ten pounds thinner as promised.

•  When an old flame sees your new Twitter avatar/Facebook photo and remarks you still look hot, it will feel good even if you did photoshop your wrinkles away.

•  Summer league baseball should not be allowed to begin before the school year has ended.  I say this out of concern for the sanity of baseball parents everywhere.

•  One of the best things about returning home from a trip is seeing the joy and love your dog(s) bestow on you when you walk in the door.

•  Celery sticks and egg whites are not the least bit addictive.

•  When you return from a vacation it will take more days to get caught up than you were actually away for.  (This only applies to women and single dads - or should I just say this doesn't apply AT ALL to Briefcase?)

•  If a shallow OC woman comments on your wedding ring with the sole purpose of getting you to compliment her on the enormous rock on her finger, the best approach is to smile sweetly and ask her where she found such a big cubic zirconia.

© Twenty Four At Heart

What I Love About Summer

Technically summer doesn't arrive until June 21st.  My youngest won't be done with school until June 23rd.

And yet?

It already feels like summer.  My thoughts are of summer, the air feels like summer, and yes, it even smells like summer.

Today, I thought I'd share with you a list of my favorite things about summer.

•  The scent of jasmine everywhere I turn.  There is no other scent that says "summer" to me quite as much.  (And yes, I have jasmine sprinkled in various spots throughout my yard.)  Maybe this is a Southern California thing?  I'm not sure - but oh, how I love the smell of jasmine blooming!

•  Late nights and late mornings.  I'm a night owl by nature.  Unfortunately, I have to wake up at six a.m. most mornings to get PR off to school.  I love getting a break from such early mornings.  I can live to my own bio-rhythms in the summer.

•  Listening to my "Summer" playlist on my iPod.  Summertime by Bon Jovi, lots of Rebelution (very California-ish music!), Jack Johnson, and a host of other favorite summer tunes. 

•  A slower pace.  Life moves slower during the summer.  I like it!

•  The beach from 5 p.m. on.  It's my favorite time of the day at the beach and there's nothing better in life (for me) than arriving just as everyone else is leaving.  It's even better when I'm meeting my friend Nike there with a cooler full of ... refreshments.

 

•  Pool-time.  I love swimming.  I love hanging out at our pool.  I even love the constant noise of pool parties.  

 

(And yes I did behead people in the above photo to make them unidentifiable!)

•  Getting caught up on my reading.  While hanging out at the pool, or beach, or waiting around in aiports or planes, (which I seem to do more often during the summer), I get caught up on all the books I haven't had time to read.  I take my Kindle everywhere with me.  (By the way - a huge thank you to all my Kindle readers!  Wow!  I love you guys!)

•  Barbecuing.  Okay, I know for many of you this is called "cooking out" and for others of you it's called "grilling" but we say we're having a barbecue.  We tend to do this year round in Orange County, but in the summer it seems to be an almost nightly occurence.  We also tend to eat outdoors on our patio or deck more often.

•  The longer days.  I love daylight savings time.  It's so nice to enjoy all those hours of daylight!

•  Night swims.  I know I mentioned the pool earlier, but night swims deserve a category all of their own.  I love swimming at night with the moon and stars reflecting off the water and the darkness of the mountains looming over me.  Absolutely love it!

•  Summer fruit.  Nectarines, watermelon, peaches, plums, casaba melon ... they all taste of summer.

These are just a few of the things which come immediately to mind when I think "summer."

What do you look forward to most this time of year? 

© Twenty Four At Heart

Not A Bad Weekend

I'm writing this through a bit of a blur.

I overdid it with my swimming over the weekend so now I'm under the influence of pain meds.

It was SO worth it though.  I love being in the pool.  I got a little too enthused, I suppose, and tried to increase the use of my arm faster than I should have.  I'll feel better in a few days.  I'll take it easy until then, but I'm sure I'll be back in the pool every day regardless.

(If nothing else, I'll be seeing the pain management doc this afternoon and I'm sure he'll be interested in checking me out.)

Um, I didn't mean he will be checking ME out, I meant he will be checking my ARM out.

Although, I don't know - maybe he will be checking me out?  

I'll let you know either way.

So, let me give you a quick recap of the last few days ...

I'm firing the new PT.

Yes, I am.  

I gave her three tries and we are not a good match.  

First of all, she has not yet touched me - at all.  Each visit, she hands me a piece of paper showing me things to do when I get home and that's my pt session.  After she hands me a paper, she explains the paper to me for a good thirty minutes.  Not one paper has shown me anything I haven't already been doing for nearly four years.  Also, every exercise she's handed me a paper on is an activity I moved past long ago ... the activities are way too easy (immediate post-surgery type of activities).  

Aren't physical therapists supposed to be hands on?

And yes, I've tried communicating my thoughts/needs/frustrations to her but she doesn't seem to hear me.

Second, she talks to me as if I'm three.  I.Can't.Handle.It!

Third, she informed me I'm an "overachiever" and told me I'm expecting way too much out of myself.

(The Torturer just spewed coffee all over himself reading that!)

I may be an overachiever in some areas of my life.  My pain levels, however, keep my overachieving in check regarding my arm.  She, however, expects nothing from me and seems to think I should also expect nothing from myself.

You know me better than that, don't you?

If I don't think I'm ever going to make improvements - who the hell will?

Anyway - enough said ...

I need a new PT.

And no, I don't yet know who it will be or where I will find him/her.

I think I need a him though.  I like men.

Moving on -

It was hot here this weekend.  I managed to get a lot of things done this weekend (being the overachiever that I am), but when I wasn't busy overachieving this pretty much sums up my weekend:

 

I bought two $19 rafts at Costco.  They're so comfortable and they even have a place to hold my lemonade and vodka ice water.  It's very relaxing after I'm tuckered out from swimming.

Have I mentioned we have the happiest Golden Retriever in the world?

I think we do.

I must have thrown his football for him a few hundred times this weekend.

The weekend ended on a nice note.  We had a couple gift cards to Fleming's Steakhouse in Newport Beach so Briefcase, the two boys, and I enjoyed a great dinner there on Sunday night.  I ordered king crab legs (no butter - just lemon juice) and grilled asparagus.  It was low carb, low fat, healthy and delicious.  I really felt like enjoying a glass of wine with dinner, but I couldn't mix alcohol with the pain meds I needed on Sunday.  Oh well!  

(As an aside, Fleming's has a Bikinitini on their menu - it's a martini with only 99 calories.  I love the name they chose!)

What should I do to celebrate when I hit the twenty pound weight loss mark?  I'm not there yet, but hopefully I will be soon.  I'm all about rewarding myself - it keeps me motivated.

I need ideas/suggestions though.

What do you think?  

What would you consider a good (not too expensive) reward?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Heat Wave!

It's supposed to be cookin' hot in Orange County this weekend!

Beach?

Pool?

Both?

Decisions, decisions, decisions!

© Twenty Four At Heart 

A Visit With The Torturer

I still get a lot of people inquiring about The Torturer via emails, comments and tweets.

He's alive and doing fine.

Those of you who have read here for a long time probably have an understanding of my relationship with him, but newer readers may not.  Come to think of it, I'm not sure The Torturer and I understand our relationship ourselves.

Hate?

Love?

A mixture of both?

For my newer readers, let me see if I can explain briefly.  The Torturer and I have known each other for 15 years.  During the last four years, we have spent more time together than any two people probably should.  It was primarily in the form of him torturing me (he was my physical therapist - I was in very bad shape).  

There were other things going on too, however.

For instance, there were numerous days of me sobbing on him (in extreme pain).  Yes, we're talking The Ugly Cry with snot dripping from my nose.  The Torturer would hand me kleenex after kleenex, seemingly un-fazed by my tears.

And there was laughter - a surprising amount of laughter considering the circumstances.  

There was also The Torturer getting permission from my surgeon so he could be in the operating room during my worst surgery.  That is something I will be forever grateful for.  It was a little easier to go through because I knew he was there.

And there was always ...

And I mean ALWAYS, an incredible amount of banter and shit-giving back and forth between us.

We are friends.

We also have oil and water personalities.

We get along, we fight, we makeup, we laugh, and then we piss each other off all over again.

It's just the nature of our relationship.

He is the most difficult man on earth not an easy personality.

And, of course, I am ... a piece of cake?

* Ahem *

But most of all, we are friends and I think we will be for life - whether either one of us wants to be or not. 

It's just as simple as that and twice as complicated.

When my physical therapy with The Torturer ended rather abruptly last February, I think we both walked away with very hurt feelings.

Since then, we've been communicating via emails, text messages and occasional phone calls.  I've asked him for arm advice, and I've given him computer advice ... and on and on it goes.

On Tuesday morning, it was finally time to break the hurt-feelings-stand-off in person.  After some negotiating (meaning he refused to buy me lunch), I sauntered into my old PT, which he and his partners own, as if I'd never left.   

"Can someone please give me a heat pack and a massage?" I asked, before The Torturer even had time to acknowledge my presence.

He might have snorted and rolled his eyes so I went on to demand request a hug.

My visit interrupted The Torturer while he was working on a patient with a shoulder problem.  (How ironic!)

I jumped onto a neighboring table, plugged in a heating pad, tossed it over my shoulder and arm and began chatting away.

The Torturer, who learned long ago not to be surprised by anything I do, attempted to act as if my behavior was quite normal.  Which, I suppose, it is - for me.

"You need to stop sending me bills," I informed him.

"This is how it works, 24.  If you pay your bills, they stop coming," he replied and laughed.

I rolled my eyes.

A minute later, to the amusement of others in the room, we were back in full bantering mode.  It was as if we hadn't been apart for a day.

Some things never change.

And oh yes, we hurled insults at each other too because that is what we do, and we know exactly how to irk one another.  Verbal sparring is our primary form of communication.

At one point he retorted, "You're SUCH an OC woman!"

I raised my eyes in shock at this extreme insult.

"I am NOT!  And if you weren't so overly SENSITIVE ..." I replied.

The big news with The Torturer is - he's suffering with shoulder pain lately.

Ok, I admit, I burst out laughing when I heard, but only because I thought he was joking.

"I know, I know - you're thinking karma's a bitch, aren't you?" he asked.

Well ....?

And I admit I giggled a little when he complained to one of the PTs who work for him that his shoulder hurt enough to keep him awake one night.

"Annoying, isn't it?" I inquired a bit too sweetly.

I thought back to the many times I dragged myself into PT utterly exhausted from being up all night with pain only to have The Torturer, unsympathetically, demand I work harder.

Of course, you do know I would never wish even a fraction of the pain I've experienced on anyone.  And yet, if The Torturer HAS TO experience a little pain in his life, I might find it somewhat ironic that it's in his shoulder.

I mean, isn't that just a teeny, tiny, bit ... funny?

A new patient entered the room.  She too, is a shoulder patient.  (But, you know, a normal shoulder patient unlike the train wreck that is my arm/shoulder/neck/chest/upper back.)  She began talking to The Torturer about her shoulder and didn't stop.  Seriously, I don't think she ever took a breath.

I sighed.

I walked over to a floor mat.  I got out a big exercise ball and began putting myself through my old PT workout.

I saw The Torturer give me a somewhat incredulous glance from across the room.

I ignored him, of course, and went right on with my stretching.

(Do I dare mention it was more of a workout than I've gotten with my new PT in my first two visits combined?  I don't want to inflate The Torturer's ego or anything, but he is an excellent PT.)

When I was done I glanced over at The Torturer.  The woman was still spewing nonstop words from her mouth and showed no sign of coming up for air.

"I'm going to go check my email on your computer," I informed him as I walked past.

He shook his head in resigned exasperation.

What can I say?  I feel very at home in that building.  I spent a huge chunk of the last four years there, after all.  Besides, I remember it annoyed some of the office staff when I hung out in The Torturer's office and I live to annoy people.

(heh - just kidding!  sorta!)

The rest of my visit was pretty uneventful.  I talked to The Torturer about my concerns with my new PT.  As much as it pains me to admit it, I do respect his opinion and I also know he understands my arm situation better than anyone else.  And, oh yes, as much as it pains him to admit it (and it does - a lot!), I know he cares about me and my recovery.

Is it still called a recovery if you never fully recover?

Before I left, I made a suggestion.

"You should give me a PT session ... um, for free." I added sweetly.

"FREE?!" he bellowed in mock outrage.

I giggled, "Yes!  FREE!"

"You would have to ask your physical therapist if that was okay," he said with just a touch of hurt in his voice.

"No, I wouldn't," I replied with a defiant grin.

He sighed and began walking down the hall.

"Hey, I need a hug before I leave," I called after him.

Grudgingly, he returned and squashed me in a bear hug.

"I'll see you for that free PT session soon," I called after him as he walked away.

I'm pretty sure I heard a "Hmmmph!" from him in the distance but I could swear he was smiling.

How much do you want to bet, my visit totally made his day?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Money Town - Live!

Yesterday, I spent about two hours in the Money Town Starbucks.  The place was packed with people.  As I sat there, sipping a nonfat cappuccino, extra hot please, I took surreptitious notes as fast as I could.  I'm sharing (most of) my notes, exactly as they were written, with you today.  I don't know if this whole exercise will give you a better feel for Money Town, or - more likely - a better feel for how my brain works?  

In any case, here you go and if you don't like snark, skip this post!

• Look! Older man with very dark, dyed black hair.  Reading newspaper.  Very fake hair.  Looks awful!

• Middle aged, good looking man w/teenaged daughter checking me out.  Not too subtle buddy!  Completely ignoring his daughter.  Staring at my bionic nipples.  What a dad!

• Good looking man, probably 40, tripped and spilled coffee while staring at his blackberry.

• Oh!  A tramp!  With her tramp stamp hanging out.  No panties.  Five inch heels.  Designer sunglasses inside.  It's still foggy out - you don't even need sunglasses OUTSIDE right now, let alone in Starbucks.

• Local worker in gardening clothes.  Getting coffee before heading into Money Town to work.  

• Ooh!  Very hawt!  Approximately 30 yrs., blondish, tan, nice blue eyes.  Smiles at me.  Sat behind me.  Glancing at my notes.  (I try to cover them - he laughs!)  *BLUSHING*

• MT (Money Town) woman.  Bleached blonde hair.  Fake boobs, botoxed face, filler in lips, maybe her skin is fake too?  Fake designer purse.  Nothing looks real.  She's an illusion .....

• Can Hawt Guy see my notes?

• Hmmm.  Woman late fifties wearing hideous Christmas sweater with lint all over it.  Um, isn't today June 1st?  Sheesh!  It would be a very poor decision to wear that sweater in December, what the hell is she thinking?

• Money just walked in.  Streaming from her pores.  Mid-fifties I'd guess, looks 40.  Very nipped and tucked.  Six carats (at least) on ring finger.  Bling everywhere.  Designer sunglasses, designer $4,000 purse - all real.  Having a snit over her coffee order.  No surprise.

• Businessman with lacoste shirt tucked in.  Gut is way too big to be tucking that shirt in.  Air of self importance and a fancy leather folder with him to prove it.  Needs bigger shirt.

• Handsome, bald, shorts, flip flops - arrived in his porsche.

• Everyone in the room has had their teeth whitened or has veneers.

• Man about 60, basketball shorts, Angels baseball hat and slippers on.  Really?

• Couple, not married.  He can't stop staring at her ass as she's adding cream to her coffee.  He is about to take a bite out of her ass!  Seriously, he wants to have sex with her rt here in Starbucks.  They must both be married to other people.  She does not seem to notice he's about to bite her ass.

• Whoa!  Very orange, fake tan just walked in.  Must not have much money because the rich don't use the cheap fake tanning creams they get professionally sprayed.

• OMG!  Man with big head and gigantic THING growing out of his head.  GIGANTIC!  Ewww!  Freaking out!  What IS it??  Reminds me of a movie ... what movie?  Can goiters grow out of the top of a skull?  A hat would be a very good idea.  Someone should suggest it!

• Little girl in purple and green tutu straight from ballet.  Adorable!

• A lot of golf shirts on the MT men, a lot of bling-y sandals and designer purses and sunglasses on the MT women.

• Looking out window at parking lot and this is what I see:  Porche, BMW, Audi, Mercedes, Mercedes, Lexus, Porsche, Lamborghini, BMW, Land Rover, Nissan (??), Lexus, Corvette, Mercedes ...

• Man (35?) with big purse (?), too big Hawaiian shirt (it says Aloha! and Hawaii), too big pants, too big watch ... Whose clothes did he steal borrow?  Nothing fits!

• Woman I knew a few years back walks in.  Ignores me.  Bitch.  She looks like hell.  Good.

• Whoa!  A woman who looks remarkably like a bulldog!  Not even joking.  Can't she do something about that?  Her jowls are hanging on the floor.  I mean, there are situations where plastic surgery IS a must!

• Group of men at outside table smoking, drinking coffee.  One has an adorable boxer puppy.  Worried puppy will have secondhand smoke issues.  Does that happen?

• Where is the guy with the yellow corvette and purple short-shorts who usually hangs here in the mornings?

• Ewww!  Gorilla man!  I have NEVER seen so much hair on a human being before.  A turquoise bracelet to draw attention to the forest which are his arms.  Long, long hair and bushels of it everywhere!  He's with a woman whose entire legs are tattooed.  Every inch.  Must.Look.Away!

• 9:30 a.m.  Not a free seat in this (very large) Starbucks.  Standing room only and it is PACKED!

• There have never been so many bleach blondes with fake boobs in one place at one time!

• One of my friends is here!  *Waving*  Said hi, met her friends.  They're amused at what I'm doing here ....

• A woman in a pink tennis skirt is eating a banana quite provocatively.  She has every man's attention in the room.

• A man in a blue shirt wants to know what I'm doing.  "Working," I say as I cover up what I'm doing.  (Writing snark!)

• Pro-ball player.  Damn.  Can't remember his name and I think I've met him more than once.  I'm so bad with the sports guys and Money Town has a lot of them.  Briefcase would know who he is, but I just smile and nod at him.  He is very, very, TALL.  He smiles back - recognizes me too.

• Man in ugly green jacket with wide ugly orange stripe wants anyone with a vagina me.  Not in your wildest dreams, buddy.  He's rebuffed.

• Delinquent teenagers at outside table making out.  Wearing Oakley sunglasses, playing with iPhones when not making out.  Should be in school.  Lots of tongues in lots of ears.  Where are their parents?

• Businessman cleaning up creamer station before he can pour his cream into coffee.  He's meticulous.  And?  OCD.  He can't stop cleaning.  He doesn't work here.

• Hawt Guy is still sitting behind me and we keep sneaking glances at what each other is doing.  I think he finds my note taking amusing.

• Man in ugly green jacket is now hitting on woman dressed for arctic storm.  We don't get arctic storms in Orange County.  She seems intrigued with him.  It's a match made in heaven!

• Aww!  Dad with two kids.  Cute kids, cute dad.  Very sweet.

• Woman in too-tight Juicy sweats.  All bright pink, including pink metallic purse.  Extreme high heels which she can't walk in.  (with sweats?)  Sliding her feet in an awkward attempt to walk.

• Woman, 30-ish in black mini-cocktail dress with lots of sequins.  It's 9:45 a.m!  Plunging neckline.  Tacky jewelry.  Walk of shame from a MT man's house the night before?  Came home with him from a bar probably and has stopped at Starbucks on her way home this morning.

• OCD man is still cleaning creamer station.  He's gone through a bazillion napkins and might stay there all day if someone doesn't make him stop.  I want to grab the napkins from him and yell STOP!

• Three MT young (13-15 yr old) teen girls.  Tiffany jewelry, designer purses and sunglasses, bleached hair, skin tight clothes, revealing/cleavage enhancing shirts.  Are their MT moms proud?

• MT men (late 50's) are ogling the underage MT teens.  Can we all say DISGUSTING at the same time?  How about if I just call them pedophiles?

• It's 10:02 a.m. and I've had about all I can stand of the Money Town crowd.  The Torturer just texted me and I'm off to pay him a visit.  I'll tell you how THAT goes tomorrow!

© Twenty Four At Heart

The Holiday Weekend

If you are reading this on Tuesday morning, you might be interested to know I've parked myself at the Money Town Starbucks for a couple hours.  I'll be writing (and Tweeting) about what I observe while I'm there and hopefully have it published for tomorrow's post.  

If you live in South Orange County and are familiar with the Money Town Starbucks, please stop by and say hello if you have the chance.  I think I'll be arriving there sometime around 8 a.m. and staying for about two hours.

I really enjoyed my holiday weekend.  I hope you did too!

I had all three of my kids home for the first half of the long weekend.  For those of you who still have young kids, let me tell you it's quite a treat as they get older and you're able to have them all at home at the very same time.

I'm having a hard time believing this myself, but I'm now the mom of a 21 year old!

How the hell did THAT happen?

I gave birth as a three year old, that's how.

It's a miracle, plain and simple!

We spent the weekend celebrating my daughter's birthday.  Celebrating involved a lot of tequila.  Yes, I even did a few celebratory shots.  (And no, I did not take any pain meds while drinking!)

I asked my daughter, "How can you be 21 when I'm only 24?"

She asked, "Mom, aren't you supposed to embrace getting older?"

I replied, "I suppose I will once I DO get older, but I'm still 24!"

She might have rolled her eyes and laughed.

(It must be tough explaining to your friends that your mom is only three years older than you.)

So, this is what I did over the last few days.

Beach - San Clemente this time:

 

Lunch at Fisherman's:

Margaritas at our favorite Mexican restaurant:

(Sorry, I had to cut everyone else out of this photo - and yes, this was straight from the beach, hence I look terrible!)

Not pictured:  Tequila shots, dancing on table tops (you think I'm kidding?) and other forms of My Mom's Not a Great Role Model behavior.

Isn't it great when your kids get old enough so you can be an immature adult with them?  

Ice cream birthday cake (I've blurred her name out of the photo):

Sipping coffee on our deck staring at my mountains:

 

A lot of time poolside:

I was very excited because I found a low-carb margarita mix which I enjoyed over the weekend.  (So many people have asked me about this already on Twitter.  It's made by Finest Call and is available at BevMo.)  

I also made myself my own low-carb single serving cake which only had 6 carbs in it.  Tequila doesn't have any carbs, although it does have calories and like all alcohol, it slows weight loss substantially.  However, considering the weekend of partying and fun, I think I did quite well on my new low-carb style of eating.  I didn't lose an ounce, but I didn't gain an ounce either and I consider that a success.

(By the way, I made the BEST dinner on the grill for Memorial Day - I may have to share the two recipes I used sometime soon.  Nom nom nom!!!)

I also loved being back in the pool for the first time in months.  The pool is the one place where I can move my arm a little more freely.  It becomes weightless and the water lifts it for me.  I love being in the pool because I feel "normal" again.

My arm is really weak and I've lost a lot of ground in both my strength and my range of motion.  On Sunday I could only swim two laps (using a modified breaststroke) which is terrible, even for me.  I grabbed a kick-board so I could rest my arm, and kicked my way through several more laps.  

The good news?  I was only a little sore from my first attempt at swimming this year.  Maybe the new pain medication is beginning to kick in?!  Let's hope!

Yesterday, I tried round two of swimming.  I did quite a few more laps than the first day.  And yes, I'm hurting a little more now, but still - much less than what I would expect for that level of activity.

I know it's too soon to know for sure ....

I'm afraid to even say this ... but I'm cautiously - hopeful.  

Please, please, please let this medication work for me!  

Please, please, please let this be a new beginning!

I'll be in the pool nearly every day for the next several months so I will continue to work on re-building strength in my arm.

All in all, it was a great holiday weekend.  

Did you do anything fun and/or exciting for your weekend?  

I'm nosy - I want to hear all about it!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Time Off

I'm taking a little time off over this holiday weekend.

So far, it's involved a lot of tequila and not much else.

I hope you're having a great weekend too!

I'll be back soon!

© Twenty Four At Heart 

You've Been Dying to Know?

Ah yes, once again it's time to update you on the exciting tidbits I call my life with a mish-mash of unrelated topics all thrown together in one post.  I might will most likely regret writing this after I hit publish.

My oldest son is home from college for a few months.  That means I have two teen boys in the house again.  It also means I've been to the grocery store every single day since he got home.  I can't seem to buy enough food because, between the two boys, I'm convinced someone is eating every minute of the day at our house.  How else could they go through so much food?  Yesterday I bought THIRTY SIX eggs.  At one time.  I might add a button to my sidebar so you can donate food to the 24 household if the mood strikes you.  

Just kidding.  (For now!)

I've been falling asleep at odd times since I was put on my new pain meds.  I've never before slept during the day.  I'm not a napper.  I can't sleep on trains, planes or automobiles either.  

Except?  

All of a sudden I can.  In fact, just try to keep me awake.  

I am the new face of necrophilia narcolepsy.  

Damn!  I always get those two words confused.

Yesterday I managed to stay awake for the entire day for only the second time since my pain meds were changed.  I was so happy to see my body is adjusting to the new drugs.  Except, today?  Today is the day I increase my current dose.  That's right ... for the next week I will be taking twice the amount I took all of last week.  

Zzzzzzzzzzzz!  

What was I saying?

I've lost fourteen pounds.  Woo hoo!  I'm only losing about a pound a week now.  I've been told weight gain is a "common side effect" of the pain drugs.  If I gain weight the drugs will quickly become a part of my past.  I'm working far too hard to lose my post-car-accident weight to let any type of medication mess me up.  It's too bad ten five of the fourteen pounds I've lost were probably gained on a pre-diet bender.  

Have you ever gone on a pre-diet bender?

What?  Am I the only one?

My pre-diet bender involved my favorite Mexican restaurant, chips, salsa, and a few too many margaritas.

Guess where I've lost weight from?  

My fingers!  

That's right ... I had the skinniest fingers ever invented (are fingers invented?) and now they've gotten even skinnier.  I've always worn a very small ring size.  Now my wedding bands keep wanting to slip right off my fingers.  (And not just when Adam the pool boy stops by!)  

Have I told you about Adam the Pool Boy?  No?  

I told Twitter.  Hmmm!  

(Or did I mean, Mmmmmmmm!?)

* Do not click on the Mmmm link if you are easily offended or a virgin. *

Am I rambling today?  Even more than a random-catch-all type post would warrant?  Let's blame the new meds, okay?  I don't think they have a thing to do with it, but I can blame them for everything for a good six months or so.

Back to my skinny, and getting skinnier, fingers ...

My wedding rings are a style which can't be sized smaller (or larger for that matter).  I've got fat to spare everywhere else on my body, but my too thin fingers are now even thinner.  

Go figure.

I got another email from a "well endowed man" last week.  He asked if I'd like to set up a "personal interview" with him to verify his well endowed-ness and then he typed a winking smiley face at the end of his email.  Why are men so preoccupied with their dicks?  And how many women really want a well hung man who types little smiley faces in his emails anyway?

Speaking of phallic shapes ....

I have a million hot dogs left over from our party last weekend.  If you live in South Orange County and you love hot dogs, please let me know.  Our family doesn't eat them more than once a year.  Even my chow-hound teen boys don't care for them.  Free hot dogs to the first South OC family to contact me!  (Sandi?  I'm thinking of you!  But the hot dogs are first come, first serve - so to speak!)

I'm apologizing to those of you who were looking for some of the wave photos from yesterday's post on my photo site.  The requested photos are up now!  So sorry!  (Camera button on my sidebar.)

I've been crazy busy lately.  You know, between the daily grocery runs, the medical appointments, a bunch of family stuff I can't yet blog about, falling asleep at inappropriate times and places, etc.  

And yet, I'm hoping to write a post from inside the Money Town Starbucks sometime in the next ten days.  That's right, I'm going to park myself in the Money Town Starbucks and write about whatever goes on around me.  Let's hope I don't fall asleep while I'm there.  I'd probably get arrested if I did.

Maybe there won't be anything to write about in Money Town that day ...

But I sincerely doubt that will be the case.

There is ALWAYS something going on in Money Town.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Ahhhh! Orange County

I felt very driven to see the enormous waves everyone was talking about yesterday.  Normally, we only get average size waves in Orange County.  This weekend, however, there were reports of 8 - 20 foot waves.

Ok, let's be honest ....

The big waves were just my excuse to go to the beach.

(As if I need an excuse?)

I'll come up with next to anything to get out of housecleaning and chores.

In spite of the huge waves, conditions for surfing were poor.  I drove up to The Wedge, which is in Corona Del Mar, because it is the premier surfing spot.  No one was surfing.  The wind was whipping the ocean into a frenzy, making surfing conditions horrible.

Did you notice how the ocean spray is blowing to the side?  The wind was amazing!  

I was guarding my camera from blowing sand particles every second I was at The Wedge.

One little speck of sand can ruin a camera in a second flat.  You don't want to know how I know that, do you?  I'd really rather not talk about it .... 

The power of an angry ocean is an amazing and awe-inspiring thing to watch.  Have you ever seen an angry ocean?  

It looks like this:

  

There was a lifeguard standing nearby.  He wasn't allowing anyone to go into the ocean.  Conditions were far from safe.

After almost getting blown off the jetty by the fierce winds, I decided it was time for a change of scenery.  

My next stop was the Balboa Pier in Newport Beach which is very close to The Wedge.

It was very windy still, but beautiful.

I've included one more photo today for those of you who are curious about the city of Newport Beach.

This photo was taken from the Balboa Pier, looking back at the city of Newport Beach.  Can you see all those tall buildings?  Well, now you know where many of Orange County's finest transform from being real people into plastic people.  That's right - they walk into many of those buildings REAL and come out PLASTIC.

It's true, I swear!

© Twenty Four At Heart  

A Day of Rest

The party yesterday was a big success.  It's amazing how much food (and tequila!) we went through.

I'm tired today.  

I think I'll be fighting exhaustion for a couple months until I'm used to the new meds and they get my doses finalized.  I hate being tired all the time.  It's as if I've reverted to being a child - I need a daily nap.  If I don't have a chance to take a nap, I can't function the second half of the day.  Either I'm three years old or three hundred, I'm not sure which.

In any case, I'm taking today off to do as little as possible.  I hear the waves are enormous this weekend.  Maybe if I get a burst of energy later today, I'll mosey down to the beach for a long walk.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Pool Party

 

While I was out of town for Mother's Day weekend, Briefcase volunteered our house for a pool party and barbecue this weekend.  

No, he didn't check with me first before volunteering us me to do all the work.

This isn't a small affair either.

We are hosting around 75 people from my son's baseball program this afternoon and evening.

Everyone we're expecting is very nice and I'm sure I'll enjoy myself once it begins.  On the other hand, I can't say throwing a large party is remotely exactly what I needed right now.

Someone pass me a margarita, please!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Sheer Joy!

Some things, at our house, are inevitable.

Even before the pool is heated ...

The weather gets hot ....

And some members of our house ...

Leap for joy ...

Out of sheer excitement ...

  

And unbridled enthusiasm ...

Because it's almost ....

Summer!

* No animals were harmed during the photography session for this post.  One animal may have been brushed, however, before he was allowed to enter the pool. *  

© Twenty Four At Heart

Bikini Waxes, Pedicures and New Sandals

This *might* be a girlie post today.

(Waving good-bye to all my male readers!)

Since I returned from my trip, I've been busy getting my life back in order.

It has involved very mundane activities such as blah, blah, blah UNPACKING, and blah, blah, blah, LAUNDRY and blah, blah, blah GROCERY SHOPPING, etc.

I also realized I, myself, was sorely in need of a little maintenance.

I hesitate to even mention this fact because it's quite possible you:

1)  Currently think I'm flawless and require no maintenance.

2)  Will forever brand me as an "OC Woman" if I tell you I do indeed partake of much needed maintenance from time to time.

It occurred to me yesterday, as I ran from appointment to appointment, perhaps I'm a little more Orange County than I'd like to admit.  I suppose this place is a bit insidious and invades the personalities even of those of us who try to fight it off.

As an example, I had a woman yank out my pubic hairs again yesterday.  With each and every rrrriiiiiiiiippppppp I gasped in pain.  

And yet?

It's bathing suit season in Orange County.  

It was 80F/26.7C at my house yesterday afternoon.

Rip away!

I wonder if Brazilian Bikini Waxes are the "must have" of cooter grooming outside of Southern California?  My guess is they aren't.  

As a side note, my waxing salon has now come out with "Baldy Bucks."

Oh yes, they have!

Each Brazilian Wax earns their patrons one "Baldy Buck."  After nine Brazilian waxes a customer has earned enough Baldy Bucks to get one FREE Brazilian Bikini Wax.  I'm sure you'll be interested to hear I only have one more paid Brazilian until I, too, am the recipient of a FREE Baldy Buck Brazilian Bikini Wax.

Only in Orange County?

After my coochie grooming, I was off to do something about the talons growing out of my feet.  I had intended to get a pedicure before going to Santa Barbara, but then realized the sand would ruin new polish.  Because I postponed this particular maintenance, my toenails had grown to epic lengths by the time I went in yesterday.

They're looking slightly better now.

I had them painted purple to match my hair.  

(Well, to match the purple streak in my hair.)

A girl's got to coordinate her look, right?

Actually, the pedicure was also a priority because I want to wear the new shoes I bought in Santa Barbara.

Aren't they cute?  

They wouldn't look good with talons poking out of them - hence, the need for a pedicure.

I live in sandals of one sort or another year round.  These are made by Cole Haan and they were on sale (!) for $80 off their normal price.  I love that they have a not-too-high heel.  

They're perfect to slide into and wear with jeans when I need something a little nicer than my usual flip flops.

How about you?

Have you earned your Baldy Bucks yet?

Do you have a favorite nail polish color for spring and/or summer?

Have you found a perfect pair of sandals for summer yet?

© Twenty Four At Heart

Two Faces of Money Town

I was running a quick errand the other day.  I was preoccupied with thoughts of all the things I needed to accomplish before the end of the day.  

As soon as I entered the store, I heard a man bellowing.  Yes, bellowing.  There is no other word to describe what he was doing.  I saw a well appointed Money Town woman cringing by his side.  She gave me an apologetic look as if she were the one responsible for his boorish behavior.

Initially, I could only see the man from the back.  He had white, thinning, hair with a bald patch on the back of his skull.  He was heavyset.  

And then he turned and glared at me.  He had blue, piercing, eyes and it was clear he was set to destroy anyone in his path on this particular day.

The man was walking around a shopping mall, not long after having had a facelift and nose job.  He looked a bit like the picture below, but he also had his nose bandaged and blood/fluid drains still attached to each side of his head.

 

When I saw the blood-filled drains I nearly barfed on the spot.

Seriously?

He had to be in his first week post-surgery.  Could he not have spared us all from seeing those?  (gagging!)  

Who goes out to the mall like that?

Not only that, the man was older than the earth itself, and I couldn't help but wonder Why?

I realize, the pressure to look young in Southern California is beyond anything most of you can imagine ... 

But really? 

More and more, I see people walking around in public with their plastic surgery bandages on.  (Although, this particular man takes the cake with the bloody drains hanging from each ear!)

I guess the Money Town crowd figures everyone is having plastic surgery, so why bother hiding it?  Perhaps the amount of "work" a person can afford to have done has become something to brag about and flaunt.

I am still *shuddering* at the image of the man.  It seems to be burnt into my brain.

The very next day found me at the Money Town grocery store where I encountered The Biggest Bitch in The World.

There really are a lot of bitchy women here, have I mentioned that? 

Anyhooooo,

Have you ever walked up and down the grocery aisle with your cart and on every single aisle you see the exact same person?  Their grocery store run and yours are synced perfectly, in such a way, to make you feel very awkward.  It gets to the point where you feel like you should say something to the total stranger.  Like, perhaps, "How's the husband doing today?" but then you realize you don't even know the person ...

You just have grocery-aisle-familiarity (GAF) with them.

No?

Well, this particular woman wore Money Town Attitude like a cloak on the coldest of days.  She was most likely in her late sixties, but didn't look a day over 50.  She had been nipped and tucked and glittered with giant, sparkling, bling.  Her clothes and shoes and handbag were weighted down with the burden of the most expensive designer labels.

She took one look at me, sniffed the air, and turned her head with a look of disgust.

Did I mention what I looked like on this particular day?

I had just walked four miles.  I had on my favorite black, capri length, workout pants.  They're a combination of sweat pants and yoga pants.  They are, without a doubt, the most comfortable thing on earth to wear.  I pretty much live in them except when they're being laundered.

I had on a sports bra which means my Bionic Nipples were undoubtedly very visible right through my v-necked, white, cotton t-shirt.  I had on my favorite sneakers and my hair was pulled back in a ponytail.  I'm sure my face was red from walking in the heat for four miles.  I had no jewelry on, not even my wedding ring.

The Biggest Bitch in The World was not impressed with me.  She looked at me with disdain when she bothered to look at me at all.

Up one aisle, and then down the next - we continued to manuever past each other as we shopped.  When her cart blocked my way, she made no attempt to move it to allow me to pass.  

Yes, she broke grocery store etiquette.  

Can you believe it?

It soon became apparent to me that The Biggest Bitch in The World was intentionally trying to get in my way.  No matter where I was, or what item I was reaching for ... she'd be there, in the way, and refusing to yield.

"Excuse me," I must have said a million times as I tried to reach an item.

She would not move.  

Not one inch.

Over and over, aisle after aisle, we continued this antagonistic dance.

She remained the staunchest of adversaries, consistently refusing to make even the slightest move to accomodate me.

We finally had a stand-off by the oatmeal.

Oh, yes we did!

It was kind of like the old Gunsmoke shoot-outs, except - totally different.

She had positioned her cart along the oatmeal section and stood next to it. 

I wanted to buy oatmeal.

I waited.

I waited some more.

She didn't move.

She wasn't putting anything in her cart.  She just stood there, blocking the oatmeal.  She was fully aware I was waiting for her to move.  It was an intentional, annoying, move on her part.

She was in full oatmeal-blocking position.

"Excuse me," I said politely once again.

She rolled her eyes.

She looked at me with contempt.

"I'd just like to grab some oatmeal," I explained as nicely as I could.

Arrogance dripped off her into a puddle on the floor.

"Oatmeal?" she sniffed, making no attempt to move her cart, or herself.

"The oatmeal is right there, right behind your cart," I replied a bit impatiently.

"Is it?" she said disinterestedly.

She didn't move.

My patience with The Biggest Bitch in The World was gone.

I pushed my cart past her, and past her cart.  I put my hand firmly on her cart and pushed it out of my way.

She gasped.

How brazen of me!  How impossibly rude of me to expect someone like her to move.

I took my time and calmly walked where her cart had been.  I took the oatmeal I wanted.  I placed it in my cart and went on my way.

Behind me I heard her hmmphing and hawing over my escape.

Oh yes, I won the Money Town oatmeal stand-off and I'm proud of it!

© Twenty Four At Heart

One More!

I often post photos on the weekends so I can take a day or two off writing.  I couldn't resist sharing a beach photo again today.

 

I keep thinking a family vacation would be nice this summer, but maybe we should just hang out at home and enjoy where we live.  

It really is beautiful.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Almost Summer?

I've been getting requests for more beach photos.  

Some of you live where there's still snow?

 

It's a beautiful weekend here.

The beaches are busy, and yet, the tourists haven't arrived in full force yet. 

No offense, but (for me) that's a good thing.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Noteworthy

Believe it or not, I'm still trying to recover from the crud that took over my lungs last week.  

I have the energy of a snail on a snail's most relaxed day.

Nonetheless, I did have enough energy to snort out loud when a man introduced himself to me last weekend.

His name is Mr. DeCock.

His first name is Pat.

That's right ... Pat De Cock.

I couldn't make up a name like that if I tried.  And yes, I did guffaw out loud before I could stop myself.

I'm sure he's used to it?

Can you imagine growing up with a name like that?

Can you imagine some young girl having a crush on him and thinking to herself, "When I grow-up I want to be Mrs. Pat De Cock."

I met one of The OC's most obnoxious women recently too.  There are a million other women just like her here, but I have to wonder why?

What is it about Orange County that makes women so insecure?

Or are insecure woman driven to come here by some magnetic force of the Pacific Ocean?

Why are they so in need of proving to the world they are important by collecting material things and plastic body parts?

More importantly ...

Why don't they all know to stay away from me or I will make fun of them?

They should know that about me by now, don't you think?

And yes, I am talking about you ...

The one with the Louboutin shoes, $3,000 designer purse and spinach in the cleavage of your store-bought double D's.  (The spinach dropped out of the veneers on your teeth and hung on the cleavage area of your dress.  You might have noticed if your botoxed face could have forced your eyes to look downward.)

* Ahem *

Sometimes I feel like the only person in Orange County unimpressed by wealth.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to win the lottery as much as anyone else.

Unless it made me like them, and in that case, I'd prefer not to.

Because, really?

Some of the most pathetic, empty, shallow people on earth live here.

Shoes, and handbags, perfect plastic body parts, and model-homes don't impress me.

Oh, but people with kind hearts?

Whether they have money or not, the people with kind hearts -

They impress me.

P.S.  (Did I mention I won $2 in the MegaMillions lottery last week?  That should help out with college costs for my kids, don't ya think?!  Woo Hoo!!)

P.P.S.  Happy Birthday to my longtime and very dear friend, Nike!! xo

© Twenty Four At Heart

Bloggers at Las Brisas

There's a restaurant called Las Brisas perched on a bluff in Laguna Beach.  They have a very popular outdoor bar, in addition to a fairly swanky indoor restaurant.  It's a favorite place for Orange County folks to bring out of town guests.

Why?

Well, the view has a lot to do with it. 

Las Brisas could not be more "Orange County."  The people-watching there is always incredible too.  (Particularly in the summer when no one in the bar wears much in the way of clothing.)

Last Wednesday night, I arrived at Las Brisas to meet up with a few other bloggers.  The event was organized as part of Bossy's No Book Tour.  (For the two one of you who don't know Bossy, she is a humor blogger.) 

Humor.  

As in, she is funny all the time, whereas, I just think I'm funny some of the time.

This is what Las Brisas looks like from inside the restaurant at night:

 

This is what our group looked like after everyone had drunk a little wine and/or a few margaritas.

I stole borrowed this group photo from Bossy.  I'm sure she doesn't mind I wrote all over it. 

Isn't Bossy gorgeous? 

I was the last one to arrive.  I had been sitting in the cold and rain for three hours watching my cold turn into pneumonia son's baseball game.  Why they didn't call the game is beyond me.  It was nice to arrive at Las Brisas and see the ocean storming though.  I love the beach during a storm.

Despite arriving late, and feeling very rushed and flustered, I quickly settled in and had fun.

 

Who, me?

Can you imagine me having fun?

By the way, I'm not sure who I stole that last photo from.  It might have been on Bossy's camera too.

What could be better for a stormy night by the sea than a bowl of soup?

Ok, I admit, it does look like something one of my dogs yakked up.

It was some sort of hominy something-or-other, and also, sort of Mexican-ish.

Guess what?

It was delicious.  Absolutely fantastic!  I would order it again in a minute. 

I really enjoyed meeting some new people and also getting caught up with a few old friends.  Bossy will have to come visit Orange County more often so we have an excuse to celebrate again.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Unexpected Storm

Remember, I mentioned sitting out in the cold and rain while my son played baseball on Wednesday afternoon?  Maybe you chuckled and thought, "Twenty Four doesn't even know the meaning of cold weather!"

I took this photo Thursday afternoon from my backyard patio.

Yes, "my" mountain had a dusting of snow on it.  It didn't last long, but still - snow!

It's almost May ...

Can you believe it? 

© Twenty Four At Heart

I'm Blaming My Friends, Part III

Isn't it about time I conclude this story?

I think so.

When I left off last week, I was at a bar named K'ya in Laguna Beach with a few girlfriends.

We drank a couple mojitos, possibly got a little carried away taking photos of random strangers at the bar, met a few "relatively harmless" men, and then decided to leave.

On the way out, we ran into some music makers.  They could barely contain their laughter as Nike began shimmying and dancing in front of them.  They also seemed to think it was pretty funny I was taking their pictures.  

They might have thought we were a *little* tipsy. 

Nike wanted to make one more stop before it was time to head to the Laguna Playhouse.

230 Forest Avenue is not just an address.  It's also the name of a popular restaurant/bar in Laguna Beach.  Unlike K'ya, 230 Forest Avenue doesn't have an ocean view.  230 does have great food though.

As we walked to 230, we passed this VW bug:

  

A closer look at the sign on the windshield revealed this:

The sign Dee is holding says, "If you like what you see contribute to me.  I'm a work in progress.  Donate through sunroof and see what becomes of me."

We did not toss any money through the sunroof.

Instead, we entered 230 Forest Avenue and ordered another mojito and a host of appetizers to share as our evening meal.

I don't think any of us were feeling any pain at this point in the evening.

After a few bites at 230, it was time to go see The Second City perform Can You Be More Pacific?  We walked a couple blocks to the theater.  (I might have taken off my heels and walked the few blocks barefoot due to blisters on my feet.  It's a beach town - no one noticed!)

As we entered, we were handed our programs.

Let's take a closer look at how the program portrays Orange County women.

First of all, her body is a navel orange.  (See her navel?)  She's got big, over-sized, filled lips, designer sunglasses, platinum blonde hair, jewelry on her wrist, and manicured nails.  

It looks pretty accurate to me. 

The performance was great and made for a perfect ending to a fantastic girl's night out.

There's no reason to bring up the horrific hangover/headache I had the next morning, is there?

I didn't think so ....

© Twenty Four At Heart

Potpourri

I hope you had a nice weekend!

I've had house guests here for the last five days.  Even the best house guests are exhausting, don't you think?

Or maybe I'm just old.

I feel like I need to be Happy!  And Up!  And Chatty!  And Cooking!  And Cleaning!  And Entertaining!  all day long every single day while they're here.

It's so much easier to be grouchy, and lazy ....

In the theme of laziness, I thought I'd give you a few random updates today.

1.  Whirlpool came out five days earlier than expected and fixed my "failed" three and a half year old front-loading washing machine.  I was thrilled with their earlier-than-expected response time.  The final cost of the repairs was over $1,600 and Whirlpool charged me nothing.  I haven't written about the repair, because I wanted to use the machine for a week or so, and make sure it continued to work.  It has, but the other day I found water sitting in the empty tub, again.  The repair people had told me this happens when the pump fails and they just replaced the pump so I don't know what the deal is.  It's only happened once.  Maybe it was some weird fluke?  

I'll contact Whirlpool once my guests leave to take a look at it if it happens again.  The important thing is, I can do laundry again including the daily cleaning of my son's always-filthy baseball uniform.  

Thank you Whirlpool! 

This is what my son's uniform pants looked like five minutes into his game last Friday:

And that is why I need to do laundry every night!

2.  Several of you have asked why I might be traveling to Cambodia.  I've been invited by the Plasticos Foundation to travel with them to document and photograph a medical mission in June.  It isn't definite yet whether I'll be able to attend, but I'm working hard on the details in an attempt to take them up on this amazing opportunity.  As you may recall, the foundation travels to third world countries and performs life-changing surgeries to aid people with birth defects, malformations, and disfigurements caused by trauma.  In addition to changing the lives of the patients they attend, they also train the doctors in the countries they visit.  The doctors they train are then able to continue helping patients after the American medical team has departed.  

Everyone who travels with the Plasticos Foundation is required to work, and non-medical personnel are not normally permitted on these trips.  I'm incredibly honored they've invited me to come along to record this medical mission (with both my writing and my photography).  I'll let you know, as soon as I know, if I'm able to pull off the logistics to make this trip happen.

3.  It was pretty hot here this weekend.  Some of us will do anything we can think of to cool off.

He sits on the "beach" area of our pool to cool off.  Then he wades in and swims.  Then he sits back down on the beach for awhile.  He thinks it's his swimming pool.  (And for those who have asked in the past, we brush him daily so the pool doesn't end up full of dog hair.)

4.  I spent Saturday afternoon at Fashion Island in Newport Beach.

Fashion Island is an outdoor, swanky, high-end, mall.  You can see the ocean from the mall.  A Nordstrom store just opened at Fashion Island on Friday.  In spite of the fact we have several other Nordstrom stores in Orange County, the entire OC seemed to show up for this big (!) excitement.  

??

Personally, I went to people-watch.  I rarely buy anything at Fashion Island, but it may be the best people-watching anywhere in The OC.

However, this trip I dog-watched instead.

I've never seen so many dogs inside a department store in my life.  I counted twenty five dogs inside the brand new Nordstrom store during the short time I was there.  (And that was just on the ground level!)  I'm not talking (only) about little, tiny, dogs either.  Several of the dogs began growling and barking at each other and the owners just laughed as if it were all very amusing.

Two dogs started to fight in the shoe department.  

Seriously, Orange County?

I'm a total, complete, dog lover and I found it ridiculous, inappropriate, and annoying.  

One dog ran in circles around me wrapping its leash around my ankles.  What would happen if that same thing occurred with an elderly person and they fell?  And what happens when someone gets bit by a dog while buying their $2,000 designer purse?  Does Nordstrom want those lawsuits? 

Not to mention, some people are allergic or afraid of dogs.

What the hell Orange County?  Do you really feel so entitled, you don't think you need to concern yourself with the well being of the other people around you?

And Nordstrom, what are you thinking allowing dogs in your stores?  If they aren't guide-dogs/canine companions, they shouldn't be there.  It's not the beach, it's a department store. 

Oh wait, I forgot, dogs aren't allowed on most beaches here either.  So why are they allowed in our department stores?

5.  My arm is bad.  Very, very bad.  The pain is the worst it has been in months, and I've lost a lot of function since The Torturer stopped treating me in February.  It's very discouraging.  And painful.  And did I mention ... painful?  I've put it off for as long as I can, I'm going to have to call my doc this week and get back into treatment.  You have no idea how overwhelming the very thought is.  Or how depressing.  Or discouraging.  And did I mention it has been very painful?  As in, waking-me-up-several-times-each-night painful? Ugh .....!!!

6.  Hummingbirds live in Orange County year round.  They're definitely thirstier once the weather warms up though.  I was sitting out by the pool yesterday afternoon and they kept buzzing around my head.  I don't know why, but they always make me smile.  

I like to think our yard is a friendly place for them to hang out.

© Twenty Four At Heart

The Joys of Childhood

 

Orange County has its faults, but there are some wonderful memories to be made for those who grow up here.

© Twenty Four At Heart

I'm Blaming My Friends, Part II

** I'm hosting a giveaway on some fantastic skincare products.  Click here for details! **

Let's see, on Monday we left off with this:

A giant sized mojito, or several, a group of friends, a rooftop bar in Laguna Beach with stunning ocean views, and yours truly right smack dab in the middle of things.

I must not get out enough.

I was in quite a "let loose" mood as was my friend, Nike.  My other friends were having a good time too, but Nike and I?  We were having a really good time!

Also?

You should always eat before you drink a bunch of giant sized mojitos.  It slows down the drunkeness-factor.

For instance ...

Who are these people?

Their photos were on my camera, but I have no idea who they are.

I know they were at K'ya; they were seated near us.  How and why I ended up taking their photo is beyond me.  I think maybe I wanted to show you some OC people and they were kind enough to indulge me.

Let's just go with that ... 

(Yes, I am a lightweight with alcohol, why do you ask?)

This is Nike hugging Jim.  We met Jim at the bar.

I never knew Nike was such a man-magnet.  Maybe that's because we often have our husbands with us when we go out.  The opening line (all night long) involved men approaching Nike and telling her she looks like Jamie Lee Curtis.

What do you think? 

Jim seemed like a nice guy.  He was very friendly.

I think Jim liked Nike best.

Then there were these men:

They were there with the Laguna Beach Cowboy.  They seemed very nice.  

No one seemed to think it at all odd that a random drunk woman was approaching them and asking if she could take their photo and put it on the Internet.  

This is Casey.  Casey was our wonderful bartender at K'ya.

Casey makes a mean mojito.  Or two.  Or three.  Or ....

Look at the tattoo Casey has on his elbow:

Ouch!  It must have really hurt to get that tattoo.

This is a very horrible picture of me with Mike:

 

My bangs look exactly the same in this photo as they did when I was five.

F-I-V-E!!

(Dialing a hair stylist ...)

Mike, who is married and declared himself "relatively harmless", was visiting from Sacramento.  Mike wanted us to meet him at a bar after we went to see Can You Be More Pacific?  

That didn't happen ....

I think Mike liked all of us.  He was very friendly to everyone.

What happened next?

Well, I'll tell you about the conclusion of our evening in one of my posts next week.

(Make sure to join me for Photography Friday tomorrow and the announcement of the iS Clinical product winners on Saturday!  If you haven't yet entered to win you can do so by clicking here.)

© Twenty Four At Heart

I'm Blaming My Friends, Part I

* I will be hosting a giveaway this Wednesday!  Make sure to stop by and join in the fun! *

A few of my friends and I decided to go to the Laguna Playhouse one night last week to see The Second City perform Can You Be More Pacific?

Can You Be More Pacific? is a show consisting of a series of short skits/improvs spoofing Orange County.  It was hilarious.  I highly recommend it to all of my Orange County readers.  (Well, all of you who have a sense of humor!)  As a writer who is constantly making fun of the Orange County lifestyle, I truly appreciated the great acting and humor of the performances.

The show didn't start until 8 p.m., but my friend, Nike, thought we should start our evening around 4:00 in the afternoon.  

What can I say?

She likes to have a good time.

We parked on PCH (Pacific Coast Highway for those of you who don't live here) and walked a block or two to our first destination.

Walking along Pacific Coast Highway looks like this:

(Excuse the crappy photo quality - all of today's photos were taken with a very old point and shoot, and in many of them the photographer was inebriated.)

A drunk photographer is a shocking and very disturbing thing!

It only took a few minutes to spot our first destination.

We were headed to K'ya.  It's pronounced k-eye-a.

I think.

After ascending a couple flights of stairs we, too, were on the rooftop.

We were at the bar, but the seating area for people who actually want to eat food while they're at K'ya looks like this:

The bar crowd looked more like this:

Well, you did want to see a typical OC woman, didn't you?

Notice the mega-carat diamond studs in her ears, the designer sunglasses, the perfectly french-manicured nails and the bleached blonde hair.  

Oh wait, don't forget the excessive cleavage which is probably store-bought if she's like the majority of women here.

There's more too!

Check out the lips!

Do you think they're natural?

And what about her hair piece?  Do you think that's natural? 

 

How did I get off on this tangent?

My apologies.

I get a lot of people asking for photos of Orange County folks, and this woman is pretty typical.

She's probably a very nice person.

Anyway ...

With my back to the ocean, the view from K'ya looked like this:

 

Very pretty, but, of course, I faced towards the men ocean while we were there.

My friend, Nike, suggested we kick off the night with mojitos.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I was forced to agree.

And really?

That mojito is just the beginning of this story ......

(Part II will post on Thursday.  Also, I posted a few other photos of our girl's night out over the weekend.  If you missed them, you might want to scroll back and take a look.)  

© Twenty Four At Heart

The Red Phone Booth

I'm a lot of fun to go out with.

* Ahem *

Hey, wait - there's a red phone booth!  Come back!  

We need to get in the phone booth!

Is it odd that none of my friends even questioned my idea?

Instead, they were just ...

"Oh, Twenty Four wants us to squeeze into a phone booth.  Good idea!"

Smile for the camera, ladies!

Oh, look, here comes a random stranger.

Maybe he wouldn't mind taking a snapshot for us?

You want me to scrunch down how much for this photo?

    

And to think, this was all before we started drinking!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Laguna Beach Cowboy

I went out with some girlfriends on Thursday night.  

I had too so much fun!  I'll tell you more about it next week.

Once I've fully recovered.

For right now, I just want to share a photo I took while out.  I'm proud of this photo, although it's far from perfect.

I was at an outdoor, rooftop, bar overlooking the ocean.  It was beautiful.  

I *might* have had one too many mojitos.

This gentleman was sitting near me.  He had the ocean and sky behind him.  The sun acted as the perfectly positioned hair light.  All I had with me was a pretty beat up point and shoot camera.

And yet, still I got this ...

 

I don't know his name, but he gave me permission to take his photo.  (Thank you!)

I gave him my business card so he could see his photo here on Twenty Four At Heart.

I think it's an awesome photo, don't you?

© Twenty Four At Heart

I Was At A Hockey Game And ...?

A couple weeks ago there was a big fundraising night for my son's high school baseball program.  Fundraising is critical to public high schools in California.  There is no other funding for extracurricular activities anymore.  At the fundraiser, there were lots of varied, donated, items we were encouraged to bid on.  The proceeds, of course, went directly to the baseball program.

While Briefcase was busy drinking socializing, I bid on four seats to an Anaheim Ducks hockey game.

I won.

I was so excited, because I never win anything.

Of course, I had to pay to win, but still - I won.

The seats were center ice and just a few rows up.  Fantastic seats!  If I had bought them, they would have cost substantially more than what I bid on them.  It turned out to be an amazing deal.

I'm such a winner!

Yay me!

The game was last Friday night.

I like going to sporting events and I hadn't been to a hockey game in a long time.

The Ducks were playing the Vancouver Canucks.

The Ducks lost 5-4 in a shootout.

It was a really exciting game.

This is what I can tell you about the game.

This guy is a VERY good player and a Big Important Duck:

 

He's also my neighbor.

Just kidding sorta, but he does live in Money Town.

(So do a bunch of other professional and/or retired professional athletes.)

That makes me practically famous (and a great athlete too).

This guy was very drunk and obnoxious:

 

Of course, Obnoxious Drunk was seated close by.  He was "talked to" by the ushers and bouncers more than once, but he somehow avoided being thrown out.  Too bad for the rest of us, don't you think?

Some nice people did come by with a mop and they not-so-happily cleaned up the beer he spilled everywhere.

There was a big fight between players on the ice.  My husband and my son were very impressed.  They laughed.  They thought the fight was really funny.

Men are totally different than women, aren't they?

Anyway, after the fight was over this Duck ended up in the Penalty Box:

 

The other thing I noticed?

Those hockey players are really good ice skaters!

If I were in charge of hockey, however, I'd make a few changes to the sport.

For one thing, I'd get new, and prettier, red lights for all the rinks.

Also, I think I'd change the name of some of the teams.  I kept watching the hockey game and thinking of the game "Duck, Duck, GOOSE!" I used to play as a child.

Except, "Duck, Duck, CANUCK!" rhymes even better.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Very OC of Me!

I'm being treated to a few hours at a spa today.

I was given a gift card a long time ago and I've never used it.

 

I was worried it would hurt too much to have anyone touch me after the accident.

Except for, you know, The Torturer.  

He hurt me all the time, but I knew he understood my injuries.

Now that I don't have anyone to help me with my pain levels, I thought I'd give it a try.  I'm really hoping it helps settle down the pain I've been having lately.

It will also be really nice to be pampered for a few hours.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Orange County Priorities

I frequently share "Money Town" stories here on 24.  I've had readers email me and ask if the stories are "really" true.  It's hard for them to believe some of them I suppose.  To be honest, I often find it hard to believe the people here too.

I've also said many times, there really are nice people living in Orange County.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of vapid, superficial, materialistic people here also.

Our local CBS news reported an interesting story yesterday about a woman who lives in South Orange County.  In fact, this particular woman doesn't live too far from where I do. 

The article attracted my attention immediately for several reasons, and I knew I had to share it with you.

A thirty year old South Orange County woman was sentenced this week for fraud.

Now, you're probably thinking people get arrested for committing fraud all the time, and you're right - they do.

What fraudulent act did this woman commit?

Well, she established credit under someone else's name in September of 2008 so she could get her hands on $12,000.

Perhaps you're thinking in this tough economy she needed money for food, or shelter, and was so desperate she was willing to break the law in order to survive.

You would be wrong.

No, this particular woman "needed" cosmetic surgery including a boob job and liposuction.

Yes, at thirty years of age she was so desperate for cosmetic surgery, she was willing to break the law.  She had her surgeries back in September of 2008.

She ended up pleading guilty to identity theft, grand theft and burglary.

This week the woman was sentenced to jail time and three years probation.  In addition, restitution was ordered.

Where did she get her plastic surgery done?

Why, at the Pacific Center for Plastic Surgery!

That's right, my friends helped make her look beautiful.

They also assisted the police in their investigation ... which, in turn, led to the woman's arrest.

Well, at least we know she went to top surgeons to get her "work" done.

She probably has the nicest figure in the entire jail.

By the way, local news stations have dubbed her The Breast Bandit.

Only in Orange County!

© Twenty Four At Heart

Aliso Beach

** For those of you who frequent my photo site (see button located on the right sidebar):  I have just added a new album titled Beach2010 and it includes some of today's photos.  I will be continuing to add to it over the next few days/weeks/months.  In addition, I'm offering a 10% discount on all orders over $50 between now and the end of May! **

I spent Saturday at Aliso Beach which is located in the city of Laguna.  My only regret was I couldn't spend Sunday there too.  (The horrors of being an adult and having to do responsible things like laundry and grocery shopping, etc., etc!)  

The beach was pretty crowded.

 

The weather was in the mid-80s F (around 29.4C) and the water was warm for this time of year.  It was gorgeous.

The waves were big and there were a lot of people using skim boards.

My maternal instincts kicked in and I wanted to tell these boys to move further away from the rocks, but they couldn't have heard me over the crashing waves anyway.  (Rocks + crashing waves = very dangerous.)

It wasn't long until my camera was spotted.  In a matter of minutes a group of skim boarders started putting on a show for me. 

 

For some reason, my camera mainly stayed focused on this guy with the six pack abs:

* cough *  

* cougar * 

* cough * 

An 18 year old girl wandered up to me to ask some photography questions.  She said she'd just been given the same camera I have, "You know, it's just like yours - it's a Canon and it's black!"

Um .....

She went on and on about how she doesn't know how to use it but it DID come with a manual.

I actually think I could make an entire blog post just out of my conversation with her, but I won't ..... at least, not today.

The ocean water in Orange County is usually a deep blue color.  This weekend it looked green and reminded me of the water in more tropical locations.  It was so pretty.  I just kept taking photos trying to capture the beauty. 

This is the view with my back to the ocean.

Each of those homes is worth millions upon millions of dollars. 

If someone would like to donate one to me ...

I'd really enjoy waking up each morning and drinking my coffee with a full ocean view.

I took over 200 photos on Saturday.  (My arm is in excruciating pain as a result.  On the other hand, my soul is soaring in delight.)  I'm sure I'll share more of my favorites with you in future posts.

For now, I just keep thinking about how beautiful it was.  The day was hot, the beach was perfect, and the laughter of children rippled up and down the beach as they played.

© Twenty Four At Heart 

I'm in Heaven

The beach is absolutely spectacular this weekend!  

The weather has been hot, the ocean temperature is warm (for the Pacific), and the water looks almost tropical in color.

It makes my spirits soar.

This is what makes me (oh, so very!) happy.

© Twenty Four At Heart

Hot Weather

We've all been waiting, rather impatiently, to get back in the pool again.  

I think it's time.

© Twenty Four At Heart